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So many knots in my stomach :(

I guess I just need to finally vent about this. FI and I work for the same company (huge international company based in a small town) and were about to buy a house this past April. A few days from closing on our "dream house," we found out our company has been acquired by our biggest competitor. Since we both work for the company and both stood to lose our jobs at the same time, and this is a small town with no other major industries to work for (and the nearest decent-sized town is an hour away) everything fell apart and we did not buy the house. Luckily we found a way out of the contract at the very last minute but it was a huge mess. I sat on the couch and cried for a few days and then got my shit together and got over it. Sometimes shit happens, and we just have to deal with it one step at a time. 

Well, we're still in limbo with our jobs. The final deal isn't due to close until April 2015 (about a month before our wedding) so if we get fired, it will most likely happen around that time. And the thought of both of us potentially "starting our lives together" being unemployed kind of makes me want to puke and cry at the same time. We considered just bailing out and finding jobs elsewhere this fall. Like I said, there isn't much around here, so we'd have to make a pretty significant move to another state, which we're totally willing to do. But FI thinks it's best to wait until the new year because we haven't been here long enough to be fully vested on our 401Ks, so we'd both lose half our money. If we get fired, we get our full 401Ks and a severance package. 

I've been fine with all of this, mostly just not thinking about it, until this morning when we got an "update" on how the acquisition is going. My stomach totally knotted up and I really thought I was gonna start crying right at my desk in front of everyone. The update really doesn't give any useful information. Just "things are going well, the deal is still set to close when expected, it's all business as usual." 

It's just all the not knowing that's killing me. Will we get fired? When will we get fired? Should we move? When will we move? Where will we go? Where will we live? How will we both find new jobs? Will we still get paid the same? How do we move far away and still plan our wedding that's in this area? How do I start a new job and immediately ask for time off for this wedding? What if I don't find a new job? What if I get sick again with no health insurance? On and on and on. 

I guess what freaks me out the most is the thought of being unemployed again. When I graduated college, it took me three years to find a "real job" where I was actually financially stable. For three years I put in hundreds of job applications, went to career counselors, temp agencies, revised me resume a million times, worked part-time shitty jobs that I hated, had to move in with my parents, sometimes couldn't even afford to buy my own groceries or pay my student loans. I thought I had it made when I got my current job. Health insurance, paid vacation time, working for this huge company that has such an awesome reputation, being treated well at work, being treated well by my boss, being able to buy my own house. And then it all fell apart, out of nowhere, and I feel like I have to start back at the beginning again. 

Anyway, that's my big whiney rant. Thanks for putting up with it. I'm sure a lot of you can relate because EVERYONE has had to face tough situations like this at some point. I think I'll spend a little bit of time feeling sorry for myself, and then I'll get my shit together again and keep going. 
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Re: So many knots in my stomach :(

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    Ugh I'm sorry. All I have is hugs and cheese. 

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    I don't have any advice because there is so much in limbo, but I assure you I would be freaking the fuck out, too. 
    A couple thoughts:
    1) Why do you think you'll be getting fired? Has anyone said anything about employment changes? 
    2) Could you cut back the wedding at all so you could have more in your savings when/if you do lose your job. 

    Sending positive vibes your way. 
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    I don't have any advice because there is so much in limbo, but I assure you I would be freaking the fuck out, too. 
    A couple thoughts:
    1) Why do you think you'll be getting fired? Has anyone said anything about employment changes? 
    2) Could you cut back the wedding at all so you could have more in your savings when/if you do lose your job. 

    Sending positive vibes your way. 
    It's because of the departments we're in. We both are in particularly "at risk" departments, mine because in our industry they always cut my group in acquisitions because we're so tailored to our own company...kind of hard to explain.  FI's department doesn't exist at the other company cuz they outsource all of that type of work. 

    As for 2) yes, we were already able to scale back a bit and my parents were able to help a little more than I had originally thought they would, so I'm putting as much money as I can into savings. 

    Thank you! 
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    I don't really have any advice for you but I am so sorry this is happening.  Doubt is an awful feeling.  Uncertainty is just as terrible.

