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Do you regret not having daylight pictures or a first look?

AshleyProclaimsAshleyProclaims member
First Comment 5 Love Its
in Wedding Photography and Videography Forum
My fiancé and I are getting married in December and it gets dark earlier in the day. He is very traditional and says he wants the first time he sees me to be when I come down the isle…but I'm afraid I'll regret not having pictures in the daylight. If we don't have a 'first look', all of our pictures together will be in the dark. He's come around and told me it was up to me, but I want to honor how he feels too. I'm really torn!


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Re: Do you regret not having daylight pictures or a first look?

  • lvshelleyjmlvshelleyjm member
    First Comment First Anniversary
    I'm kind of like your husband, where I do not want to see my groom until I walk down the isle. I do have a suggestion but it depends on how your wedding is set up. 

    My solution is that, have the photographers take all the pictures except you and your groom together before the wedding when it is still light out. What I mean by that is have the photographer take pics of you, you and your bridesmaids, you and the groomsmen and the groom with his party and with your bridesmaid and so on. That way, almost all the pictures have been already taken in the broad day light. 

    Now, after walking down the isle, I am assuming that you will have a little break before the reception starts? During that time, the photographer can focus on the pictures of you and your groom. I don't know what time you're thinking of, but perhaps, if there is some daylight, your photographer can work quickly and efficiently to capture the beauty between you two and the rest of the wedding party with natural light. 

    However, nighttime photography is also wonderful. I have seen a lot of night time wedding photos that are equally amazing as the day time ones. So, perhaps, when you are looking for a photographer, look through both daytime and night-time photos in their portfolio to see if that matches your expectations. 

    Good luck! 
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  • photokittyphotokitty mod
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    I think you will regret not having daylight photos. I know I would have at least. Nighttime photos can be incredible, but I would want them in addition to daytime photos, not in lieu of them, but that's JMHO. The background of your photos will be limited. The shadows might be deeper and the details lost.

    I love first looks bc...
    -I prefer seeing the reaction of the B&G in one photo. The groom will still be moved by the moment of you walking down the aisle, a first look won't change how he feels about you. He's not looking at the dress, he's excited to see you coming down the aisle to marry him - having seen you an hour before isn't going to change that emotion.
    -It will save a LOT of time. You can go to cocktail hour and enjoy the yummy appetizers! You can spend more time talking to your guests, freeing yourself up to party on the dance floor more after dinner.
    -You can have a comprehensive photo shoot with FI at multiple locations if you want.
    -If calms your nerves and gives you some special time alone on an otherwise busy day.
    -You can have the bridal party and family photos done just before the ceremony. Everyone can be there a little early and then your parents are free to greet the guests at cocktail hour and be good hosts.

    DH & I went and took photos together for about 2.5 hours, just relaxing and having fun.
    Then we reserved an hour for family photos. We did not have a wedding party, but have large family, so it was about the same as having a wedding party.

    GL!
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

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  • emmyg65emmyg65 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Can't you just take the photos indoors?
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  • jenijoykjenijoyk member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited November 2014

    We did a first look for this exact reason. Sun went down really soon after the ceremony was over, and our wedding was out doors. I'm so glad we did because our photographer ended up being completely awful and all the photos of me after dark were terrible. Really overexposed (my (gold IRL) dress is just a solid, bright white mass... same with our cake... same with a lot of faces in the after dark pics). Not all photographers are as awful as our's was, but if there is any chance, I'd say do a first look. I'd be devastated if we didn't have any of the daylight pictures of me and my husband and family together.

    [The first look was also awesome for a bunch of other reasons. We got to have a private moment before the ceremony, which calmed our nerves. We got to focus on seeing our guests during most of cocktail hour because we took full wedding party pictures before the ceremony. And I'm pretty sure the first look kept me from sobbing my way down the aisle. The ceremony was still really emotional (FI still started tearing up the second the processional started, and I lost it for a moment while we did the rings) and beautiful. We still separated for about 45 minute before the ceremony started. He went to greet guests while I and my bridesmaids had a quiet time to ourselves.]

