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Trying to keep the reception as adult friendly as possible, but....

cmorino12cmorino12 member
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in Wedding Etiquette Forum
We're both trying to make the reception as adult friendly as possible. We want everyone to be able to relax and enjoy themselves without having to worry about their kids. The only thing is, we're allowing our 10 year old flower girl, our 13 year old usher, and our 12 year old Jr. Bridesmaid to be at the reception. And the reason being is because they're old enough to know how to behave in settings like this and they listen. How do i word this? Is there even a way? Possibly 10+ Reception Only? Please no negative and rude comments just helpful suggestions. Thanks.
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Re: Trying to keep the reception as adult friendly as possible, but....

  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    You don't word it. You simply don't invite children, and it is perfectly acceptable to invite only wedding party children.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • NYCMercedesNYCMercedes member
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    What @lolo883 ‌ said.
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  • rajahmdrajahmd member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment First Answer
    Ditto. No need to invite children, and most people will understand why underage members of the wedding party are there. Just address the invites to the specifically invited people. If anyone writes in a child on the RVSP, you are within your rights to call them and say "I'm sorry but we can't accommodate the child. The invite was for X and Y only".

    Also, don't presume to know how each of your guests will enjoy themselves. Some may enjoy the company of children, some may not. But it's perfectly ok to feel that including children would not give you the vibe you want for your wedding (DH and I feel the same way, so we had no children at our wedding).
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  • sophhabobophasophhabobopha member
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    Just don't have the children on the invite. But I hate when people say they're not inviting kids so people "can enjoy themselves and not worry about the kids". Let me choose.
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  • mysticlmysticl member
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    cmorino12 said:
    We're both trying to make the reception as adult friendly as possible. We want everyone to be able to relax and enjoy themselves without having to worry about their kids. The only thing is, we're allowing our 10 year old flower girl, our 13 year old usher, and our 12 year old Jr. Bridesmaid to be at the reception. And the reason being is because they're old enough to know how to behave in settings like this and they listen. How do i word this? Is there even a way? Possibly 10+ Reception Only? Please no negative and rude comments just helpful suggestions. Thanks.
    Do any of these kids have siblings?  If they do they must also be invited.  You can't invite some kids from a family and not the rest.  And the reason you are inviting them to reception is because they are in your wedding and therefore they need to be invited to your reception.  

    And seriously, if you don't want kids there fine but don't try to disguise it as a favor to your guests.  
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  • offensivekitten2offensivekitten2 member
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    1) only split up families if you enjoy drama and being the family pariah.

    2) Teenagers are WAY more annoying than little kids. I'd rather see a tyke boogying down on the dancefloor than deal with teens sulking in corners like this is the worst thing that's happened to them ever.

    3) I post whatever I want. You are not magically in charge of me, random stranger.



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  • theartistformerlyknownastheartistformerlyknownas member
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    offensivekitten2 said:

    1) only split up families if you enjoy drama and being the family pariah.

    2) Teenagers are WAY more annoying than little kids. I'd rather see a tyke boogying down on the dancefloor than deal with teens sulking in corners like this is the worst thing that's happened to them ever.

    3) I post whatever I want. You are not magically in charge of me, random stranger.

    I couldn't agree more with 2. When my idiot brother arbitrarily put "no kids under 8" on his invitations, it confused the hell out of everybody. ESPECIALLY when he said he was worried about people drinking in front of kids. Um, most of those parents drink around their kids anyway, it's THEIR decision. And the little ones don't understand it, while the older ones do. And the 12 year olds are gonna be the ones sneaking drinks.
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
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    sophhabobopha said:
    Just don't have the children on the invite. But I hate when people say they're not inviting kids so people "can enjoy themselves and not worry about the kids". Let me choose.
    Very much this. It always bugs me, too, when brides think they are doing their friends and family some favor by giving the parents a night away from their kids. Not everybody is looking for a night away from their kids. Don't assume you're saving them from something. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • monkeysipmonkeysip member
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    AddieCake said:
    sophhabobopha said:
    Just don't have the children on the invite. But I hate when people say they're not inviting kids so people "can enjoy themselves and not worry about the kids". Let me choose.
    Very much this. It always bugs me, too, when brides think they are doing their friends and family some favor by giving the parents a night away from their kids. Not everybody is looking for a night away from their kids. Don't assume you're saving them from something. 
    And it would be really sad to me if children held their parents hostage, and by inviting the children, the parents felt that they HAD to bring them because good lord, you can't possibly say no to your kids, right?

    If parents don't want to bring their kids, they don't have to.  But if they want to, it's nice if they can.  (Although of course I respect any couple's right to not invite children if they don't want to).

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