HELP! Mother of the groom is fussing about our "no kids" decision

photokitty · November 2014

Anyone who brings a guest, child or otherwise, not listed on the invite and whom they did not RSVP to the host -- a verbal invite from the MOG does not constitute an invite from the host, nor is a verbal RSVP to the MOG a proper invitation - deserves to be sent away.

If the MOG told me I could bring my 6 year old I would indicate on my RSVP that lil Johnny was coming. Then the B&G would be notified and could call to explain that MOG was BSC and overstepped her boundaries.

Unless MOG invite the kid AFTER the RSVP date then the parents have to be rude for the B&G not to be alerted to the issue before the kids arrives at the door.

Actions have consequences.

southernbelle0915 · November 2014

danamw said:

thespeshulestsnowflake said:
Honestly, I would never throw someone out if they arrived with their non-invited child. It's just not me. I'd be irked as hell though and most likely bitch about it.

BUT...I would try my hardest to never let it get to that point. If I had heard that my FMIL was telling people that their children were invited, I would get my FI to tell her to call them back and say she was mistaken. I would keep an eye out for my RSVPs, making sure the number of people RSVPing was not larger than the number I invited.

speshul, what you add is very correct. If you suspected the guest were getting incorrect advice from the MOG, you should seek to clarify, before it came to the point of ejecting a 6 year old from a wedding his parents were invited to, and told they could bring him.
To the others who think it is ok to throw people out of your wedding, you definitely will be teaching people a lesson. About what a mistake it is, to have anything to do with you.

To the bolded - it's not always about principle. It's sometimes about venue restrictions, capacity limitations, etc.

The point here is that guests have a responsibility to understand who's invited based on the invitation and RSVP appropriately. If they want to go outside that and add people who aren't invited, they talk to the hosts (in this case, the B&G). If you were invited to dinner at your friend's house, would you call up her sister if you wanted to bring a friend? No. You'd call the host - your friend. Anyone who contacts the MOG instead of the host is setting themselves up for a negative/awkward situation.

And further, the hosts don't have to give a reason if they turn someone away. It could be out of their hands (like fire cod/capacity restrictions) or it could simply be because they don't want the guest there. The guest is 100% responsible for the incident. For them to throw a fit on top of that is ridiculous at best.

Jen4948 · November 2014

No, @danamw, the lesson is not to bring your kids where they're not invited.

It's not rude to invite parents without their kids or to turn them away when they do bring their kids or anyone else uninvited.

It is rude to just show up with them and expect to be admitted. Getting turned away under those circumstances is your fault-not the hosts'. If you choose to pout, stamp your foot, storm off and have a bad or no relationship with the hosts after that, then YOU are the one who everyone else should have nothing to do with because you behaved like a spoiled, entitled brat and were disrespectful of your hosts. It's up to them who is invited-not you. And you are the one who deserves the fallout of no one having anything to do with YOU-not the other way around.

wrigleyville · November 2014

If you didn't have a ticket to a concert, you wouldn't try to get in. So why try to bring someone to a wedding when they weren't invited? No invitation = no ticket = no admission.

[Deleted User] · November 2014

[Deleted User] · November 2014

pinkrevenge said:

danamw said:

An invited couple, who has been told by the MOG that is is ok to bring their 6 year old to the wedding, does so, and is sent home, told they are not welcome.
Anyone who would approve of this is a self-centered creep.

I would bet good money that the bride and groom will make it clear who is invited on the invitation. And if they're decent guests, they will RSVP the number of people who are coming. If they think there is a discrepancy (I thought we were all invited but it says _/2) they would then have the opportunity to call.

In my family, you never take mom or grandma's word as the actual invitation, because my grandma is a shiesty one. If I don't get a paper invite addressed to me from the bride and groom, I don't go.

Yep. My mother believes invitations are transferable. She and dad were invited to a wedding a couple years ago and couldn't go, so they called us and told us we should go in their place because "Jim and Dan would love to see us." Yeah, that's not how invitations work.

danamw · November 2014

And you are the arbitors on what is "rude" on this board? Ha.

