Wedding Etiquette Forum

Cashing Wedding Checks

At weddings hubby and I always give cash but this last wedding for some reason he grabbed a check. I explained how I hate doing that because it can take awhile for the B&G to cash it. But since this particular B&G were only going on a 2-day honeymoon I figured it wouldn't be too long. Well its been over 2 weeks and it hasn't been cashed, to me that seems like a long time since they have been back from their honeymoon already for 2 weeks. Can I say/ask anything? Or just patiently wait? I can't imagine I am the only one that is waiting for this?

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Re: Cashing Wedding Checks

  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    That is super rude on their part.  We always give a check, but we are also ready for it not to be cashed until they come back from their HM (a week to two weeks) so we know when to start looking in our account to see that it went through.

    I would want to ask, but I am not sure how to word that conversation.

  • I don't think that's unreasonably rude. Wait another two weeks and then check with them to see what's up? It can also take a long time for a deposit to show up online.
    This is me reading threads on TK
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    I think waiting a month for someone to cash a check is rude no matter if it was a wedding present or if you sent in a payment for a bill.  That is a long time to hold onto a check.

  • I would wait another week and then ask. Did you make it out to a married name? I know some banks have issue with non-legal married names. I make them out to one party for the most part.
  • I would wait another week or two before asking. We cashed ours the very next day since our bank is open on Sundays. This way we wouldn't have to worry about the cash/checks sitting around our house while we were gone. Had our bank not been open on Sunday, we would have cashed them as soon as we got back from HM. Once we saw how much we got after opening our envelopes, we made plans immediately for the money, like getting new tires for my husbands car. I know, not something fun or romantic, but getting money for our wedding allowed us to get better tires then we would have normally been able to afford.
  • I agree with PPs that two weeks isn't excessive, so I would give it at least another week.


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  • photokittyphotokitty where I want to be mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    I would wait another week and then ask. Did you make it out to a married name? I know some banks have issue with non-legal married names. I make them out to one party for the most part.
    This...I had to get a marriage license, which took 3 weeks (minister had to mail certificate, court had to receive and process, and then mail the license to me) before I could cash any of the checks made out to both of us or my first name and DH's last name - I did not take his name.

    Some people also think it is rude to cash a check before the thank you is mailed, so that might be the hold up of you endorsed to only one of them.
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

  • Thank you for the advice everyone!

    We made it out to both so the groom's name is at least legal at this time.

    If they had gone on a HM that was a week+ then I wouldn't be as surprised, but they have been home from their honeymoon weekend for 2 weeks now. But we can wait another week before asking!
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    Anniversary
  • Cookie PusherCookie Pusher Looking over your shoulder member
    Ninth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I'm notoriously bad at cashing checks quickly. I get my expense checks from work and they sit in my briefcase for weeks before I actually go to the bank to deposit. I use a smaller, localized bank with crappy hours and not too many locations. My bank also doesn't have whole "take a picture of your check" thing that a lot of other banks have, so I actually would have to go to the bank to deposit... which would be a lot easier if I could remember my ATM PIN...
    ~*~*~*~*~

  • NYCMercedesNYCMercedes BOS, NYC, DC. Forever a city girl member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    They had a lot on their plate. Give them at least six weeks before you say anything. You can't balance your account with an open check?
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    So I guess I am the only one who makes a point to cash checks immediately so that the gift giver has the correct balance both in their check books and actual bank accounts.  And I guess I am the only person who expects the same courtesy from others.  Having an open check out there is beyond irritating and for them to have been back for two weeks, they could have made the effort to get to the bank.

  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 Boston Suburbs member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Thank you for the advice everyone!

    We made it out to both so the groom's name is at least legal at this time.

    If they had gone on a HM that was a week+ then I wouldn't be as surprised, but they have been home from their honeymoon weekend for 2 weeks now. But we can wait another week before asking!
    You made it out to Mrs. Woman Married and Mr. Man Married? You should do "or" not and. This could be the hold up, because they'll need both signatures, and if she hasn't changed her name, this could be a little bit of a hassle.

