Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions

MIA Officiant!

So, we met with our officiant, who is a minister, way back before Christmas. We really liked him, and we all agreed he would be officiating our ceremony. We also agreed to meet with him in April to go over things, and to do an informal "premarital counseling" session. We have been trying to get a hold of him for the past 3 weeks, and he has not called us back. All of our calls go straight to his voicemail. At what point do we start looking for another officiant? Our wedding is June 7! I'm really starting to worry about this!!

Re: MIA Officiant!

  • I would make one final phone call and also try to follow up with an email if possible.  Do you have an address to which you could physically go to?

    In your call/email, I would make it clear that if you do not hear from him by XX-XX date, you are looking elsewhere for an officiant.  
  • Go to his physical office/address asap. Do you have a written agreement with him?

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  • No written agreement.. we asked and he said he had never had a contract with any of the couples he has performed the ceremony for..I thought that was kind of fishy but went with it. We also haven't given him any money, so we won't be loosing out on anything. He is a minister at a church that is so small that it barely exists on the internet! Ughh. Just added stress that I don't need right now, lol!
  • Honestly then, at this point, I would follow mobkaz's advice and do a one last "Hey, if we don't hear from you by X date (I'd give him a couple days)..." and in the meantime start googling up other officiants. 


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  • @klholland07 have you heard back?
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  • Nope, still haven't heard back :( I have started looking for someone else, but it is going to be difficult because our wedding is now only 4 1/2 weeks away! Ughh :(
  • I agree with other & start looking around for a new person. You can have many things not happen and still be married, but if he doesn't show up, then there is no marriage. But to find someone now then the week of your wedding. Good luck!!
  • @Erikan73 I have started looking. I have already been told no by 2 officiants because they are already booked. And you are exactly right... our wedding can go on without everything except the officiant, which makes it 10 times more stressful and anxiety provoking!! Should have just went with our original plan to go to Vegas..but too late now!
  • If you haven't already, contact your local probate court (or wherever you have to go to get a marriage license) and ask them if they might have a list of officiants in your area or know of any retired judges that wil perform wedding ceremonies.

    As a backup plan, while you call to ask them that, find out what is involved to get set up with the state to be ordained to perform a ceremony. Maybe worse case you have a friend or family member who would be willing to become an officiant and perform the ceremony for you?

  • I ditto Erikan. Find out what the requirements are in your state for people to get ordained online, and see if you have a friend/family member who would be willing to become ordained online for you.

    Also contact the local probate court, register of wills, divorce master, and administrative offices of courts to find out if they have a list of people who can officiate.

    What state are you in? 
    Anniversary

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    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
  • I found someone!! :D Thanks for all the help and ideas! Now let's hope this one doesn't go missing too..haha.
  • glad you found someone!  You picked a good day to get married! I was married June 7th 2013..cannot believe our 1 year anniversary is around the corner!  Enjoy the few weeks leading up to the wedding day
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    Anniversary
  • Thank you! And Happy (almost) Anniversary to you @erinlin25! wouldn't you know the missing officiant finally called the other day!? Oh well, we are sticking with our new one!
  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    I found someone!! :D Thanks for all the help and ideas! Now let's hope this one doesn't go missing too..haha.
    Hurrah!  Best wishes and congratulations!
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