How to nicely tell wedding guests [that] their phones aren't invited

climbingsingle · October 2014

kk111415 said:

I would never ask guests to hand over their phones. I will however ask them to not take photos during the ceremony "we want to see your faces not your devices". I have pretty strong feelings after the last wedding I attended where the bride's uncle got up during the ceremony and walked BEHIND the bride and groom to get photos with his stupid smart phone. It was a huge distraction for guests. And he was getting in the photographers way the whole time. Not cool.

That is totally ridiculous. So, because an uncle of someone got up at one wedding you attended, you're going to treat your guests like a bunch of children that don't know how to behave?

If your have a good photographer, he'll be able to work around people. That's what they've been doing for YEARS. Before camera phones, people had point and shoot cameras, and they used them at weddings all the time. This is hardly a new issue.

Some of the best pictures I have are ones guests took during the ceremony.

esstee33 · October 2014

kk111415 said:

I myself have had white out pictures with a point and shoot at weddings but I wasn't using a fancy camera or anything. But I don't really think it's rude to tell people that we want them to experience the ceremony. I think most people will respect our wishes. I used to take photos like everyone else during the ceremony- but I realized it would be over and I would have no idea what they said to each other. So I stopped doing that, and started to really enjoy the ceremony. And if I was asked to not take photos during a ceremony, I would be totally fine with that. It's not my wedding! And we aren't telling people not to take photos during the rest of the wedding.

And our guests will have access to our professional photos. We are giving them a card with the website and password so they have the same access to the hi-res photos that we do. We want them to have access to all of our photos because we will have a photo booth set up and want people to get to see the photos and make copies/prints after the wedding.

Yes, it is, actually. Obviously they know you want them to experience your ceremony, because you invited them. Your guests aren't fucking stupid. You trying to control any aspect of their behavior is rude and condescending. How about you treat your nearest and dearest like adults?

And, in any case, if you go with the outdoor November ceremony, your guests' fingers will be too cold to use their phones anyway. Problem solved!

beethery · October 2014

esstee33 said:

kk111415 said:

I myself have had white out pictures with a point and shoot at weddings but I wasn't using a fancy camera or anything. But I don't really think it's rude to tell people that we want them to experience the ceremony. I think most people will respect our wishes. I used to take photos like everyone else during the ceremony- but I realized it would be over and I would have no idea what they said to each other. So I stopped doing that, and started to really enjoy the ceremony. And if I was asked to not take photos during a ceremony, I would be totally fine with that. It's not my wedding! And we aren't telling people not to take photos during the rest of the wedding.

And our guests will have access to our professional photos. We are giving them a card with the website and password so they have the same access to the hi-res photos that we do. We want them to have access to all of our photos because we will have a photo booth set up and want people to get to see the photos and make copies/prints after the wedding.

Yes, it is, actually. Obviously they know you want them to experience your ceremony, because you invited them. Your guests aren't fucking stupid. You trying to control any aspect of their behavior is rude and condescending. How about you treat your nearest and dearest like adults?

And, in any case, if you go with the outdoor November ceremony, your guests' fingers will be too cold to use their phones anyway. Problem solved!

KK and I talked about this, and I'm pretty sure she's going to have her ceremony indoors.

wrigleyville · October 2014

I don't know why people think I'm not paying attention when I'm FOCUSING MY GODDAMN CAMERA on you. Obviously, I'm paying the fuck attention.

I felt honored so many people wanted to take pictures of us. I felt like a celebrity.

LadyMillil · October 2014

kk111415 said:

I would never ask guests to hand over their phones. I will however ask them to not take photos during the ceremony "we want to see your faces not your devices". I have pretty strong feelings after the last wedding I attended where the bride's uncle got up during the ceremony and walked BEHIND the bride and groom to get photos with his stupid smart phone. It was a huge distraction for guests. And he was getting in the photographers way the whole time. Not cool.

I haven't read past this comment, but I needed to say THANK GOD my friends and family took photos during the ceremony. My well-vetted photographer, recommended by a friend, went out of business a few weeks after my wedding. Wedding photos have not been delivered over 6 months later and photog will not answer emails or calls from us. My husband and I are pursuing legal action against him to get our pictures or our money back. So far, very little success. The ONLY ceremony pictures we have were taken by our friends and family.

