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a nervous bride.

jenilafurjenilafur member
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in Wedding 911


I am less than a week away from my big day... All my happiness and excitement about my vacation and wedding have quickly faded into panic... I am a VERY nervous, anxious person.. I hate being the center of attention, and I am constantly worrying what people think of me and anticipating me screwing up.. I stress over every little detail.... I am getting married in Vegas, thankfully with only a few people in attendance, but that does nothing to calm my nerves.
I wouldn't say that i'm nervous about getting married, per say, just nervous about the process.. I wish I could skip right to the part where we are husband and wife.
I love my fiancee, and I am going to try to focus on him during the ceremony, but does anyone have any tips on how to keep calm before and during the ceremony?


At this point, Ill take any advice!
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Re: a nervous bride.

  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    It helps that you are only having a few people. I think the more time you spend relaxing this week, the easier it will be for you. Try to book a massage if you can!
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Repeat to yourself this magic phrase: "There is no such thing as a perfect wedding."  Click you heels three times.
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  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    I guarantee you that no one attending your wedding is going to be looking for you to screw up. As long as you walk away from the ceremony married, you did not screw up. I presume you invited these people because you love them and they love you. Focus on the positive, focus on the positive, focus on the positive.
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  • tammym1001tammym1001 member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    I was very nervous about standing up in front of everyone and saying my vows and worried about messing up. We only had 35 people at our wedding and I was still nervous. I will say when the time came I don't even remember seeing anyone that was there. It was like I had tunnel vision and it seemed like me and DH were the only people there. It won't be as hard as you think it will. You will only be focused on getting married and nothing else will matter. I never even heard the musicians playing because my brain was seriously just focused on DH.
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  • loveislouderloveislouder member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    The way I look at it, the only way someone will know your wedding didn't go perfectly according to plan is if you tell them.
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  • jules3964jules3964 member
    First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    This is exactly how I feel! And we are having a small wedding of 50 guests. I hate being the center of attention and I worry about tripping/falling or something else going wrong. 

    I'm just going to try to focus on FI, and how happy we are to be getting married, and forget about everyone else. Hopefully it will work out!
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  • atlastmrsgatlastmrsg member
    5 Love Its First Comment First Anniversary Name Dropper
    Have a glass of champagne or two and try to enjoy it.  It'll go really fast.  I barely remember my wedding, and I didn't have time to drink.  By the time you do the ceremony, eat, toast, take pictures...etc...the day will fly by.
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  • larrygagalarrygaga member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    When you start walking down the isle, just stare at your FI. Not that I need to tell you that, you'll do it anyway!

    I'm sure being around him makes you calmer, so just focus on him. 
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  • slothiegalslothiegal member
    First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited July 2014
    As a fellow nervous-by-nature bride getting married in "omg-only-HOW-many?" days, just wanted to offer some love and support.  I also wanted to show what Momma Slothie gave me when I started wedding planning...I hung up in our living room above our "wedding corner" (aka that black hole in our house where all things wedding related things migrate to) and look at it every now and then to keep it all in perspective.  

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    Good luck and let us know how it goes!!

    ETA a word
    Anniversary

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  • StitelMEStitelME member
    5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    I feel for you. I'm about three weeks out myself. Of course, a big part of my nerves have to do with money but that's a discussion for another post. Whenever I start to get stressed, my FI pours me a glass of wine and we cuddle on the couch and just sit quietly for a little while. Gotta find those small pockets of serenity and force yourself to take the time for them.

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  • princessleia22princessleia22 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment First Answer
    edited July 2014

    Everything will go however it's meant to go. I also hate crowds and had only 25 guests at my wedding. The night before the wedding, I just told myself to relax, there's nothing more that I can do or plan, and I REALLY just let it all go. But I got accepted that I did all I could and it was time to just live the day and enjoy it. Whenever I get overwhelmed I try to stop and remind myself that I can only to what I can do, figure out my priorities, figure out what is absolutely critical and what isn't, and just force myself to not stress over the rest of it. It's amazing what can happen when you give yourself permission to let things go... I mean, really, physically, even out loud, tell yourself that it is really okay to just let it go.  Sometimes your brain won't listen to it until you actually say it.

    A lot of the little details we stress over, aren't really critical. There are very few things that are absolutely needed for a wedding. Jewelry, flowers, etc. aren't required and you can still have a beautiful wedding without them.  And you probably wouldn't even notice they were missing on your wedding day.  Like others have said, you do tend to get tunnel vision during the ceremony. I couldn't tell you many details about my ceremony besides the look on my husbands face.  That moment was about us, not our guests, not about the decorations or anything else. All the stress seems to fall away and you just are there in that moment with him. Even when things went wrong we just laughed and moved on, because it was just us, so it didn't matter what others thought. Like, we both forgot to bring our vows with us... luckily minister had a copy of them. Or when we had trouble with the rings because it was hot & humid and our fingers swelled. Or at the reception, we seriously botched our dance.  We had taken lessons and had the whole thing choreographed, but his shoes were sticking to the floor and he stepped on my dress a few time, but we just kept moving, missed a few steps, added a few extras, and nobody knew it was wrong except us.  But, it had us cracking up with laughter during our dance, so everyone thought we were having a lot of fun and it created some great photos. The photos wouldn't have been nearly as good if we had done everything right, and those ones turned out to be some of our favorites from the whole day. So, just let the stress go, and remember that when you get there nobody and nothing really will matter except the two of you. And if things go wrong, just keep going and make the best of them.

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