The Dress: What now?

Kauris · October 2014

What are you doing with your dresses or what did you do with them?

I just got mine back from the cleaners and I was thinking of donating it. A friend is using my veil and then I'm keeping that, but have am torn about what I'm going to do with the dress.

theartistformerlyknownas · October 2014

Ugh. I have no idea. Mine isn't even cleaned yet, it's just spread across the spare bed in the bag it came in. I haven't had the cash lying around to have it cleaned and repaired. (one lace seam busted open and the edge of the trim at the top came loose)

I'd like to keep it in some form... but I don't have any delusions that someone in the future will want to wear it or be close enough to my size to be feasible. I'm thinking about chopping off the bottom to make a cocktail dress (it's a mermaid so it would be a cute sheath dress), then using the bottom fabric to make something else. Christening gown? Christmas tree skirt? Use the satin sash to edge a baby blanket? IDK. So for now... it sits.

I plan to keep the handmade veil and my second, fancier sash. Hoping someone will want to borrow those.

novella1186 · October 2014

I will say it was really awesome when I got to try on my mom's wedding dress, because she'd had it preserved and saved it for all these years. But I will also say that it was from 1983 and there's no way I'm wearing it for my wedding.

If you're sentimental and like family history-type stuff, preserve it, cuz you never known. If you don't feel like wasting space trying to store it, there's different charities you can donate it to, you could sell it, or you can cut it up and have it made into other things, as lolo suggested.

amelisha · October 2014

My girlfriends and I have been planning a night where we go bar hopping in our dresses, but I'm the youngest and last to be married so I think we'll do it pretty soon after my wedding.

If it's still in good enough shape to be cleaned after that, I'll have it cleaned and repaired and donate it. Not a sentimental bone in my body so there's no point.

raissyrais · October 2014

amelisha said:

My girlfriends and I have been planning a night where we go bar hopping in our dresses, but I'm the youngest and last to be married so I think we'll do it pretty soon after my wedding.

If it's still in good enough shape to be cleaned after that, I'll have it cleaned and repaired and donate it. Not a sentimental bone in my body so there's no point.

It's what I plan on doing too. I'm selling it for charity.

jenna8984 · October 2014

I haven't cleaned mine yet (its been 6 weeks). I'm very sentimental so while I had no illusions of a daughter ever wearing it...I do have secret illusions of myself wearing it for a 10th anniversary renewal or something like that. Highly doubt it will fit after children but whatever I'm going to dream big hahah

Bubblegum5586 · October 2014

I had mine preserved (per my mothers request) it came back on a bust form in a window box. I gasped when I recieved it because I didn't realize how beautiful it would look!

But it sits in the box it was shipped in, in my closet... I love it so much and as @jenna8984 said above I do dream of wearing it again someday....

cupcait927 · October 2014

I have zero ideas what to do with mine. It still needs to be cleaned but after that, who knows. I don't necessarily want to give it away, but at the same time, I don't think I'll ever do anything with it if I have it preserved. H was totally onboard with me selling it after the wedding, back before he had seen it, but after the wedding he told me I could never get rid of it because he loves the dress.

princessleia22 · October 2014

I had/still do plan to have it cleaned and try to sell it or donate it. As of right now, it's still hanging in my home office (4 months after wedding). I just haven't gotten around to getting it cleaned yet.

I don't see any point in having it take up space in my home forever when I won't wear it again and we don't plan to have kids to pass it on to. Although, DH absolutely loved the dress and it really was awesome on me, so there is a little twing of sadness over getting rid of it. But, I know it's pointless to keep it when I could let someone else benefit from it.

amelisha · October 2014

princessleia22 said:

I had/still do plan to have it cleaned and try to sell it or donate it. As of right now, it's still hanging in my home office (4 months after wedding). I just haven't gotten around to getting it cleaned yet.
I don't see any point in having it take up space in my home forever when I won't wear it again and we don't plan to have kids to pass it on to. Although, DH absolutely loved the dress and it really was awesome on me, so there is a little twing of sadness over getting rid of it. But, I know it's pointless to keep it when I could let someone else benefit from it.

I kinda figure that's what the photos are for, if someone is feeling nostalgic. But if you have room and think you might want to put it on every couple of years and twirl around in your living room for your husband, I don't think there's any reason you shouldn't keep it.