I remember my nephews when they were 6, and my coworkers kids. The idea of a shrill, hatchet-faced harpy in a white dress shrieking at them to leave the magical place...

It makes me sad.

lovegood90 · November 2014

danamw said:
And you are the arbitors on what is "rude" on this board? Ha.
I remember my nephews when they were 6, and my coworkers kids. The idea of a shrill, hatchet-faced harpy in a white dress shrieking at them to leave the magical place...
It makes me sad.

Oh my god, enough already. Will you just calm down, stop clutching your pearls at all the logical responses you're getting, have a glass of wine and reread the thread.

wrigleyville · November 2014

danamw said: And you are the arbitors on what is "rude" on this board? Ha.I remember my nephews when they were 6, and my coworkers kids. The idea of a shrill, hatchet-faced harpy in a white dress shrieking at them to leave the magical place...It makes me sad.

You're picturing it incorrectly. Either the DOC or the bride calmly explain, to the parent, that their child/children were not invited and they cannot be accommodated.

It is exactly the same as explaining an event is sold out and you don't have a ticket. If you didn't have a ticket or invitation, would you expect to be accommodated at a movie theater? A concert hall? No, you wouldn't. Why is a wedding any different?

Jen4948 · November 2014

wrigleyville said:

danamw said:

And you are the arbitors on what is "rude" on this board? Ha.
I remember my nephews when they were 6, and my coworkers kids. The idea of a shrill, hatchet-faced harpy in a white dress shrieking at them to leave the magical place...
It makes me sad.

You're picturing it incorrectly. Either the DOC or the bride calmly explain, to the parent, that their child/children were not invited and they cannot be accommodated.

It is exactly the same as explaining an event is sold out and you don't have a ticket. If you didn't have a ticket or invitation, would you expect to be accommodated at a movie theater? A concert hall? No, you wouldn't. Why is a wedding any different?

The groom, parents, or other hosts might also do the calm explaining-especially if the bride doesn't know the guests in question..

danamw · November 2014

This thread has actually given an idea to my nephew, whose hobby is making short comedy videos for friends, and has put a few on YouTube. I showed it to him, of course! He doesn't read theknot!

The theme will be a harridan in a bride's dress, throwing children out the door. I am too old to play the bride, but maybe I could play the MOG, if it goes that way!

It could be good! Making something funny about something that makes me mad!

Jen4948 · November 2014

danamw said:

This thread has actually given an idea to my nephew, whose hobby is making short comedy videos for friends, and has put a few on YouTube. I showed it to him, of course! He doesn't read theknot!
The theme will be a harridan in a bride's dress, throwing children out the door. I am too old to play the bride, but maybe I could play the MOG, if it goes that way!
It could be good! Making something funny about something that makes me mad!

If you'd read the thread, it's not always the bride who asks unwanted guests to leave, so will you knock off the "harridan in a white dress" bullshit already? And will you please get it through the solid bone you call a skull that the people being turned away were UNINVITED and NOT WELCOME in the first place?

lovegood90 · November 2014

danamw said:

This thread has actually given an idea to my nephew, whose hobby is making short comedy videos for friends, and has put a few on YouTube. I showed it to him, of course! He doesn't read theknot!
The theme will be a harridan in a bride's dress, throwing children out the door. I am too old to play the bride, but maybe I could play the MOG, if it goes that way!
It could be good! Making something funny about something that makes me mad!

Aaand I'm out. You're obviously trolling now. #byefelicia

misshart00 · November 2014

Please don't procreate. We have enough parents that don't know how to tell their kids no.

JeeGooDowster · November 2014

Let me preface this by saying that I am going to agree with everyone here saying that it's very rude and unacceptable to bring kids to a wedding they were clearly not invited to.

However, what i don't agree with is that "kids need to be taught a lesson that they're not going to be accepted/invited everywhere" It takes a massive bitter bitch to want to teach the kid a lesson to make them feel unwelcome and make sure that the 6-year old knows that (s)he is unwelcome. Children do pick up on attitudes, and unless their the devil-child, I'm NOT OK with making a kid feel bad, especially since it's their parents fault. I highly doubt kids REALLY want to attend weddings.

