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Wedding didn't go as planned...having a hard time accepting it

Cinnamon4Cinnamon4 member
First Comment First Anniversary
in Wedding Woes

I just got married almost 2 weeks ago.  We did a mostly DIY wedding with some outside help.  We hired a caterer that delivered dinner to our outdoor backyard wedding, a cake, had a photographer for 4 hours and an officiate.  Everything else including flowers, hair, makeup, appetizers music, decor, MC’ing, videography, etc., we did ourselves or had family help out.

The day of the wedding, my father and brother were videoing.  I think they got most of the ceremony and dinner.  My husband had his own video camera which he said he was going to put on a tripod or just on the table while the wedding was going on.  Unfortunately, when it was needed most, it failed!  I did a “surprise dance performance” for my new husband when the party started and before I came out, I expected my husband’s video camera to be rolling.   He knew about the performance but didn’t know the song or the dance.  He said he would have it ready when I came out.  Well, the camera ran out of memory and the performance that I had been working on for months almost every day wasn’t captured!  My dad and brother weren’t prepared for the surprise and didn’t have their cameras with them.  My dad keeps asking me why I didn’t tell him about it or he would have taped it and I just say that it was a surprise and that nobody was supposed to know besides the organizers (my husband, maid of honor and the best man) but now I see that I made a mistake.

I did a do over performance a couple of days later to my husband in the same room I did it in originally in the same outfit.  He videotaped me but it ‘s not the same…no audience and not the surprised look on my husband’s face when I got him to join me on the dance floor mid-song.  I’m having a hard time accepting this out of all the things that didn’t go as planned that day of which there were several!  To combat this, I’m thinking of doing a repeat performance, perhaps at my baby shower coming up soon (I’m 7 months pregnant!) or our 1 year anniversary.  But I’m not sure if my guests would want to see that again.  The dance was just for my husband and was my special dedication to him on my wedding day.

Anybody else have any wedding flops to make me feel better about this flub?  What are your wedding blunder/disaster stories?  I’m having a hard time accepting what happened…

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Re: Wedding didn't go as planned...having a hard time accepting it

  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its

    I'm sorry to hear about what happened.  I know I would be disappointed also that this special moment was not captured on video...but this doesn't make the moment any less special or heartfelt for the two of you.  You really need to let this go.  What happened, happened.  It's fresh disappointment now, but In the grand scheme of things, this was not an integral part of the day.  You and your DH were married...the MOST important thing to happen went well :)...the special performance went well even if it wasn't videotaped, and it sounds like the reception also went well overall (even though you alluded to some other disappointments).

    Weddings are often major, complicated events thrown by people who do not normally throw major, complicated events.  There are a lot of pieces involved...some of which we don't have control over...and I'd hazard to guess it is the rare wedding where everythng goes perfectly.

    For example, there are few things I'd "always" pictured about wedding, but one of them was my hair.  I have beautiful (if I do say so myself, lol), very long, luxurious hair.    

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  • NOLABridesmaidNOLABridesmaid member
    First Answer 5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper

    I completely understand that you're disappointed that your special dance wasn't recorded, but it sounds like it was a hit with your husband and guests. I know that people feel like every memory has to be recorded, but it is something you will remember as well as your husband.

    I'm sure your photographer caught some shots of it, so try not to be so sad about it.

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  • 6fsn6fsn member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker

    I'm sad it wasn't recorded too, because I'm very curious.

    Memories can be just as good as a video.

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  • NOLABridesmaidNOLABridesmaid member
    First Answer 5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    6, I admit that is my traveling pet peeve. Why not take a few minutes to look at that great view, you're trampling people to take a pic of? Yes, I like taking pictures, but I also like spending some time taking in the sights without feeling the need to snaps 20 shots of it.
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  • 6fsn6fsn member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    AGREED!  I wish MIL would leave the camera behind sometimes and PLAY with the kids.
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  • Cinnamon4Cinnamon4 member
    First Comment First Anniversary
    Thanks for the encouraging words everyone.  Yes, I realized from my own wedding and through speaking to others that weddings are one complicated affair and there are so many things that could potentially go wrong that you really can't expect perfection.  We did our best and we keep reminding ourselves that.

    I remember how I felt when I was up there dancing for him and with him...and he remembers too so that should be the important thing, right?  I could do a do over any time anyway, if I want and it'll be just as special every time because the sentiment will always be behind it.  To answer your question 6fsn, I did a performance to Paul Anka's "L.O.V.E"  and I dance salsa/latin jazz so it was in that style.  My husband loved it and called me his "showgirl." :)
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    First Comment
    It sounds like it was just the surprise dance and it not being videotaped that didn't go as planned, hopefully the ceremony did. If it makes you feel better, my husband wanted to do the video on his tripod as well, and his mom decided not to be in her seat during the ceremony, and got up and stood in the aisle taking photos, so none of our ceremony was captured. When she got up to get her camera she put her armpit in the camera as well, so we have that special memory. This was one of many hiccups on my wedding day! 
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  • danamwdanamw member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    It is even better than video, as our memories remember events as being better than a video camera catches it. We only remember the good things. Video cameras have no feeling or emotion, and only people's minds and hearts can capture an event the way it really was, feelings and all.
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  • Vivandiere8Vivandiere8 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    I find that if I re told my wedding from one point of view I could make it sound like so many things went wrong, and the memories were ruined. Or I can tell it from my actual point of view and it would sound like the wedding of the year that no other wedding could top!
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