I’ve never posted before, and I mean anywhere ever, but I’m on the verge of tears so here it goes. I’m getting married to my best friend and I can’t deal with my mother any more. As a back story, my parents met in High School and married a few years after graduating. After 14 years of marriage, they finally divorced and it destroyed my family, the best explanation for the divorce was that my mom gave up and decided she was going to make herself happy. She then married an Army pilot who is complete Alpha male, he has been married 3 times and I know he has made her cry.
My story is this: I met my fiancé on Facebook, where we lived 1000 miles apart before he moved closer. When we first met he was a student for graphic design and didn’t really have a job. 3 years later, he’s in the Army and has a good paying job and has grown up so much. I love him with everything I am and we work so well together. But I knew my mom didn’t really like him, she said she saw a lot of herself in me and a lot of my dad in him. She thinks that I’ll outgrow him and ‘outshine him’ and that we’ll repeat her marriage. She even tried to set me up with a couple pilots my step dad knows, while I’m still dating my fiancé! My suspicion is that she doesn’t approve because he’s too much like my dad and not like my step dad. I told her I understand her concerns, but that my fiancé is the man I chose. The night we got engaged she was one the first people I called, and this is what she said, “Oh, I was afraid of this.” She came back later saying she meant ‘I knew this was coming’, but the damage is already done.
A couple months ago, my fiancé and I had a hiccup, and paused the wedding plans. We did couples counseling and now we have nothing holding us back. All of our friends and families are so happy for us and tell us that we’re great together, except one person. My mother now can’t stand him, saying that ‘He made my baby cry’. She won’t even look at him and makes her feelings known. It is breaking my heart to not have my mothers support. I don’t know what to do, am I really forced to choose between my future husband and my mother?