stupid crap FILs say

sarahufl · June 2014

cupcait927 said:

sarahufl said:

foundmymagicgeek said:

OP, if your FILs are within a 2 hour drive of NYC, they are not actually in Upstate New York. Signed, Someone who lives actual upstate NY

SITB...

Lol, guilty as charged. They live outside Poughkeepsie. Is that considered upstate? FI actually refers to northern Westchester as upstate, so I take my cues from him!

From another upstate NY-er, Poughkeepsie is definitely downstate

Where is the line drawn?

cupcait927 · June 2014

sarahufl said:

cupcait927 said:

sarahufl said:

foundmymagicgeek said:

OP, if your FILs are within a 2 hour drive of NYC, they are not actually in Upstate New York. Signed, Someone who lives actual upstate NY

SITB...

Lol, guilty as charged. They live outside Poughkeepsie. Is that considered upstate? FI actually refers to northern Westchester as upstate, so I take my cues from him!

From another upstate NY-er, Poughkeepsie is definitely downstate

Where is the line drawn?

For me at least, anything farther south than Albany starts becoming downstate and not upstate. It's just a whole different culture. For argument's sake, I'm technically in Western NY (think Adirondack area as more upstate), but when it comes to NYC (and the surrounding suburbs), we all unite as upstate NY.

bethsmiles · June 2014

SO's parents are really nice people but they say a lot of stupid things. They tend to believe everything they read without doing a lot of research. The most annoying is probably that they hop on every fad diet there is. Their ideas about what is healthy (very restricive ideas) is absurd to me and they make snide comments about what BF and I choose to eat.

The other really annoying thing they say has to do with camping. SO and I love camping. We live for camping in the summer. Every time we go they comment on how much we are taking (um, it all fits in SO's Toyota Carolla, not exactly a lot) and then always ask us if it was worth it when we get back. Yes it fucking was. We love it, the hour or so it takes to clean up and put everything away when we get back is not a problem.

doeydo · June 2014

FMIL once got on the topic of immigration and how "we" shouldn't have to change just because these immigrants are coming in (ie. companies, politicians, etc. say "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas" now). She sounded like "if they don't like how it's done here, then they can leave" sort of thing. Her husband is an immigrant. She is a decedent from immigrants from Scotland. *Sigh* I love her, but I try to avoid these types of topics now as we really disagree on these types of things.

smalfrie19 · June 2014

a lot of these stories make me really glad my family and FI's family are all from Western Washington...the only issue I ever really have is with FFIL. He is Jehovah's witness..but only when its convenient. He almost refused to move my boxed fake xmas tree when we moved...its like seriously?...its an undecorated FAKE TREE...even if you don't celebrate xmas....HOWEVER, he still spends time with his ex, disfellowshipped wife...which i guess is a no no acording to my FI.

LadyMillil · June 2014

kimches said:

buddysmom80 said:

I'm lucky that the only future IL I have is my FMIL. But, she gets obsessed with me turning into a baby factory.

When she comes over, I'm usually in the middle of knitting something and 99.9% of the time, it's a baby-related item. She gets SO EXCITED thinking that I'm knitting something because I'm KTFU. It gets a little annoying because it stresses me out and we're not even trying yet.

FI and I agreed that if/when we do start TTC to not tell her since it'll just turn the BSC up even more.

I think we have the same FMIL??? FI must have another brother that we don't know about. Before FI and I were even engaged, FMIL started asking when we were going to give her a grandbaby because AND I QUOTE "all my friends have grandbabies and they got to post cute pictures of their grandbabies on facebook! I want to do that! You don't even gotta raise the kid, just pop it out and hand it to me!" FMIL is only 42 and wants to be a grandma. Granted, she had three kids by the time she was 20. FI and I are both in our early 20's...we have plenty of time to procreate later. And we decided not to tell anyone when we start trying and not to tell a soul I'm pregnant until I'm 12 weeks along.

My mom wants a grandchild so bad. When she first met DH we had been dating for about 3 months and had decided to move in together. I told my mom that we would be moving in together during this visit and her response was "you better go see a doctor, unless you want to have a baby now, which would be ok with me". Really? She wouldn't let me date in high school, and spent all of university trying to convince me not to date because she was worried I would get pregnant, and as soon as I graduate undergrad, start grad school, and meet a guy it's all of a sudden okay to have a baby.

buddysmom80 · June 2014

LadyMillil said:

kimches said:

buddysmom80 said:

I'm lucky that the only future IL I have is my FMIL. But, she gets obsessed with me turning into a baby factory.

When she comes over, I'm usually in the middle of knitting something and 99.9% of the time, it's a baby-related item. She gets SO EXCITED thinking that I'm knitting something because I'm KTFU. It gets a little annoying because it stresses me out and we're not even trying yet.

FI and I agreed that if/when we do start TTC to not tell her since it'll just turn the BSC up even more.
I think we have the same FMIL??? FI must have another brother that we don't know about. Before FI and I were even engaged, FMIL started asking when we were going to give her a grandbaby because AND I QUOTE "all my friends have grandbabies and they got to post cute pictures of their grandbabies on facebook! I want to do that! You don't even gotta raise the kid, just pop it out and hand it to me!" FMIL is only 42 and wants to be a grandma. Granted, she had three kids by the time she was 20. FI and I are both in our early 20's...we have plenty of time to procreate later. And we decided not to tell anyone when we start trying and not to tell a soul I'm pregnant until I'm 12 weeks along.
My mom wants a grandchild so bad. When she first met DH we had been dating for about 3 months and had decided to move in together. I told my mom that we would be moving in together during this visit and her response was "you better go see a doctor, unless you want to have a baby now, which would be ok with me". Really? She wouldn't let me date in high school, and spent all of university trying to convince me not to date because she was worried I would get pregnant, and as soon as I graduate undergrad, start grad school, and meet a guy it's all of a sudden okay to have a baby.

Fortunately, my mother is the complete opposite. She's like "please don't make me a grandmother, I'm the only one in my circle of friends who is not a grandmother and it makes me feel young."

pinkcow13 · June 2014

kimches buddysmom80 - do we have the same MIL?! I only have her to deal with, thankfully. But yes, she is obsessed with grandkids. She wants me to get pregnant on the honeymoon (and said this to all the relatives at Mothers Day lunch at FI's grandmas house). The best though, was at our engagement party. She gave a speech and one line was that she couldn't wait for us to give her grandkids because "I'm ready!" My friends still tease me about that one. @foundmymagicgeek and @cupcait927 - I'm guilty. My parents live in Kingston, NY, but I always say they live "upstate." I really thought Kingston was considered upstate...

littlemushroom · June 2014

@kimches @buddysmom80 @pinkcow13 I get it from all sides. My FMIL bought FI and I stroller a couple months ago. Good grief. Can I please get married before I have to start thinking about kids?

Then my dad is obsessed with grandkids. He has been saying for at least 5 years (long before I met FI) that he wants a grandkid and the son in law was optional. I was around 28 when that started. Luckily, my mom punched him in the arm every time he said it. Now that I am engaged he is ready for grandkids any second now.

buddysmom80 · June 2014

NikkiJay3333 said:

@kimches @buddysmom80 @pinkcow13 I get it from all sides. My FMIL bought FI and I stroller a couple months ago. Good grief. Can I please get married before I have to start thinking about kids?

Then my dad is obsessed with grandkids. He has been saying for at least 5 years (long before I met FI) that he wants a grandkid and the son in law was optional. I was around 28 when that started. Luckily, my mom punched him in the arm every time he said it. Now that I am engaged he is ready for grandkids any second now.

Oh you totally win with that stroller story!

My dad doesn't even want to think that FI and I have sex, so he's pretty neutral with the grandkids thing. He did have a hell of a time hanging out with my BM's kids one evening when everyone was over for dinner, he even watched Frozen.

sarahufl · June 2014

NikkiJay3333 said:

@kimches @buddysmom80 @pinkcow13 I get it from all sides. My FMIL bought FI and I stroller a couple months ago. Good grief. Can I please get married before I have to start thinking about kids?

Then my dad is obsessed with grandkids. He has been saying for at least 5 years (long before I met FI) that he wants a grandkid and the son in law was optional. I was around 28 when that started. Luckily, my mom punched him in the arm every time he said it. Now that I am engaged he is ready for grandkids any second now.

They did not. That is above and beyond.

Another funny story about my FILs - Back in November, FI went up to see his parents without me and came home with a giant box of flatware (service for 12, for a couple who DOESN'T HAVE A DINING TABLE).

Turns out, she bought it A YEAR BEFORE because she thought we were getting engaged. The whole thing annoyed me for a few reasons. Not the least of which is that I really just don't like it, it isn't my style and wtf are we supposed to do with service for 12?

