Before I start, I want to say that I am extremely grateful to both my mom and FMIL (and dad and FFIL but they are basically not involved in this) because they are both contributing extremely generous amounts of money to FI and I for our wedding. I know that they get a say in the guest list, but I don't know where to draw the line here.
FMIL is Korean, and the community in my city is pretty large and very close-knit. So FMIL has her list of people she wants to invite. Totally fine with it. However, trying to get names and addresses and just a general number has been like pulling teeth. First it was 10, then it was 20 - and now I finally got the list with names (like 2 weeks before I am trying to send out invitations). And there are 28 people on there. *headdesk* I have a freakout because that puts us over the number we had budgeted for (not over venue capacity, though), and FI says "it's ok, 3/4 of them are definitely not coming." ARGH THEN WHY ARE WE SENDING THEM INVITATIONS? Apparently because it's a courtesy and FMIL doesn't want to slight/offend anyone.
Then my mom, who I've talked to multiple times about having the guestlist finalized, keeps adding people. Her most recent additions are my uncle's second wife's adult children - I have not seen these people for probably a decade and could count on one hand how many times I've actually seen them. When we were first putting the guestlist together, she said we were not going to invite them. I have no idea what changed. She already invited one guy's wife to my shower, so I am stuck. This is also adding to the surplus of people over our outlined budget. Luckily we have reached the point where we literally have no more invitations so I guess no one else can be added.
I am just so frustrated because I know that whoever pays has a say, but this is getting ridiculous. FI and I cut friends and coworkers from our initial guestlist to stay under budget while keeping parents' friends, so I don't know what to do if we end up over our budget. =/
Argh I cannot wait until this is over.
Edit: Argh TK ate my paragraphs