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  • cafarriecafarrie member
    First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    My H didn't want to see each other before the wedding/walking down the aisle bit.  I didn't care at all but respected his wishes.  However, I REALLY wish we would have done a first look with just the 2 of us.  It would have been so nice to have a a little time to ourselves and be a little more relaxed in front of the camera (it was hard to feel that way when the whole bridal party was milling around near us).
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  • JoanE2012JoanE2012 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    emmyg65 said:
    Can't you just take the photos indoors?
    This.  We also had a December wedding.  We did a first look and took photos outside.  I'm glad we did.....I really wanted outdoor photos in daylight.  However, we also took photos inside.....there was a beautifully decorated foyer with a lit fireplace and a Christmas tree.  Those photos are magical too.
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  • keh65keh65 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    I'm in the same situation and do not want to see my fiancé before the ceremony. Right now I'm considering have a day-after shoot with the two of us to save time since there isn't too long of a break between the ceremony and reception (same venue). Either that or taking care of all the other bridal party photos beforehand. I really want the hour before the ceremony to relax though, so the day-after shoot is pretty tempting. 
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  • JoanE2012JoanE2012 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    keh65 said:
    I'm in the same situation and do not want to see my fiancé before the ceremony. Right now I'm considering have a day-after shoot with the two of us to save time since there isn't too long of a break between the ceremony and reception (same venue). Either that or taking care of all the other bridal party photos beforehand. I really want the hour before the ceremony to relax though, so the day-after shoot is pretty tempting. 
    Keep in mind you will probably be exhausted.  We were up late that night with people at a bar afterwards and then we hosted breakfast the next morning.   And even if we didn't do that, I was still tired.  Tired from all the planning, tired from the day itself.....the last thing I'd want to do is get my hair and makeup (professionally) done AGAIN to go on a photoshoot.  Not to mention, I feel expressions would be different because it's taken AFTER the excitement of the wedding day.  You can't capture those feelings again.  I'd always know they were staged photos.

    Host a cocktail hour between the ceremony and reception and that should be plenty of time to take your photos and allow you to relax the next day.  :)
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  • LarraO2530LarraO2530 member
    Name Dropper 5 Love Its First Comment
    I've gotten FI and FMIL to come around to the first look for many of the reasons mentioned in PP. I can't imagine the photographer missing the look on FI's face as I walk down the aisle bc he was shooting me...it would be a big disappointment for me not to have that special moment between just the two of us to look back on and know that's exactly what love looks like. Plus, FI hates to be the center of attention, so I know his expression would be different in front of all the guests.
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    We did not do a first look at our wedding and I don't regret it.  I love that DH saw me for the first time as I came down the aisle.  We used the cocktail hour to get our couple photos done.  The only regret is I didn't get a crab cake that everyone raved about during the cocktails. LOL!

    We did have to act quickly because of sunset, but we had a shot list and our photographer kept us on schedule.  We finished up with enough time to get a sneak peak at our reception set up and a few bonus photos on the dance floor with just the two of us.
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  • JamieLynn913JamieLynn913 member
    First Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its First Comment
    I'm in this situation now. We've been meeting with photographers and almost all of them are completely different. There was one pair who understood how I felt about not doing a first look. They plan it so they constantly know where we are so we don't bump into each other, take my girls and take pictures with him, and vice versa. We met with one photographer last night that the quality of his work is beyond amazing. There are no words to describe how we felt looking at his pictures. But he is REALLY pushing the first look thing with us. Our reception is in October and the ceremony is at 6. I understand it will get dark quicker, but from the time I was little I always pictured my husband not seeing me until the day of the wedding. The photographer told me a lot of brides regret not getting those daytime shots but i don't know if I can change the way I feel, just to get pictures.

    I am now thinking about maybe doing some pictures of us where he can't see me, just knows I'm there but even that I'm going back and forth with. It's a big decision and I don't think it's one that can be made in a couple days. I was actually coming on here to make a similar thread and I'm glad there are other people in the same situation as me. I definitely want a lot of night photos with us outside only because our venue is beautiful inside and out.

    How do other brides feel? Did they change the way they felt about the first look thing just to get photos? My fiancé said he's afraid I'm thinking to much into it and him seeing me won't change anything because in his mind this is the day I become his wife and that to him means a lot in itself.
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  • photokittyphotokitty mod
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    JamieLynn913

    My updated response to this topic...
    I love first looks bc...
    -I prefer seeing the reaction of the B&G in one photo. The groom will still be moved by the moment of you walking down the aisle, a first look won't change how he feels about you.
    -He's not looking at the dress, he's excited to see you coming down the aisle to marry him - having seen you an hour before isn't going to change that emotion.
    -It will save a LOT of time. You can go to cocktail hour and enjoy the yummy appetizers! You can spend more time talking to your guests, freeing yourself up to party on the dance floor more after dinner.
    -You can have a comprehensive photo shoot with FI at multiple locations if you want.
    -It calms your nerves and gives you some special time alone on an otherwise busy day.
    -You can have the bridal party and family photos done just before the ceremony. Everyone can be there a little early and then your parents are free to greet the guests at cocktail hour and be good hosts.

    DH & I went and took photos together for about 2.5 hours, just relaxing and having fun.
    Then we reserved an hour for family photos, still prior to the ceremony. We did not have a wedding party, but have large family, so it was about the same as having a wedding party. That way everyone got to start partying right away. I am super happy with the way we did it. It was wonderful having some fun time together without suffering a gap for the guests or us missing out on all the fun at cocktail hour.

    The wow factor is not about how you look, your groom is wowed bc in that moment he sees his entire life ahead walking down the aisle. It's the marriage, the promise, the future, the way he feels about you that cause the WOW, not the dress, the makeup, the hair or the way you look. You new life together is the wow :)

    GL!
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

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