If you want to teach someone a lesson, it has to be the parents. Feel free to call them out on breaking the etiquette rules and making it known that they are not special and have no right to bring uninvited guests, even if it is their children.

MyNameIsNot · November 2014

mrsdowster said:

Let me preface this by saying that I am going to agree with everyone here saying that it's very rude and unacceptable to bring kids to a wedding they were clearly not invited to.

However, what i don't agree with is that "kids need to be taught a lesson that they're not going to be accepted/invited everywhere" It takes a massive bitter bitch to want to teach the kid a lesson to make them feel unwelcome and make sure that the 6-year old knows that (s)he is unwelcome. Children do pick up on attitudes, and unless their the devil-child, I'm NOT OK with making a kid feel bad, especially since it's their parents fault. I highly doubt kids REALLY want to attend weddings.

If you want to teach someone a lesson, it has to be the parents. Feel free to call them out on breaking the etiquette rules and making it known that they are not special and have no right to bring uninvited guests, even if it is their children.

Telling the parents that the kid can't be accommodated is punishing the parent. The 6 year old has no idea whether or not he was invited, and won't understand why they have to leave.

The parent will be mortified to find that the venue won't shuffle to fit in the uninvited extra guest.

Jen4948 · November 2014

mrsdowster said:
Let me preface this by saying that I am going to agree with everyone here saying that it's very rude and unacceptable to bring kids to a wedding they were clearly not invited to.

However, what i don't agree with is that "kids need to be taught a lesson that they're not going to be accepted/invited everywhere" It takes a massive bitter bitch to want to teach the kid a lesson to make them feel unwelcome and make sure that the 6-year old knows that (s)he is unwelcome. Children do pick up on attitudes, and unless their the devil-child, I'm NOT OK with making a kid feel bad, especially since it's their parents fault. I highly doubt kids REALLY want to attend weddings.

If you want to teach someone a lesson, it has to be the parents. Feel free to call them out on breaking the etiquette rules and making it known that they are not special and have no right to bring uninvited guests, even if it is their children.

If the kid feels bad it's tragic collateral damage because the parents chose to bring him or her where s/he was not invited.

But if the child is old enough to understand that s/he was not included in the invitation but begged or demanded to come anyway and the parents didn't do their job by not making other arrangements for the child's care or not attending themselves, sorry, I'm not sympathetic. That child AND his/her parents all need to learn not to crash someone else's occasion regardless of who the teacher is.

JeeGooDowster · November 2014

Jen4948 said:

mrsdowster said:
Let me preface this by saying that I am going to agree with everyone here saying that it's very rude and unacceptable to bring kids to a wedding they were clearly not invited to.

However, what i don't agree with is that "kids need to be taught a lesson that they're not going to be accepted/invited everywhere" It takes a massive bitter bitch to want to teach the kid a lesson to make them feel unwelcome and make sure that the 6-year old knows that (s)he is unwelcome. Children do pick up on attitudes, and unless their the devil-child, I'm NOT OK with making a kid feel bad, especially since it's their parents fault. I highly doubt kids REALLY want to attend weddings.

If you want to teach someone a lesson, it has to be the parents. Feel free to call them out on breaking the etiquette rules and making it known that they are not special and have no right to bring uninvited guests, even if it is their children.

If the kid feels bad it's tragic collateral damage because the parents chose to bring him or her where s/he was not invited.

But if the child is old enough to understand that s/he was not included in the invitation but begged or demanded to come anyway and the parents didn't do their job by not making other arrangements for the child's care or not attending themselves, sorry, I'm not sympathetic. That child AND his/her parents all need to learn not to crash someone else's occasion regardless of who the teacher is.

I know adults who dont want to go to weddings that THEY ARE invited to. I'm sure most kids dont beg parents to go to weddings. Either you know tons of kids who just absolutely love weddings or you assume the worst in kids and feel the need to punish them for just being around you.

Jen4948 · November 2014

mrsdowster said:

Jen4948 said:

mrsdowster said:
Let me preface this by saying that I am going to agree with everyone here saying that it's very rude and unacceptable to bring kids to a wedding they were clearly not invited to.