The other thing is- you just don't buy engagement presents for people because you THINK they are getting engaged- wtf, yo? It makes me nervous to think she has piles of baby gifts somewhere in their house. It isn't like it is something special or unique- just shit from Macy's.

They also went to Belgium at least a year before we got engaged and she almost bought me a ONE THOUSAND DOLLAR piece of lace to, you know, wear as a veil. Luckily FFIL talked her out of it but I would have flipped my shiz about that one.

FI just turned 35, so I think they are happy he is finally settling down, but FFS, lay off.

littlemushroom · June 2014

@sarahufl I wish I was kidding. She said it was just too good of a deal to pass up. I love my FMIL, but she can get overly excited about anything to do with my relationship with her son.

That is crazy that your FMIL bought you an engagement gift because she thought you might get engaged eventually. You are probably right about the piles of baby gifts stashed somewhere. At least your FFIL has some sense to try to stop her for somethings?

sarahufl · June 2014

NikkiJay3333 said:

@sarahufl I wish I was kidding. She said it was just too good of a deal to pass up. I love my FMIL, but she can get overly excited about anything to do with my relationship with her son.

That is crazy that your FMIL bought you an engagement gift because she thought you might get engaged eventually. You are probably right about the piles of baby gifts stashed somewhere. At least your FFIL has some sense to try to stop her for somethings?

SITB.

Especially with strollers, car seats, cribs, etc- who knows if there will be safety recalls by the time you have the chance to use it?! Then at that point, it isn't a good deal because it becomes useless!

The lace is (as far as I know) the only thing FFIL has talked her out of and it was honestly because, hi, a thousand dollars? Luckily they already have six grandchildren so they have the decency to not say anything to us about it.

We were talking once about babies (in a very abstract sense) - I have dark brown eyes and FI has bright blue ones. When we first met, I got really drunk and told him I have always wanted kids with blue eyes and he teases me because the likelihood is low. When he said "we will not have babies with blue eyes!" FMIL started sobbing because he mentioned having babies. We were all kind of stunned because it was so clearly a silly conversation. And she just kept sobbing saying she was so happy we were having babies.....

sarahufl · June 2014

kimches said:

@sarahufl a one thousand dollar PIECE OF LACE?! What in the actual fuck. Engaged or not, that is a ridiculous amount of money to pay for a piece of material, unless is was hand-made by the former Queen of Belgium. And yes, she probably has baby stuff hidden all over her house.

I said the same thing. WTF. My dress (and ALL THE ALTERATIONS) did not cost close to that. And you were going to drop a grand on lace to wear as a veil? I have no idea who made it or why it was so damn expensive. But if she had bought it, I would have had to use it!

sarahufl · June 2014

kimches said:

@sarahufl if someone in my family had done that I would have worn the pricey veil without complaint, but the whole time I'd be thinking "I could have used $1000 to replace my rain gutters or buy a couple nice recliners for the den"

But who knows what it even looks like? Or if it was my style? I would have had to basically plan my entire wedding wardrobe around it!

lkristenj · June 2014

sarahufl said:

NikkiJay3333 said:

@sarahufl I wish I was kidding. She said it was just too good of a deal to pass up. I love my FMIL, but she can get overly excited about anything to do with my relationship with her son.

That is crazy that your FMIL bought you an engagement gift because she thought you might get engaged eventually. You are probably right about the piles of baby gifts stashed somewhere. At least your FFIL has some sense to try to stop her for somethings?

SITB. Especially with strollers, car seats, cribs, etc- who knows if there will be safety recalls by the time you have the chance to use it?! Then at that point, it isn't a good deal because it becomes useless!
The lace is (as far as I know) the only thing FFIL has talked her out of and it was honestly because, hi, a thousand dollars? Luckily they already have six grandchildren so they have the decency to not say anything to us about it.
We were talking once about babies (in a very abstract sense) - I have dark brown eyes and FI has bright blue ones. When we first met, I got really drunk and told him I have always wanted kids with blue eyes and he teases me because the likelihood is low. When he said "we will not have babies with blue eyes!" FMIL started sobbing because he mentioned having babies. We were all kind of stunned because it was so clearly a silly conversation. And she just kept sobbing saying she was so happy we were having babies.....

Could be possible, though... http://genetics.thetech.org/ask/ask59

My dad has brown eyes and my mom has blue eyes. I also have blue eyes, as does another of my sisters. The middle sister has hazel eyes.

wandajune6 · June 2014

sarahufl said:

NikkiJay3333 said:

@sarahufl I wish I was kidding. She said it was just too good of a deal to pass up. I love my FMIL, but she can get overly excited about anything to do with my relationship with her son.

