this is the code for the render ad
Chit Chat

NWR: What To do?

So my H, for my birthday, bought us some tickets to a game in a town where a good friend of mine lives.  He worked it out with her where she'd go with us and we could crash at her place.   Great stuff.   Problem, i'm not exactly thrilled about going.    Due to our crazy schedules this past summer we have not been home more than one weekend.   The weekend he booked the trip for would've been the first weekend we'd be home - no plans.   Plus, due to a lot of expenses this summer, we're low on cash.  We could still have a great weekend but it means we wouldn't be saving as much for that month as I'd like, plus I really could care less about the game outside of sharing it with H and friend.  

We had talked about going to the town as it's a big city and has a lot to offer and I think, if it wasn't right after the crazy summer we have had I'd be thrilled to go but right now I just want to stay home, put our place (that's a complete mess) to rights and get things in order (physically, mentally, and economically).

My problem is this:   This was his birthday gift to me - I feel bad basically saying thanks for the gift, but I'd rather we save the money (I've said this but he's shown that we can in fact afford it).   So my next step is:  Do I suck it up, take it as the gesture it was, drink a few red bulls and just look forward to the next free weekend we have or do I tell him I'd rather we cancel the plans and stay home, potentially making him feel like his big surprise, was well, a big dud?

Re: NWR: What To do?

  • I'd suck it up and go. I'd make him feel like it was a wonderful gift then tell him on the way home how much you'd love a quiet weekend at home with him.
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • Ditto PP.  You never know.  You might wind up having a great time.  I wouldn't have the heart to cancel plans H worked on.
    Pregnancy Ticker
  • LakeR2014 said:
    So my H, for my birthday, bought us some tickets to a game in a town where a good friend of mine lives.  He worked it out with her where she'd go with us and we could crash at her place.   Great stuff.   Problem, i'm not exactly thrilled about going.    Due to our crazy schedules this past summer we have not been home more than one weekend.   The weekend he booked the trip for would've been the first weekend we'd be home - no plans.   Plus, due to a lot of expenses this summer, we're low on cash.  We could still have a great weekend but it means we wouldn't be saving as much for that month as I'd like, plus I really could care less about the game outside of sharing it with H and friend.  

    We had talked about going to the town as it's a big city and has a lot to offer and I think, if it wasn't right after the crazy summer we have had I'd be thrilled to go but right now I just want to stay home, put our place (that's a complete mess) to rights and get things in order (physically, mentally, and economically).

    My problem is this:   This was his birthday gift to me - I feel bad basically saying thanks for the gift, but I'd rather we save the money (I've said this but he's shown that we can in fact afford it).   So my next step is:  Do I suck it up, take it as the gesture it was, drink a few red bulls and just look forward to the next free weekend we have or do I tell him I'd rather we cancel the plans and stay home, potentially making him feel like his big surprise, was well, a big dud?
    Yes, do this. Focus on the thought he put into your gift, and having a great time with him and your friend, not on the alone time you're losing.  Look forward to the next quiet weekend and make sure you block off that weekend for some special time with just the 2 of you.  But don't make him feel bad about his gift.

    And have fun!!!!
  • You guys are right - I guess my hiccup with it and even thinking about canceling it - is because none of it is really something I'm looking forward to.  He mentioned wanting to go to the game as an experience he wanted to do and I said that'd be fun to do with him, same with checking out the city my friend lives in, he wanted to experience the city.  Both would be fun, but I guess I sorta feel like they were things he wanted to do but because my friend lives there (and I love her dearly) he made it a birthday present for me.   He brought the ideas up to me as things he'd like to do and I said would be fun to do with him, but weren't necessarily things I wanted to do, know what I mean?

    All that being said I know he tried and I will really enjoy seeing my friend and the city.
  • LakeR2014 said:
    You guys are right - I guess my hiccup with it and even thinking about canceling it - is because none of it is really something I'm looking forward to.  He mentioned wanting to go to the game as an experience he wanted to do and I said that'd be fun to do with him, same with checking out the city my friend lives in, he wanted to experience the city.  Both would be fun, but I guess I sorta feel like they were things he wanted to do but because my friend lives there (and I love her dearly) he made it a birthday present for me.   He brought the ideas up to me as things he'd like to do and I said would be fun to do with him, but weren't necessarily things I wanted to do, know what I mean?

    All that being said I know he tried and I will really enjoy seeing my friend and the city.
    I know how that feels... last year FI told me he was going to take me to Naples for my birthday... and to stay with his best friend who lives there whom I'd only met once or twice. Womp womp. We ended up making a big road trip out of it though and it was an amazing time. And  he still ended up getting me a boxed gift and throwing me a surprise party anyway.

    Even if it's something he wants to do, you did say you thought it would be fun, too. It's not like he's planning to take you to something you've made clear that you hate. Suck it up, hope for the best, and try to give him the benefit of the doubt that he's trying to do something to make you happy, even if he somewhat missed the mark. 

    image
    image
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards