Pre-wedding Parties

Bridal Party Meet-and-Greet question

The weekend of my bridal shower, my fiance and I made reservations at a local restaurant (fun, not upscale) for the entire bridal party and their significant others to get to know one another. Just a fun, casual night out. The original impetus was for my out-of-town bridesmaid to meet everyone, although she won't be able to make it now :(. I was wondering what (if any) etiquette there was on this kind of a gathering. Since it's technically a "bridal party event," are we supposed to foot the bill? Of course, coming is not "mandatory" - just a fun night out. Naturally, they're all close friends, and some of them have even gone out with us to this same restaurant before for birthdays, etc, and everyone paid their own way. Will they be expecting us to pay, because it's a "wedding event"? My fiance says no, but I wanted other opinions just in case. At the very least, I suggested to him that it might be appropriate or appreciated to get everyone's first round of drinks or something, just as a "thanks" for being there. Thoughts?

Best Answers

  • Accepted Answer
    No, I would not foot the bill as it is a casual get together.  It sounds like this is no different than just a night out with a group of friends.  I would not feel obligated to foot the bill or pay for something else in a anyway.  It is not a wedding event in any way.  If you feel concerned please let them know that they will need to pay their own way as it is just a nice little get together.  You are not forcing anyone to get together you just made plans with a group of people and whoever choses to show up will.
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Accepted Answer
    I don't think you need to foot the bill, but I do think you need to make clear that anyone who comes will have to pay his/her own way in advance and not when they arrive at the restaurant.  People attending events at restaurants and having to pay for themselves is usually fine, but not when it's sprung on them.


  • mysticlmysticl member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    A wedding party meet and great is indeed a wedding event and I would absolutely expect the bride and groom to pay for it.  It doesn't matter that it isn't mandatory.  No part of you wedding is mandatory.  

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  • JCbride2015JCbride2015 Dirty Jerz member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    Whoops, just posted on what I realized was a duplicate post.  I'm with @mysticl, I think you guys need to pay because this is a wedding-related event.
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    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

  • Yep, you need to pay for it.  
  • I thought about it, and I originally wanted to listen to those who said no. However, while I like their reasoning for future events, I reread the wording on our evite and it does indeed sound like we are paying *facepalm*
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