That is crazy that your FMIL bought you an engagement gift because she thought you might get engaged eventually. You are probably right about the piles of baby gifts stashed somewhere. At least your FFIL has some sense to try to stop her for somethings?

SITB.

Especially with strollers, car seats, cribs, etc- who knows if there will be safety recalls by the time you have the chance to use it?! Then at that point, it isn't a good deal because it becomes useless!

The lace is (as far as I know) the only thing FFIL has talked her out of and it was honestly because, hi, a thousand dollars? Luckily they already have six grandchildren so they have the decency to not say anything to us about it.

We were talking once about babies (in a very abstract sense) - I have dark brown eyes and FI has bright blue ones. When we first met, I got really drunk and told him I have always wanted kids with blue eyes and he teases me because the likelihood is low. When he said "we will not have babies with blue eyes!" FMIL started sobbing because he mentioned having babies. We were all kind of stunned because it was so clearly a silly conversation. And she just kept sobbing saying she was so happy we were having babies.....

Everyone in my family loves FI. I should lead with that. But I'm a redhead with blue eyes and come from a family of redheads. My twin and BIL have a redheaded, blue eyed toddler. We keep getting comments about having redheaded babies soon.

Ummm.... not gonna happen. FI's dad had blue eyes but none of his kids did. FI's entire family looks the same- dark brown/black hair, caramel-y complexions, and the same cheek bones. FI's nieces and nephews all have the same look. Genetics mean that the kid will look just like him and not at all like me.

I just hope s/he has my pancreas and detached earlobes.

beethery · June 2014

shrekspeare said:

FILs try to get into it with me all the time. Mostly about liberals and how, 'the homosexuals are ruining this great country!'. I have started to completely avoid going over to their house. They decided to ask me the other day how if being gay was a genetic thing, how that gene gets passed on because it's completely impossible for GSM couples to reproduce. Oh. My. God. I can't even wrap my head around the shit they say half the time.

They're also preachy preachy. Over Father's Day, they invited the missionaries in to barbecue with us AT OUR HOUSE. Which, okay, I get. They're missionaries. They're far from home and get fed by every house they drop into. I don't mind having them over to feed them, that doesn't bother me at all. I do mind having them over when they think they're invited to preach. Nope. I will talk to you until you're blue in the face about your family, your hometown, your experiences in the state so far, but you keep that jesus stuff away from me.

They also use church as a bargaining chip. i.e. DH ran into car trouble again this weekend, and he needed a car to drive for a day, FFIL said they would be happy to lend us their car providing we attend church with them. DH politely declined and ended up taking my dad's.

BSC.

I don't know how I missed this before but it makes my head feel explodey. Missionaries need to cut the shit when they aren't invited over to preach. I'd get in trouble for being like 'shhhhhh no you need more fries, jesus wants you to have fries' and trying to shove them into their mouths.

The car/church trade is fucking crazy. Like... don't you find it disingenuous to your faith that you are wheedling someone who is not by letting them use your car? The fuck is that?!??!?!

lovesclimbing · June 2014

I love my inlaws, but my MIL says some funny stuff sometimes. I wouldn't really define this as "stupid crap" but I kind of looked weird at it. She commented on an FB photo we posted after getting engaged "Romeo and Juliet!!" I think she posted it because we were LD at the time and we only had about two days together. But still, I was thinking "Huh, didn't they kill themselves?!"

goldchocobo.defunct635829490514903826 · July 2014

lol my mother works in a factory. She is respectful that FI and I haven't "provided" her a grandchild (I'm their only hope, as my brother will likely not have a child, but hey, things change). Her male coworkers however, are fascinated that my uterus is now ready for babies. They talk to her about it more than she'd care to admit. She thinks it is hilarious the way these men are excited for my wedding AND possible babies. My wedding is bigger talk than the royal wedding at their (relatively small) factory. I used to work there so maybe that's part of it.

ohannabelle · July 2014

flantastic said:

beethery said:

shrekspeare said:

FILs try to get into it with me all the time. Mostly about liberals and how, 'the homosexuals are ruining this great country!'. I have started to completely avoid going over to their house. They decided to ask me the other day how if being gay was a genetic thing, how that gene gets passed on because it's completely impossible for GSM couples to reproduce. Oh. My. God. I can't even wrap my head around the shit they say half the time.