However, what i don't agree with is that "kids need to be taught a lesson that they're not going to be accepted/invited everywhere" It takes a massive bitter bitch to want to teach the kid a lesson to make them feel unwelcome and make sure that the 6-year old knows that (s)he is unwelcome. Children do pick up on attitudes, and unless their the devil-child, I'm NOT OK with making a kid feel bad, especially since it's their parents fault. I highly doubt kids REALLY want to attend weddings.

If you want to teach someone a lesson, it has to be the parents. Feel free to call them out on breaking the etiquette rules and making it known that they are not special and have no right to bring uninvited guests, even if it is their children.

If the kid feels bad it's tragic collateral damage because the parents chose to bring him or her where s/he was not invited.

But if the child is old enough to understand that s/he was not included in the invitation but begged or demanded to come anyway and the parents didn't do their job by not making other arrangements for the child's care or not attending themselves, sorry, I'm not sympathetic. That child AND his/her parents all need to learn not to crash someone else's occasion regardless of who the teacher is.
I know adults who dont want to go to weddings that THEY ARE invited to. I'm sure most kids dont beg parents to go to weddings. Either you know tons of kids who just absolutely love weddings or you assume the worst in kids and feel the need to punish them for just being around you.

Where the fuck are you getting that from? For the last fucking time, kids are NOT entitled to attend weddings if they were NOT INVITED in the first place. It's not "punishing" them to not admit them any more than anyone else who was not invited. Stop accusing those who don't admit uninvited children of "punishing" them because that's bullshit. Kids are not entitled to attend weddings or go anywhere anymore than anyone else is without an invitation.

JeeGooDowster · November 2014

Jen4948 said:

mrsdowster said:

Jen4948 said:

mrsdowster said:
Let me preface this by saying that I am going to agree with everyone here saying that it's very rude and unacceptable to bring kids to a wedding they were clearly not invited to.

However, what i don't agree with is that "kids need to be taught a lesson that they're not going to be accepted/invited everywhere" It takes a massive bitter bitch to want to teach the kid a lesson to make them feel unwelcome and make sure that the 6-year old knows that (s)he is unwelcome. Children do pick up on attitudes, and unless their the devil-child, I'm NOT OK with making a kid feel bad, especially since it's their parents fault. I highly doubt kids REALLY want to attend weddings.

If you want to teach someone a lesson, it has to be the parents. Feel free to call them out on breaking the etiquette rules and making it known that they are not special and have no right to bring uninvited guests, even if it is their children.

If the kid feels bad it's tragic collateral damage because the parents chose to bring him or her where s/he was not invited.

But if the child is old enough to understand that s/he was not included in the invitation but begged or demanded to come anyway and the parents didn't do their job by not making other arrangements for the child's care or not attending themselves, sorry, I'm not sympathetic. That child AND his/her parents all need to learn not to crash someone else's occasion regardless of who the teacher is.
I know adults who dont want to go to weddings that THEY ARE invited to. I'm sure most kids dont beg parents to go to weddings. Either you know tons of kids who just absolutely love weddings or you assume the worst in kids and feel the need to punish them for just being around you.
Where the fuck are you getting that from? For the last fucking time, kids are NOT entitled to attend weddings if they were NOT INVITED in the first place. It's not "punishing" them to not admit them any more than anyone else. Stop accusing those who don't admit uninvited children of "punishing" them because that's bullshit.

Did you read my first quote? Where in my whole conversation did I say you must admit uninvited children? Please tell me. Since you like showing how self-righteous you are, please highlight my thread where i said you MUST admit the kids?

I'm not even going to repeat myself and suggest you read my first thread.

You're getting way defensive here where you are now making up shit and not reading anyone's thread.

Jen4948 · November 2014

mrsdowster said:

Jen4948 said:

mrsdowster said:

Jen4948 said:

mrsdowster said:
Let me preface this by saying that I am going to agree with everyone here saying that it's very rude and unacceptable to bring kids to a wedding they were clearly not invited to.