I have a colleague whose wife puts on her dress every year on their anniversary and they have a little photoshoot. He showed me some from this year (their 19th) where she's sitting on his motorcycle in her 1990s dress and it was fabulous and very fun. If that's the kind of thing you might get a kick out of I really thought it was a cute tradition (and a great way to keep an eye on your weight, lol.)

climbingsingle · October 2014

I haven't even cleaned mine yet. It's hanging in the guest bedroom. I definitely don't want to give it away. I joked with H that I want to put it on every year on our anniversary and go out for drinks.

chibiyui · October 2014

I want to do the pinterest thing and frame it, but that's going to have to wait for the new house, which is years down the road.

I still need to get it cleaned.

ShellD13 · October 2014

My dress was very simple chiffon so I was able to machine wash it on delicate but it's hanging in my closet. I think I'm going to ask my MIL, who is a seamstress, to remove the bottom and I'll make it into a cocktail dress.

Through an ordering mistake I ended up with a second wedding dress that was 1 size too large which I donated to www.bridesacrossamerica.com It's an organization I found online that collects newer (less than 5 years old), clean, gently used wedding gowns for donations to military brides across the US. It looks like it is organized like a giant trunk show - only the dresses are free to members of the military.

thisismynickname2 · October 2014

Mine is folded into a box right now, not cleaned, 6 weeks after the wedding. DH hasn't yet gotten his nice new suit cleaned either.

I was going to donate it but he doesn't want me to. It's not puffy or anything so I guess I'll just clean it and hang it in the closet.

I'd love to wear it every anniversary--- that photoshoot is a great idea! Hmmmm

JaxInBlue · October 2014

Mine is cleaned, boxed and stored, and has been since shortly after our wedding. Haven't really touched it since it came back from the cleaners but I'm fairly sentimental about it. Occasionally I think about having it cut to a cocktail dress but I don't really need one and the idea of a white cocktail dress (when usually the only thing I need a cocktail dress for is another wedding) feels kind of weird. So I'm keeping in the box until better inspiration strikes.

flyingfoxes · October 2014

I had two dresses that I'd collected before I decided on my final one, and I donated one to the military brides charity, and another to an organization who sells them cheap to brides who don't have a lot of money. I don't know what I'll do with my dress once I'm done with it - probably hang on to it for a few years then try to get rid of it, lol.

Peaseblossom55 · October 2014

I still haven't cleaned or done anything with my wedding dress. I want to get it preserved, and I went over to my dry cleaners today to find out the cost and of course they were randomly closed for an hour or two. I'll try back over the weekend.

Inkdancer · October 2014

I'm going to keep mine. I'm hoping to lose enough weight by our first anniversary that I can do a shoot to show the difference, then I'll pack it up for a future daughter to wear if she wants. It's a classic style, so maybe she'll want to wear it!

ohannabelle · October 2014

If you donate, ask good questions. Make sure it's an actual charity.

Early in the dress shopping process, we went to a sale held by a business called Brides for a Cause. (the actual licensed business name on file was something like Princess Bridals, or similar.) They go from city to city on the West Coast with huge truckloads of used dresses, charge shoppers admission fees (all for a good cause!) higher fees for early admissions. They even ask for volunteers (gets you early admission, and for a good cause!) to unload the trucks and set up the sale.

The story is, they help brides suffering from terminal illnesses to have beautiful weddings.

But they got kind of snappy with me when I asked questions- what percentage of sales are given, etc.

Well. I decided to play internet detective, turns out they're not a charity at all. They're a regular old retail business registered with the state as a business (not a charity.) They do seem to donate some dresses to a bigger legit charity, (big deal, dresses they got for free) but not obligated to disclose how often. Their tax information (public records) listed their income and net worth at several hundred thou a year.

While they didn't blatantly lie, it still felt sleazy. I felt they were not exactly lying, but definitely allowing people to think they were a charitable organization. It was strongly implied. I don't donate valuable items to resalers. I don't donate my time "volunteering" doing loading and set up for businesses.

And despite their claims that they only accepted gowns that had been dry cleaned and were wearable, we renamed the "event" Dirty Trains and Frosting Stains. And they kept trying to push Daughter into trying on things 4 times her size, even though the alterations would have driven the price up to that of a new gown.