They're also preachy preachy. Over Father's Day, they invited the missionaries in to barbecue with us AT OUR HOUSE. Which, okay, I get. They're missionaries. They're far from home and get fed by every house they drop into. I don't mind having them over to feed them, that doesn't bother me at all. I do mind having them over when they think they're invited to preach. Nope. I will talk to you until you're blue in the face about your family, your hometown, your experiences in the state so far, but you keep that jesus stuff away from me.

They also use church as a bargaining chip. i.e. DH ran into car trouble again this weekend, and he needed a car to drive for a day, FFIL said they would be happy to lend us their car providing we attend church with them. DH politely declined and ended up taking my dad's.

BSC.

I don't know how I missed this before but it makes my head feel explodey. Missionaries need to cut the shit when they aren't invited over to preach. I'd get in trouble for being like 'shhhhhh no you need more fries, jesus wants you to have fries' and trying to shove them into their mouths.

The car/church trade is fucking crazy. Like... don't you find it disingenuous to your faith that you are wheedling someone who is not by letting them use your car? The fuck is that?!??!?!

Absolutely.

SITFB

But are there doughnuts after the service? That might sway me. I won't compromise my conscience for a car loan, but maybe if doughnuts were thrown in...

mrsmagicgeek · July 2014

sarahufl said:

cupcait927 said:

sarahufl said:

foundmymagicgeek said:

OP, if your FILs are within a 2 hour drive of NYC, they are not actually in Upstate New York.

Signed,
Someone who lives actual upstate NY

SITB...

Lol, guilty as charged. They live outside Poughkeepsie. Is that considered upstate? FI actually refers to northern Westchester as upstate, so I take my cues from him!

From another upstate NY-er, Poughkeepsie is definitely downstate

Where is the line drawn?

The parts that the Uber-conservatives in this area would gladly chop off are known as downstate. Everything else is upstate.

Seriously though, I think it's basically anything south of Albany is downstate. That's how we refer to it here anyway, in the lint of the navel of central NY

alpacalunch · July 2014

I really truly enjoy how this thread has fractured off into several sub-threads.

Also, in Toronto we can get the Western New York TV stations. You guys have the best ads for both lawyers and used car sales.

beethery · July 2014

ohannabelle said:
But are there doughnuts after the service? That might sway me. I won't compromise my conscience for a car loan, but maybe if doughnuts were thrown in...

Personally, I'd go buy my own donuts than have someone else's faith shoved down my throat with them.

cupcait927 · July 2014

chrisandcait said:

I really truly enjoy how this thread has fractured off into several sub-threads.

Also, in Toronto we can get the Western New York TV stations. You guys have the best ads for both lawyers and used car sales.

I'm sure the legend known as Billy Fucillo is included in those car sale ads!

mrsmagicgeek · July 2014

@sarahufl‌ I saw this image this morning and thought it might help you translate

ohannabelle · July 2014

beethery said:

ohannabelle said:
But are there doughnuts after the service? That might sway me. I won't compromise my conscience for a car loan, but maybe if doughnuts were thrown in...

Personally, I'd go buy my own donuts than have someone else's faith shoved down my throat with them.

Truth. A friend of mine once posted on FB that religion is like a penis. It's nice that you have one and you're happy with it, but don't pull it out and wave it around in public, don't try to shove it down anyone's throat, and you sure as hell better keep it away from my kids.

That pretty much sums it up for me.

beethery · July 2014

ohannabelle said:

beethery said:

ohannabelle said:
But are there doughnuts after the service? That might sway me. I won't compromise my conscience for a car loan, but maybe if doughnuts were thrown in...

Personally, I'd go buy my own donuts than have someone else's faith shoved down my throat with them.

Truth. A friend of mine once posted on FB that religion is like a penis. It's nice that you have one and you're happy with it, but don't pull it out and wave it around in public, don't try to shove it down anyone's throat, and you sure as hell better keep it away from my kids.

That pretty much sums it up for me.

This is one of my favorite things I've ever read

beethery · July 2014

shrekspeare said:
No donuts. Just knee buckling guilt and girls who think tanktops over white t-shirts are cute.

Solid nope and a fuck that.

goldchocobo.defunct635829490514903826 · July 2014

chrisandcait said:

I really truly enjoy how this thread has fractured off into several sub-threads.

Also, in Toronto we can get the Western New York TV stations. You guys have the best ads for both lawyers and used car sales.

I'd call William Mattar if I was ever hurt in a car! LOL

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