    I also hate the term "Business as usual."  My company was bought by another company within the last year or so as well.  We used to get those types of updates all the time.  It just makes you feel more frustrated than reassured.  We also asked the questions you're asking.  "What will happen to me?  There's a person the 'other side' that does my job." comes up a lot, even now.

    I'm trying to rally my coworkers and be strong for them, but it's difficult.  Update your Linked In profile and network.  Sometimes that helps.
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    That really sucks...

    I would at least start looking for jobs in another place, even if you don't end up taking them.  It might be helpful to know what is out there.

    I would also try to cut back on expenses for both the wedding and day-to-day life and continue to put as much into savings as possible.  If the worst would happen you will have a little bit more of a cusion while you find a new job.
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    This sucks. At least you have time to made decisions, if you chose to do so (move, new job, etc). I hope you are able to let yourself relax a little bit, and the two of you are able to come to a decision together on how you want to move forward. 
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    That really sucks. I'm sorry to hear you are both at risk. And what terrible timing, if it was a few months later you could at least take all your vacation around the wedding.

    One thing that might help from my job experience: I had a bit of a time getting my first job out of college. I ended up contracting for a company for three years before I managed to be a full time employee. But now that I've got a few years under my belt, it's been much easier for me to find new jobs and new opportunities. Once you get real job experience you are a known asset. People don't want to train newbies, but they like people who already have skills. That may make your new job search a little easier. Or at least get you more money as a contract worker.
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    I'm so sorry you're going through this.  *Hugs*


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    anjemon said:
    That really sucks. I'm sorry to hear you are both at risk. And what terrible timing, if it was a few months later you could at least take all your vacation around the wedding.

    One thing that might help from my job experience: I had a bit of a time getting my first job out of college. I ended up contracting for a company for three years before I managed to be a full time employee. But now that I've got a few years under my belt, it's been much easier for me to find new jobs and new opportunities. Once you get real job experience you are a known asset. People don't want to train newbies, but they like people who already have skills. That may make your new job search a little easier. Or at least get you more money as a contract worker.
    This honestly does make me feel better. I'm hoping that since I've now been working at this company for two years and can put that on my resume, it will count for something. Thank you! 

    And just knowing I have a safe place to whine about this also helps a ton. Thanks for the comments, everyone. 
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    I am so, so, so sorry. I've been in a similar though not quite the same situation and while I was able to stay on it was so hard watching my co-workers in limbo and not knowing what to do in terms of looking for a new job or waiting and hanging around and especially not knowing if they'd *need* to get a different job. *hugs*
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    That really sucks. I'm sorry. I had this happen at a company I worked at too - they were bought by HP and we were in limbo for a long time. 
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    Start collecting letters of recommendation from co-workers, clients, and vendors.  Offer to write letters of recommendation for your co-workers who are in your same boat.  Maybe you won't need them, but it will be nice to have them when you do end up looking for a job.

    I was unemployed for a while.  Temped at my current job for 4 months before being offered it permanently.  Don't plan on going anywhere anytime soon.  But still, one of my co-workers gave me a verbal compliment and I half-jokingly told her that I only accept compliments in writing.  She got all serious and said, "Okay, I'll send the email to both you AND your boss."  I keep an email folder called "prop" where I put compliments people give me over email, "you're awesome", or "wow, that was quick."  I go through the "props" folder occasionally when I'm having a bad day or feeling down in order to remember how awesome I am.

    Good luck!
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    That's an awful feeling. :(

    I suggest secretly searching for new jobs, just in case.
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    I'm so sorry! No suggestions, just hugs and we can eat all the cheese lolo gave you. I'll bring wine.

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    Aw I am SO sorry that you are going through that. I can absolutely relate to all the racing thoughts and anxiety about what will happen in the future. Nothing kicks up my anxiety more than not knowing what is going to happen in the future and not having a plan. ((hugs))

    Is it worthwhile for you and FI to make up several different plans/back up plans in the event of different situations? I feel like that would help me cope with the unknown more. If that doesn't work, I suggest wine.
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    Oh, man. I'm sorry. This royally sucks. 

