So I know that I have a lot of time before I need to worry about this, but just a little background on where I'm at now. My sister is my MOH, that's a given, we are very close and even though we don't always get along and see eye-to-eye, I couldn't imagine anyone else in that role. I made sure that she was ok with that role as soon as we set a date. I did ask my best girl friend, whom I've known for over 7 years. The only reason why I asked her is because of her financial situation. She knows that FI and I are willing to help if anything I chose is out of her budget, but obviously we can't afford to do everything seeing as how we are paying for the wedding ourselves. She appreciated the heads up.
Now today, FI and I were chit-chatting about how I might want more BMs to even out with his GM. His GM are his best friends from high school and there was no question that they wouldn't be involved in the bridal party. My FMIL heard us talking and she asked if I asked FIs sister, her daughter. I said no with the deer in head-lights look. She seemed to be upset that I hadn't asked her and thinks that I should extend the offer. She thinks that her daughter will decline if she doesn't want to do it; whereas FI apparently talked to his sister about the possibility of her wanting to be in the bridal party and she basically said that she would feel obligated to say yes if I asked her to be a BM, even though she wouldn't really want to be one.
To make matters worse, my parents also believe that siblings of each others should be in the bridal party. They agree that his sister should be asked, but she doesn't want to be in bridal party. My parents think that its rude that she said that to my FI and they feel that she should be honored to be asked.
What's the "etiquette" here? I'm so confused and so torn about it. I thought it was up to me who I wanted to be a BM, just as he would be able to chose his GM.
Sorry if this was song long!