Wedding Etiquette Forum

Venue v Guest List

I was recently at a wedding held in a gorgeous venue. . . The place was amazing. The tables were lovely, the centerpieces beyond gorgeous. It was a dream venue. Problem being, it could comfortably seat about 200 and the couple invited about 400. We were instructed to finish eating, then leave the table so that someone else could sit!!! They said it in a cute way though. . . . so it's ok, right? Such a bummer when it was otherwise a gorgeous event. Lurkers, be aware!!!!!!

Re: Venue v Guest List

  • Well obviously it must have been their DREAM venue and PERFECT.  How dare you tell the couple they can't have the perfect venue just because their guests need to sit?
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    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

  • Wait... did people TAKE TURNS eating dinner?  Oh my...

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  • Good lord. I'm in the process of making my list now, and I have to say, I will HAPPILY winnow the damn thing down if it means fitting into my venue. I will winnow it down just to have better food, frankly...I realize people have big families and that contributes to these giant weddings, but even so, no one is MAKING you invite your third cousins.
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    This baby knows exactly how I feel
  • How does that even work?! Do the other guests just stand around huddled against the wall?

    The selfishness of some people is so astounding. Plus, wouldn't that be some sort of fire hazard issue?
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  • Egads!
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • NymeruNymeru member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    My aunt is getting married a month after I am, and she was rather shocked when she found out I'm having a seating chart.  She's not bothering with one because there won't be enough tables for everyone to eat at the same time at her wedding, but, you know, no big deal.  We're all adults, right?  We know how to take turns and share.  There will be enough tables for about 2/3 of the guests.  I'm not exactly thrilled, but she sees nothing wrong with it.  She thinks that everyone will be sociable enough to not need a seat for the night.  We're supposed to mingle and dance all night, not sit.
  • @nymeru - I'll bet your aunt would be surprised when I left her wedding reception if I was a guest.  If I don't have seating I don't stay.
  • What the absolute fuck?
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    Anniversary
  • Lol, on military boats that called a "hot cot". Space is sacred, so they only have about half the bunks they need for a full crew. People on different shifts "share" a cot. So, the guy who is replacing you is just getting out of bed when you are coming to bed...and the bed is still toasty warm from him...hence the word "hot". I didn't realize this is a standard we are setting for weddings now also (sarcasm).
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  • WUT. How did they announce this?
  • Well, as long as they said it in a cute way.....


    Was it in a poem? Please tell me there was a poem!!
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  • kaos16kaos16 member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    word of mouth. . . . Bride and groom have so many friends, and they wanted to include everyone because they love so many people, that we don't really have enough seats for everyone. . . . kindly get up when you are done. . . . you can dance or mingle on the patio. What ended up happening though, is the food came out so absurdly late that a lot of people had left. I guess that's good, lol
  • Well, as long as they said it in a cute way..... Was it in a poem? Please tell me there was a poem!!
    We don't have a seat for your butt
    cuz we don't give a f**k.
    Stand around and wait to eat
    You can keep busy by kissing my royal feet.
    Please get up once you've ate
    and go have a dance with... never mind we didn't let you bring a date.
    gosh, I love the knottie poetry! This is a great one :)
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  • Please see sig pic. This is awful.
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
    eyeroll
  • I don't even KNOW 400 people, let alone do I want to invite that many to our wedding.


    Daisypath Anniversary tickers



  • kaos16kaos16 member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    MagicInk said:
    Did the bride and groom also get up and give up their seats for their guests to sit down?

    I don't recall seeing either of them sitting ever. . . .they had to mingle with A LOT of people!!  I tracked them down individually at one point to congratulate them.
  • Don't you know this was their VISION. Their VISION, dammit! And it's because they LOVE YOU SO MUCH.

    Gosh, ungrateful guests... </sarcasm>

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  • I ...don't.... can't.... 

    speechless. 
  • Nymeru said:
    My aunt is getting married a month after I am, and she was rather shocked when she found out I'm having a seating chart.  She's not bothering with one because there won't be enough tables for everyone to eat at the same time at her wedding, but, you know, no big deal.  We're all adults, right?  We know how to take turns and share.  There will be enough tables for about 2/3 of the guests.  I'm not exactly thrilled, but she sees nothing wrong with it.  She thinks that everyone will be sociable enough to not need a seat for the night.  We're supposed to mingle and dance all night, not sit.
    Bring one of those chairs in a bag, so you and then H will have a place to sit the whole time!  Make sure it has one of the cup holders too, so it can hold you drink for you!
  • MGPMGP member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    Good lord. I'm in the process of making my list now, and I have to say, I will HAPPILY winnow the damn thing down if it means fitting into my venue. I will winnow it down just to have better food, frankly...I realize people have big families and that contributes to these giant weddings, but even so, no one is MAKING you invite your third cousins.
    Love you attitude and your GIF. That's the best WTF face I have ever seen!
  • I don't even KNOW 400 people, let alone do I want to invite that many to our wedding.
    Right! Nevermind LIKE. I actually like maybe 40 non family people.

    And about the op:
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  • kaos16 said:

    word of mouth. . . . Bride and groom have so many friends, and they wanted to include everyone because they love so many people, that we don't really have enough seats for everyone. . . . kindly get up when you are done. . . . you can dance or mingle on the patio.

    What ended up happening though, is the food came out so absurdly late that a lot of people had left. I guess that's good, lol

    That's not cute. :( It didn't even rhyme.
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  • downtondivadowntondiva member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited June 2014
    "We invited too many people 
    So stuff this food in your piehole
    And don't give us any sass
    When we ask you to move your ass." 


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  • kaos16 said:
    I was recently at a wedding held in a gorgeous venue. . . The place was amazing. The tables were lovely, the centerpieces beyond gorgeous. It was a dream venue. Problem being, it could comfortably seat about 200 and the couple invited about 400. We were instructed to finish eating, then leave the table so that someone else could sit!!! They said it in a cute way though. . . . so it's ok, right? Such a bummer when it was otherwise a gorgeous event. Lurkers, be aware!!!!!!
    What is "cute" about inviting twice as many people as the venue can hold and then asking everyone to leave the table so someone else can sit, regardless of how it's said?

    Bad, bad planning.
  • We hand picked my 174 person guest list.  We truly wanted them there.   There is not a venue in the world I would pick over hosting my guests properly.  Not one.  I can say that with certainty because I could have easily gotten married at my dream spot in the islands, but choose not to because it would have been a hardship for our guests.   So we picked a place closer to them (yet, still OOT for everyone).

    To me is not the location, but the people you are sharing the day with.








    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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