    I would definitely use this time to make sure your resume is awesome and your LinkedIn profile is up to date and also awesome (if you have one). Practice interviewing skills with FI if you wanna. Start researching companies in the area you guys might want to move if you need to. Hopefully you won't actually need any of this, but at least you'll be more prepared if you do. 

    Mega hugs. :(
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    I'm sorry!  Limbo stinks, especially when it's going to be a long wait.  I agree with adk - think about what you might benefit from having and start pulling those things together: references, portfolio examples of projects, writing, presentations, etc.  They might be helpful if you need to start your job search and they might be helpful if there's an opportunity to stay with the new company, either by advocating for your current position or a transfer to a similar one in the new structure.

    I think goldchocobo is right about social media, too - get on LinkedIn, may sure your info is current, join (more) related professional groups or email lists where you can get additional info on jobs.  If friends in your industry or related ones check in with you or FI, I think I'd put out soft inquiries about what might be open or let people know you might be looking soon.

    Good luck!
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    Sorry to hear about all that.  Uncertainty is always the hardest part.  I would suggest a stance of hoping for the best and preparing for the worst. Plan to stay where you are and hope things work out, but work on a plan B, just in case.  It doesn't hurt to start looking and applying for other jobs.  Maybe you won't get any offers.  Maybe you'll get a really amazing offer that may make it worth leaving early, even if that means leaving part of the 401K. And some job opportunities take a while to hire, even several months.  So, you may find a job that won't even start until next spring.  So, I'd at least start looking to see what else is out there. And if you do get let go, you at least have a head start.

    I would probably cut back wedding expenses if possible, just in case.  And if you end up unemployed around the time of your wedding, take advantage and maybe take an extended honeymoon and enjoy being with your spouse. Even if it's just staying at home. Send out a bunch of resumes beforehand and relax for a couple weeks while waiting to hear back.

    As far as taking time off for wedding right after starting a job, just make sure they are aware of your plans when they offer the job (don't bring it up before that though).  DH started a job about 6 months before our wedding but we had already planned nearly 3 weeks out of town for our wedding & honeymoon. They weren't exactly thrilled about that extended of a leave, but they were accepting of it and were understanding since it was for our wedding and was already planned and booked.  Most employers tend to be fairly understanding about things like that.

    But, for now, just go with the flow and try not to stress about it too much.  Stressing and worrying doesn't solve anything, it just hurts you. So, come up with plans for each scenario, so you can be somewhat prepared for any outcome.  And start looking to see what other jobs are out there... even if you don't take any of the jobs, getting a feel for what's out there, getting resume updated, and even practicing with a few interviews gives you a good head start.  And it will help you feel a bit more prepared for a potential job loss, so maybe the idea of it won't be so stressful.

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    adk19 said:
    Start collecting letters of recommendation from co-workers, clients, and vendors.  Offer to write letters of recommendation for your co-workers who are in your same boat.  Maybe you won't need them, but it will be nice to have them when you do end up looking for a job.

    I was unemployed for a while.  Temped at my current job for 4 months before being offered it permanently.  Don't plan on going anywhere anytime soon.  But still, one of my co-workers gave me a verbal compliment and I half-jokingly told her that I only accept compliments in writing.  She got all serious and said, "Okay, I'll send the email to both you AND your boss."  I keep an email folder called "prop" where I put compliments people give me over email, "you're awesome", or "wow, that was quick."  I go through the "props" folder occasionally when I'm having a bad day or feeling down in order to remember how awesome I am.

    Good luck!
    Love this.
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    Sorry to hear you have to deal with this. We went through something similar last year. We both work for the same company, at the same office, but for different groups. We bought our "forever home" in May 2013 and in November 2013, they announced they were closing our office and laying off most people. We're both fully vested in our 401ks and pensions and didn't want to lose that! Only 15% would get a relocation offer and each group was being relocated to a different part of the country. Good news is that we both got relocation offers, bad news is that we were going to end up in different states. We took matters into our own hands and chose where we wanted to be rather than just accepting their offers. We're heading to Texas (DH is already there) and after looking over everything, we can keep our forever home, too! 

