Wedding Woes

Guilt

I feel like this wedding is getting somewhat out of control...

Re: Guilt

  • Ahhh, I hit post too soon. Forgive me, please!

    But I do feel like this is getting somewhat out of control. Short summary, we were engaged in May and we were planning our wedding for August (yes, I know it's crazy). It has gone from a small dinner with just family...but then the problem was *my family* because I am just as close with certain aunts and uncles but not as close with others, but it felt rude to not include everyone...and then immediate family ballooned to over 60 people...and then FI's side (admittedly significantly smaller than mine)...and then a few of our very closest friends...Before we knew it, we had a ballroom booked, a band booked (to me, an over-the-top expense; to my mother, a necessity), photographer booked (who is throwing in a $485 videography package, which I do realize is an extremely ridiculous price), and appointments for this week to meet with the stationer and florist. And all of this happened between Wednesday and Sunday of this past week. (My mother really *should* have been a wedding planner.) Oh, I also got a dress, and FI picked out tuxes for himself, his best man, and our two dads.

    My parents are paying for this, and being wonderful, and insisting that they wouldn't have this any other way. I am the only girl, and my mom sure does love to throw a big fancy party so I do know she's having fun, but I can't help but feel this overwhelming guilt that I am putting people out. 
  • theycallmelinztheycallmelinz Georgia member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    Can your mom adopt me? Haha jk. My parents can only contribute a certain amount toward my wedding and they are feeling bad that me and my FI want to contribute ourselves so that we have the exact wedding we want.

    But to address your situation, is the wedding getting out of control because it's not what you want anymore? If so, maybe you need to pump the breaks and have a sit down with everyone to get back to what YOU and your FI want for the day. If you do want the things they are willing to pay for, maybe still have a sit down with your parents and whomever else is helping to pay and talk to them about toning it down some to fit your style and/or explaining your concerns. 

    I know this isn't ground breaking advice, but I hope it helps some!
    Anniversary



  • DK and I were planning on paying for our own wedding, but ILs insisted on covering the bill. (I'm sure knowing that the most we'd do is a quick ceremony and a nice dinner with immediate family.) ILs are very generous, and love to throw a big party, so they did most of the planning with us along for the ride. We had veto power, and we tried to reign them in (do we really need to have 15 different apps if we're going to have a massive buffet? Do we really need cake for 250, if we're only going to have 100-something guests?), but in the end, it was their cash, and if they really wanted to go all out, we weren't going to stop them. We just said "Thank You" (probably a million times) and enjoyed our awesome wedding day.
    theycallmelinz
  • *Barbie* said:
    DK and I were planning on paying for our own wedding, but ILs insisted on covering the bill. (I'm sure knowing that the most we'd do is a quick ceremony and a nice dinner with immediate family.) ILs are very generous, and love to throw a big party, so they did most of the planning with us along for the ride. We had veto power, and we tried to reign them in (do we really need to have 15 different apps if we're going to have a massive buffet? Do we really need cake for 250, if we're only going to have 100-something guests?), but in the end, it was their cash, and if they really wanted to go all out, we weren't going to stop them. We just said "Thank You" (probably a million times) and enjoyed our awesome wedding day.
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