It isn't exactly criminal. It is shady, and manipulative, and I doubt they'd have half the donations if people knew.

southernbelle0915 · October 2014

Mine hasn't been cleaned - over a year later.... It's been hanging up on a closet door in the library since the day after the wedding.

No idea what I'm going to do with it. I've thought about making it into baptism gowns for any possible/future/maybe children. We'll see.

On a side note, we found a wedding dress in the attic of our house. It was super small (like meant for someone under 5' tall and VERY petite) and really old looking. Definitely took the cake for the strangest thing we found in the house.

Aray82 · October 2014

My friend sold hers on ebay and while she said it was a PITA, she did make a nice chunk of change which she put toward a bed frame. Once I get it cleaned, I think that's what I'm going to try to do. I like the idea of it being put to use again.

plainjane0415 · October 2014

chibiyui said:

I want to do the pinterest thing and frame it, but that's going to have to wait for the new house, which is years down the road. I still need to get it cleaned.

I 100% plan on doing this. And if it has to sit preserved in a shadow box until we have a big enough closet to display it in, then so be it. I'm too sentimental to give it away or sell it.

Cookie Pusher · October 2014

My dresses are cleaned and hanging in my closet right now, but I plan on donating them. As neither are traditional wedding dresses, they'll likely go to one of the organizations that gives prom dresses to areas hit by natural disasters.

paperpusher · October 2014

I'm not sure yet. I have bitter sweet feelings about my whole wedding. Especially the dress and how I wound up with it even though I do really like it.
Secretly I'm sentimental and hope that if I ever have a girl she'd like to wear it. But DH and I don't even know if we want kids at this point.
And IDK if anyone would really want it since it's not traditional.
So for now, it sits in a garment bag in the upstairs closet.

raissyrais · October 2014

southernbelle0915 said:

Mine hasn't been cleaned - over a year later.... It's been hanging up on a closet door in the library since the day after the wedding.

No idea what I'm going to do with it. I've thought about making it into baptism gowns for any possible/future/maybe children. We'll see.

On a side note, we found a wedding dress in the attic of our house. It was super small (like meant for someone under 5' tall and VERY petite) and really old looking. Definitely took the cake for the strangest thing we found in the house.

Weird, do you have a pic of it? Might not be so weird actually since I'm 5' and very petite as well....

theartistformerlyknownas · October 2014

raissyrais said:

southernbelle0915 said:

Mine hasn't been cleaned - over a year later.... It's been hanging up on a closet door in the library since the day after the wedding.

No idea what I'm going to do with it. I've thought about making it into baptism gowns for any possible/future/maybe children. We'll see.

On a side note, we found a wedding dress in the attic of our house. It was super small (like meant for someone under 5' tall and VERY petite) and really old looking. Definitely took the cake for the strangest thing we found in the house.

Weird, do you have a pic of it? Might not be so weird actually since I'm 5' and very petite as well....

Could have also been a first communion dress. Some of the ones the girls wore at my nephew's first communion definitely cost more than my wedding dress.

Chipmunk415 · October 2014

Got my dress through Brides Against Breast Cancer. Married nearly 8 months, and I still haven't cleaned and pressed my gown- it's in an upstairs closet in its bag.

I will likely end up selling or donating it, but it's so pretty and I still like opening the bag to look at it. Maybe at the 2 year anniversary, though I like Climbing's idea about wearing it for anniversaries- DH was able to buy a tux for much less than the cost of renting one, so we could both wear our wedding outfits.

JennyColada · October 2014

I'm so tiny and my dress had so many alterations to fit me that I feel like I would have trouble selling it. I was thinking of donating it (yay tax deduction). I'm not feeling very sentimental with it and due to size/alterations I find it unlikely that a future daughter would be able to wear it. Plus I don't think my dress was particularly unique in any way.

I do like the idea of cutting it into a cocktail dress, but I don't think my dress would do that well.

VulgarGirl · October 2014

Well I'm going to wear it to FI's office holiday party. After that probably any other cocktail dress events.

huskypuppy14 · October 2014

My dress is still in it's bag, 4 months later. My dress isn't that dirty, but I want to get it cleaned and preserved. I don't feel so bad now, since there are other posters that have been married just as long or longer than me, and haven't cleaned theirs either.

The Dress: What now?

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