    So, my advice is to have a talk with your FI, maybe look into different areas where your company may be hiring, or just different areas. Agree on an area that best suits your needs. Start looking for jobs there, researching COL, etc. If you do get laid off, you already have an idea of where you want to go. You also need to discuss what happens when one of you gets laid off and the other doesn't. DH and I were willing to live apart if need be (and we currently are living apart). Maybe that is not right for you, but it works for us. Moving really sucks, but flexibility is what keeps people alive in the job market. We were willingly to go anywhere at the end of the day, but we found what we needed in Texas. 

     







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    raissyraisraissyrais member
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    edited October 2014
    I'm sending hugs to you Novella, I understand the anxiety ow waiting around and not knowing. But you have a plan B just in case and that's always good. You might have to be a bit more patient but trust me, even if it looks difficult now (and it might be for a while) everything will be alright in the end. Good luck and stay strong.

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    It is definitely stressful to deal with, especially on top of house buying woes and planning a wedding.  I went through a similar situation at my first job where they had merged 2 companies into one and I was on the winning side (yea!) and then about 3 years later they decided to move our piece to merge with another company under the same umbrella and I was on the losing side (boo!).

    The uncertainty is tough, but have a game plan now.  Put out feelers to friends/family/networking, start looking for jobs now - maybe an awesome opportunity will present itself.  Or maybe you won't have to worry about losing your job at all, and score you still found a new one.

    The reality is it could happen to anyone, companies get bought/sold all the time or layoffs happen and you may not have a year to prepare.  You're being given time to get your stuff together and make a plan in case you need it.  That's way better than being blindsided and then trying to find something new.

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    I would put feelers out for other opportunities but not do anything until you see what happens.  The company may offer a different job (or location) or a package that could be generous enough to buy you some time to find something else without stress.  


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    So sorry! As a college youngin, I have no suggestions, just internet hugs!
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    Normally I just lurk here from Wedding Woes (it's slow there these days), but I wanted to add that a) I've been in your shoes, and it sucks, and I'm sorry, and b) when I feel anxious about stuff like this, sometimes just browsing job postings helps.  Even if I'm not ready to send resumes, it reminds me that there are jobs out there.  I go from thinking "I'd be fucked" to "I'd have options."

    Also, if you have the time for it, step up your networking game.  Especially within your industry, where everyone is aware of the acquisition and the potential fallout.  DH works for a large bank, and the past several years haven't exactly been kind to his industry.  Whenever his employer was in the news for announcing thousands more layoffs, he'd start getting emails from friends, contacts, and recruiters:  "Are you okay there?  If you want to jump ship, we have an opening in _____.  Send me your resume, I'll be happy to [put in a good word for you/set up a meeting/put it directly in the hiring manager's hand/whatever]."  That kind of thing.  Good luck.
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    I wish I had advice but the pp's have aready covered it all.  All I can do is offer hugs and wish you luck!  Just stay positive!
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    You guys are seriously awesome. 
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    I'm so sorry. PPs have given great advice. Keeping you in my thoughts! Let us know if you need a gif party. We have that shit on lock, YO!

     

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    I think PPs have it covered, just wanted to say that I'm sorry you and your FI are going through such a stressful time right now and that I wish you both all the luck!
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    That stinks so bad and I'm really sorry. I am a major planner so I get tons of anxiety over things that could happen in 6-12 months. So I would also be freaked out in your position. My last company was losing a lot of money and I could tell they were going down. I stayed there but I went on interviews 1 a month for 12 months before I finally landed my current job. So I definitely think you need to get out there and start applying NOW. Because if you think about it....there are going to be, what 25+ other people from your company who are also going to be out there competing for these jobs against you? So you will want to get a jump on it and beat them to it. 

    Also, it must have been the hardest thing to give up that home purchase and I really, seriously commend you for it. It was very smart and responsible of you guys even though I'm sure it broke your heart. Definitely give yourself credit for that decision! 

    Good luck!

                                                                     

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