    I always make out checks to one person, and use the "maiden'  name.
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Thank you for the advice everyone!

    We made it out to both so the groom's name is at least legal at this time.

    If they had gone on a HM that was a week+ then I wouldn't be as surprised, but they have been home from their honeymoon weekend for 2 weeks now. But we can wait another week before asking!
    You made it out to Mrs. Woman Married and Mr. Man Married? You should do "or" not and. This could be the hold up, because they'll need both signatures, and if she hasn't changed her name, this could be a little bit of a hassle.

    I always make out checks to one person, and use the "maiden'  name.
    This is not always the case for all banks.  Some of our checks were made out with both names and we didn't need both signatures.  As long as one name on the check matched the account then they took it.

  • Bubblegum5586Bubblegum5586 member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    edited May 2014
    Thanks @Maggie0829 I too try and cash immediately as I know how frustrating it can me. I don't mind waiting longer, I was just wondering the appropriate time to reach out, 3-4 I can do I think 6 is pretty ridiculous. Our checks were made out to both of us with our married name, but since the government shutdown happened the day before we got back from our HM my name changing was delayed. But Hubby signed all the checks and it was no problem. I have since heard through the family grapevine the delay is due to them not having a joint account yet. So hopefully they will do that soon, or realize they can just deposit into the grooms account if she hasn't changed her name yet. *** There is supposed to be paragraphs here but it's not saving that way ***
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  • photokittyphotokitty where I want to be mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    My bank would not deposit anything with both names listed, regardless of it saying "and" or "or," without both signatures and the certified marriage license. I'm not saying all banks have this rule, but mine did. It's best to make it out to one person, and if it is the bride - her maiden name.

    I guess I'm used to checks taking forever bc of all the non-profits I am involved in...if a check clears in under a month it's a modern miracle. They are slower than the speed of smell...
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

    huskypuppy14
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    My bank would not deposit anything with both names listed, regardless of it saying "and" or "or," without both signatures and the certified marriage license. I'm not saying all banks have this rule, but mine did. It's best to make it out to one person, and if it is the bride - her maiden name.

    I guess I'm used to checks taking forever bc of all the non-profits I am involved in...if a check clears in under a month it's a modern miracle. They are slower than the speed of smell...
    @photokitty - the bolded made me choke on my water.  That is a great saying and will have to use that in the future.

    [Deleted User]
  • photokittyphotokitty where I want to be mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    My bank would not deposit anything with both names listed, regardless of it saying "and" or "or," without both signatures and the certified marriage license. I'm not saying all banks have this rule, but mine did. It's best to make it out to one person, and if it is the bride - her maiden name.

    I guess I'm used to checks taking forever bc of all the non-profits I am involved in...if a check clears in under a month it's a modern miracle. They are slower than the speed of smell...
    @photokitty - the bolded made me choke on my water.  That is a great saying and will have to use that in the future.
    my signature slow saying...I encourage the use of it in all social situations ;-p
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

    [Deleted User]
  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 Boston Suburbs member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Thank you for the advice everyone!

    We made it out to both so the groom's name is at least legal at this time.

    If they had gone on a HM that was a week+ then I wouldn't be as surprised, but they have been home from their honeymoon weekend for 2 weeks now. But we can wait another week before asking!
    You made it out to Mrs. Woman Married and Mr. Man Married? You should do "or" not and. This could be the hold up, because they'll need both signatures, and if she hasn't changed her name, this could be a little bit of a hassle.

    I always make out checks to one person, and use the "maiden'  name.
    This is not always the case for all banks.  Some of our checks were made out with both names and we didn't need both signatures.  As long as one name on the check matched the account then they took it.
    Sorry, I should have said, "might need both signatures". But my point still stands, like photokitty said.

    I just think it's better if checks are made out to only one person in general. I don't know if my FI and I will open up a joint checking, and some couples keep everything separate 

    You can't really be mad if it's not their fault.
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  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 Boston Suburbs member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    I've also had no problem depositing checks that were not my legal name in the past, I would just endorse it using both names. I just think it's wise to only use one name and make it their un-married  name.
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