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NWR: Thanking a Thank you?

dolewhipperdolewhipper member
First Comment 5 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
I was recently a BM in a friend's wedding. Long story short, she asked me last minute and I had a great time being in her WP. MOB took care of the dress, which wasn't necessary at all, but now I understand why.

The wedding was a month and a half ago, and friend is a OMH and happy. I get a letter in the mail from the MOB, thanking me for being a good friend and yaddayadda being in the WP. Enclosed is a check and the letter explains that the other BMs received some money to cover expenses for the trip (it was DW) and the dress. Since they bought the dress for me already, it was the difference she would have given me.

Do I write MOB a thank you? I would have never known about the other girls' getting money as I'm not close with them. I don't see MOB as she doesn't live local, so I can't give her a verbal thank you. I don't want to cash the check without giving thanks if that's what I should do (and I feel as I should, but then that's thanking a thank you and that sounds a bit redundant). I talk to OMH friend a lot but don't see her often; I didn't tell her that I received the check from her mom. WWYD?


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Re: NWR: Thanking a Thank you?

  • April192002April192002 member
    5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper First Anniversary
    I think you should send a thank you note because you received unexpected money. I wouldn't see it as thanking a thank you.
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    I agree with April. You are thanking her for the money gift, not for the thank you.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • novella1186novella1186 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Yep. It's still a gift. Regardless of what the gift is for, it's a gift, so it deserves a thank you.
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  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    novella1186 said:
    Yep. It's still a gift. Regardless of what the gift is for, it's a gift, so it deserves a thank you.
    Do you guys give thank you notes for hostess gifts or bridesmaid gifts? Obviously, I would thank the giver in person even though the person is giving the gift as a thank you.

    I think the difference is that this was mailed, and the OP will not see the giver in person. It's still appropriate to give a thank you note in this case, but thank you notes are not necessarily needed for thank you gifts. (I hope that makes sense,)
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  • dolewhipperdolewhipper member
    First Comment 5 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    Thank you all!

    huskypuppy14 I did get my BM a card and bottle of wine when she threw my engagement party I of course thanked her in person, but I wanted to take the extra step to really show my appreciation. 


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  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    dolewhipper said:
    Thank you all!

    huskypuppy14 I did get my BM a card and bottle of wine when she threw my engagement party I of course thanked her in person, but I wanted to take the extra step to really show my appreciation. 
    I meant you gave your BM a thank you gift, did she in turn give you a thank you note for your thank you gift.. KWIM
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  • dolewhipperdolewhipper member
    First Comment 5 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    huskypuppy14 Yes! Get it now.


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