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My first RSVP "issue" & it is sort of my fault!

So, we can have a maximum of 200 people (comfortably) at our venue.  When making the guest list, we factored in most everyone having a guest/+1, just so we would have a small cushion on our numbers.  My fiance is inviting almost all of his coworkers, though, & it is a pretty big group.  Most of them are married, with a few singles.  

A couple of weeks ago, I was working on our invite spreadsheet, and one coworker was over at our house.  He is single, lets call him "Steve".  I thought it would be a good opportunity to drop a hint that we may not be giving +1's to the singles, without coming right out and saying "We are only inviting you - you can't bring a date".  So, the three of us (myself, FI & Steve) had the following conversation:

Me: Hey, baby - do you know if *other single coworker* has a girlfriend?
FI:  No, I don't think so.
Steve:  No, they broke up.
Me:  Oh, ok.  What about *other single coworker*?  Is she still dating that guy?
Steve:  No, he moved away.
Me:  Do you think they'll be ok if we invite them without a +1?  
Steve: Oh, yeah, they'll be fine!  Everyone else from the office will be there!
FI:  Yeah, they'll be fine, no big deal.
Me:  Hey, Steve - you're single, right?
Steve: Yup.

Fast forward to last nite.  Our invites have been sent out and we've started getting RSVP's back.  Steve (and others) were invited without +1's.  Steve is at our house, and the following conversation takes place:

Steve:  Hey - Pineapple - I got your wedding invitation!  They are beautiful!!!  I haven't sent my RSVP back yet tho.
Me:  I know, I haven't gotten it yet :)
Steve:  Yeah, I can't really send it back yet.  I just don't know who I'm going to bring.  But I'll get it to you.


So....yeah.  I know I should have said "oh, I'm sorry if there is a misunderstanding, but the invitation is only for you..blah blah", but i just couldn't.  We have the space, one more person won't kill us.  I just can't believe this happened with him, of all people.  

I guess there isn't really a point in me posting this.  Just wanted to share . It happens.

Re: My first RSVP "issue" & it is sort of my fault!

  • it sucks, but it happens. You can either make the exception...but then you will have to make the exception for every single who asks to bring the +1.  Or, just say sorry Steve, our venue can only hold so many people and our guest list is maxed out so single guests were not extended the +1. 

    You did nothing wrong. You addressed it to him. He misunderstood.  If this is Fiance's co worker/friend, I would have him tell Steve about the misunderstanding.  It is an easy mis-understanding but It baffles me how many people think they can just add people to an invitation. Good Luck!
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  • @erinlin25  thanks for your reply :)  It won't kill us to have one extra person... I just can't believe that it happened with him, after HE was the one present for that conversation!! Baffled is a good word for it. 
  • It might not put you over capacity, but it might cause hurt feelings/annoyance among the people who weren't given +1s and followed the rules. If the other coworkers are coming solo, I would have your FI tell him he's sorry but the invite was just for Steve.
    True.  We probably/hopefully will end up with room to let all of them (I think there are 3 singles in that group) bring a date if they'd like, so maybe we can avoid any hurt feelings.  
  • It might not put you over capacity, but it might cause hurt feelings/annoyance among the people who weren't given +1s and followed the rules. If the other coworkers are coming solo, I would have your FI tell him he's sorry but the invite was just for Steve.
    True.  We probably/hopefully will end up with room to let all of them (I think there are 3 singles in that group) bring a date if they'd like, so maybe we can avoid any hurt feelings.  
    You could tell him that. "We don't have the room for singles to bring dates, but if enough room opens up we'll let you all know." Then it's all or nothing. This isn't considered B-listing.

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  • i like you @lolo8383 :)
    Aw thanks, I like you too! :)

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  • beetherybeethery So sayeth the fuckin' Pope. member
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    Seriously Pineapple, between you and @lurkergirl I am (mostly) pleased with the newer posters this week.
    --

    I'm the fuck out.

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  • lurkergirllurkergirl ATL member
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    beethery said:
    Seriously Pineapple, between you and @lurkergirl I am (mostly) pleased with the newer posters this week.
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  • @wrongsideoftheocean‌ too. Keep it up, newbs!

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