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Moms and Maids

Bachelorette Party Advice Please!

Hello all, I am a Matron of Honor at a good friends wedding coming up in May. In thinking about all of my duties the one thing that is bothering me is the planning of the Bachelorette party. She's going for a classy approach at the princess/disney theme, so I know I want us in the bridal party to dress up like modern princesses and go out to eat and I know the bride would enjoy going dancing. The issue here is that my Bride is sober and does not drink. I'm worried about taking her out to go dancing because all the places I know of to go dancing that have a good "club" vibe, are centered around alcohol. Does anyone have any suggestions on how I can modify this or if you are in the MA area do you know a place thats less focused on alcohol. I want everyone to have a good time and not have to worry about the drunk people stumbling around them. HELP! Please and thank you! 

Re: Bachelorette Party Advice Please!

  • Hello all, I am a Matron of Honor at a good friends wedding coming up in May. In thinking about all of my duties the one thing that is bothering me is the planning of the Bachelorette party. She's going for a classy approach at the princess/disney theme, so I know I want us in the bridal party to dress up like modern princesses and go out to eat and I know the bride would enjoy going dancing. The issue here is that my Bride is sober and does not drink. I'm worried about taking her out to go dancing because all the places I know of to go dancing that have a good "club" vibe, are centered around alcohol. Does anyone have any suggestions on how I can modify this or if you are in the MA area do you know a place thats less focused on alcohol. I want everyone to have a good time and not have to worry about the drunk people stumbling around them. HELP! Please and thank you! 
    A bachelorette party is thrown in honor of the bride - not her friends. I would not do a "club" atmosphere if the bride wouldn't like it. Of course there are bachelorette parties that are geared towards the party girl, but it sounds like that's not her. There are lots of other options that don't involve drinking: pedicures, tubing/floating down a river, going to the beach, going to a show, going zip lining, going to some local event/festival, going to a cider mill/apple picking/pumpkin patch, etc... all of these things could be done in conjunction with lunch or dinner - at which the friends can order drinks if they want to.

    A couple of things about your post though - it's not your "duty" to throw a bach. If you want to throw one you can OFFER (the bride can always decline and say she doesn't want one). And very few adult women will want to dress up like "modern princesses" for this. I would not do this. I'm invited to a bach next month and the MOH told everyone what the "dress code" is... every single girl is talking behind her back about how stupid it is and how no one wants to do it (I don't know her well enough or I'd tell her how juvenile it is). 
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    OliveOilsMomMairePoppy
  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom South Jersey member
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Can't you ask the bride for what she envisions for her b-party?  If what the bride wants is within budget, then I would just do that.  My friends asked me what I wanted to a b-party and they then planned the perfect party for me.  I was also recently a BM and we also asked teh bride what she wanted for a b-party.
  • When you say in the MA area what area of MA are you talking about? I'm in western MA and there is plenty of nightlife here that doesn't necessarily have to center around drinking. Most of my sisters friends aren't 21 yet so we are all getting together and doing hibachi in a few weeks. You can go to a club and dance and not drink. There are plenty of fun bars in Hartford and Northampton that have music or DJs. You could also go to Foxwoods or Mohegan, have dinner there then hit up the clubs

    And ditto PPs. Ditch the modern princesses theme. I would show up in my regular going out clothes
  • speakeasy14speakeasy14 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited July 2014
    "Modern Princess Theme" what does that mean?  If you mean pampering and feeling beautiful, then I suggest doing a spa day for the bachelorette party.  I just hosted one for my sister, and everyone loved getting pampered. 

    I would also talk with the bride and see what she would like to do.  Every wedding I have been in, the bridesmaids asked the bride what she would like to do and the planned based off that information.  

    Bachelorette parties do not need to be themed.  Majority of women hate wearing those matching outfits or being told they have to dress a certain way.  All you need to do is let those invited know where you're going and they will dress accordingly.  The only time a dress code should be issued is if the location has a dress code (many bars/clubs/country clubs will not allow veils, bachelorette gear, or sandals, so that should be noted in advance).  
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  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    I'd ditch the princess theme with dress code. Grown women shouldn't be told what to wear for a night out.

    I ditto Foxwoods or Mohegan Sun Casino. They are one stop events. If you want to make it an overnight bp, there are fabulous hotels at each casino - Fox Towers has an outdoor pool, hot tub with cabana and food and beverage service (a la old Hollywood) and there is a fancy schmancy bowling alley, in addition to the casinos. IMO, Mohegan Sun has a better selection of restaurants and shopping. MS also has weekly rooftop parties with fireworks for the summer. Check out the websites. If anyone in your party has a membership card to either of the casinos, she may be able to get a great discount on a hotel room. 

    P.S. I won about $1300 at Foxwoods yesterday, so I'm partial to the casinos.
                       
    MobKazOliveOilsMomAddieCake
  • lc07lc07 Sunny Southern California member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    What about a dance lesson or class? 
    MairePoppy
  • I think it's important that you pick her mind and see what she would like to do. My bridal party initially wanted to go the club route, even though I told them it wasn't my scene. They ended up taking me to a nice wine loft, which was intimate and had a dj. Everyone had a great time and they took into consideration what I would like. I loved it! There are a lot of things that can be done as folks mentioned  before. And as PPs stated, I wouldn't do the princess dress code.
  • atlastmrsgatlastmrsg member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited July 2014
    Is there a winery/estate/venue with a nice restaurant inside that looks like a castle?  A really nice dinner there reads more "adult pampered princess."  There's no way I'd go out in a princess outfit.  I'm 30, which is about 20 years too old for that.  Well, okay, maybe in college I'd have gone out as slutty Disney princess on Halloween, but that's more like this:

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    If the bride is sober, she's used to declining alcohol.  I don't think you have to avoid places where alcohol is present.  Heck, if she goes to O'Charley's to eat, she probably has politely declined when the waiter says it's happy hour and they have 1/2 price margaritas.  Just don't buy rounds of drinks or shots where it's emphasized that she's the odd man out.

    Here's an article about real castles in Massachusetts.  Read, select a castle with good food, or maybe a really luxe picnic on castle grounds if she'd be into that?  Get a caterer/tea shop to make lots of dainties and pack it up pretty.


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  • sarahuflsarahufl New York member
    Tenth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    I can't get past the modern princess theme. No way I would comply with that.
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