PrincessOfHavoc · October 2014

Isn't it clear that the invite says Mr and Mrs Joe Smith, not Mr and Mrs Joe Smith and phones.....

flantastic · October 2014

PrincessOfHavoc said:

Isn't it clear that the invite says Mr and Mrs Joe Smith, not Mr and Mrs Joe Smith and phones.....

I sure as hell won't have a meal or a seat for their phones.

luckysnorkel · October 2014

I admit that people can be way too into their phones at times, and it does bother me a little bit. But jeez, it's not anyone's place to micromanage others' behavior. I'm an adult, I can snap a quick photo or two and still be 'present'. I'm probably paying more attention when I'm taking a picture than when I'm sitting quietly and occasionally spacing out.

theartistformerlyknownas · October 2014

flantastic said:

PrincessOfHavoc said:

Isn't it clear that the invite says Mr and Mrs Joe Smith, not Mr and Mrs Joe Smith and phones.....

I sure as hell won't have a meal or a seat for their phones.

My phone has a gluten allergy.

PrincessOfHavoc · October 2014

lolo883 said:

flantastic said:

PrincessOfHavoc said:

Isn't it clear that the invite says Mr and Mrs Joe Smith, not Mr and Mrs Joe Smith and phones.....

I sure as hell won't have a meal or a seat for their phones.

My phone has a gluten allergy.

My phone has an alcohol problem. I drink, it gets dropped.

simplyelise · November 2014

I was really looking forward to getting to see people's ceremony pics from our oct 18 wedding, but apparently no one took any! We didn't have any "no phone" notice or announcement or anything, but I guess none of the guests who are on fb decided to take pics. Oh well.

I will reiterate that I wouldn't have noticed one way or the other if something was going on in the audience. I was 100% focused on DH.

I found out at the reception that my aunt had skyped the ceremony so that my cousin could see it. The cousin had to miss the ceremony for a college vball game, but it was so sweet that she still wanted to see the ceremony. I'm glad we didn't stop that from happening.

PrettyGirlLost · November 2014

PrincessOfHavoc said:
I still want to know exactly how many cameras are involved in those white out pictures. Because seriously, we couldn't do anything close to that at brother and SIL rehearsal. And all my DNC 2014 pictures didn't white out and there was a shit load of camera flashes.

Photoshop. I believe Corey Ann manipulated those images in Photoshop to make them look worse than they actually are for the sake of her stupid article.

theartistformerlyknownas · November 2014

JFC, look at how ruined my wedding was. The nerve of my nearest and dearest. And this picture is clearly worthless. What assholes. Couldn't they capture this moment with their HEARTS?!

misshart00 · November 2014

lolo883 said:

JFC, look at how ruined my wedding was. The nerve of my nearest and dearest. And this picture is clearly worthless. What assholes. Couldn't they capture this moment with their HEARTS?!

It took me so long to even find the phone in this picture.

plainjane0415 · November 2014

lolo883 said:

JFC, look at how ruined my wedding was. The nerve of my nearest and dearest. And this picture is clearly worthless. What assholes. Couldn't they capture this moment with their HEARTS?!

side note.... you look awesome!

esstee33 · November 2014

lolo883 said:

JFC, look at how ruined my wedding was. The nerve of my nearest and dearest. And this picture is clearly worthless. What assholes. Couldn't they capture this moment with their HEARTS?!

thisismynickname2 · November 2014

"We want to see faces, not devices."

I'm so short that unless I'm on the aisle, you won't see my face.

I just attended a wedding over the weekend where I couldn't see jack shit except the bride's veil.

I just find those arguments so hilarious: "We want to see YOU!" No, you're going to be looking only at your betrothed.

Besides the bride's veil, I could see the groom's face, the unflattering cut of the bridesmaids' dresses (not enough support up top for most of them), some handsome groomsmen, and the beautiful flowers on the balcony surrounding the ceremony space. BUT I LISTENED WITH MY HEART, y'all. It was a lovely ceremony.

How to nicely tell wedding guests [that] their phones aren't invited

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