However, what i don't agree with is that "kids need to be taught a lesson that they're not going to be accepted/invited everywhere" It takes a massive bitter bitch to want to teach the kid a lesson to make them feel unwelcome and make sure that the 6-year old knows that (s)he is unwelcome. Children do pick up on attitudes, and unless their the devil-child, I'm NOT OK with making a kid feel bad, especially since it's their parents fault. I highly doubt kids REALLY want to attend weddings.

If you want to teach someone a lesson, it has to be the parents. Feel free to call them out on breaking the etiquette rules and making it known that they are not special and have no right to bring uninvited guests, even if it is their children.

If the kid feels bad it's tragic collateral damage because the parents chose to bring him or her where s/he was not invited.

But if the child is old enough to understand that s/he was not included in the invitation but begged or demanded to come anyway and the parents didn't do their job by not making other arrangements for the child's care or not attending themselves, sorry, I'm not sympathetic. That child AND his/her parents all need to learn not to crash someone else's occasion regardless of who the teacher is.
I know adults who dont want to go to weddings that THEY ARE invited to. I'm sure most kids dont beg parents to go to weddings. Either you know tons of kids who just absolutely love weddings or you assume the worst in kids and feel the need to punish them for just being around you.
Where the fuck are you getting that from? For the last fucking time, kids are NOT entitled to attend weddings if they were NOT INVITED in the first place. It's not "punishing" them to not admit them any more than anyone else. Stop accusing those who don't admit uninvited children of "punishing" them because that's bullshit.
Did you read my first quote? Where in my whole conversation did I say you must admit uninvited children? Please tell me. Since you like showing how self-righteous you are, please highlight my thread where i said you MUST admit the kids?

I'm not even going to repeat myself and suggest you read my first thread.

You're getting way defensive here where you are now making up shit and not reading anyone's thread.

No, YOU are the one who accused me by commenting that I don't like or know kids. You got self-righteous by accusing those who won't admit them uninvited of "punishing" them. I read every fucking word in your post. I didn't make up shit. You did with this "punishing" bullshit.

Are you going to admit uninvited kids to your home all the time because you think it's "punishing" them to refuse to let them in? Of course not. The same principle applies to a wedding. If anyone of any age shows up uninvited, then the hosts or venue staff have every right not to admit them-child, teenager, adult, or whatever. Sometimes they are legally or contractually required not to admit them. But the only reason they need is that the people in question, whatever their age, are uninvited. Hopefully just being turned away will get across that because they weren't invited, this was the consequence of their just showing up. Consequences of actions do the teaching job by themselves. It's not "punishment."

JeeGooDowster · November 2014

Jen4948 said:

mrsdowster said:

Jen4948 said:

mrsdowster said:

Jen4948 said:

mrsdowster said:
Let me preface this by saying that I am going to agree with everyone here saying that it's very rude and unacceptable to bring kids to a wedding they were clearly not invited to.

However, what i don't agree with is that "kids need to be taught a lesson that they're not going to be accepted/invited everywhere" It takes a massive bitter bitch to want to teach the kid a lesson to make them feel unwelcome and make sure that the 6-year old knows that (s)he is unwelcome. Children do pick up on attitudes, and unless their the devil-child, I'm NOT OK with making a kid feel bad, especially since it's their parents fault. I highly doubt kids REALLY want to attend weddings.

If you want to teach someone a lesson, it has to be the parents. Feel free to call them out on breaking the etiquette rules and making it known that they are not special and have no right to bring uninvited guests, even if it is their children.

If the kid feels bad it's tragic collateral damage because the parents chose to bring him or her where s/he was not invited.

But if the child is old enough to understand that s/he was not included in the invitation but begged or demanded to come anyway and the parents didn't do their job by not making other arrangements for the child's care or not attending themselves, sorry, I'm not sympathetic. That child AND his/her parents all need to learn not to crash someone else's occasion regardless of who the teacher is.
I know adults who dont want to go to weddings that THEY ARE invited to. I'm sure most kids dont beg parents to go to weddings. Either you know tons of kids who just absolutely love weddings or you assume the worst in kids and feel the need to punish them for just being around you.
Where the fuck are you getting that from? For the last fucking time, kids are NOT entitled to attend weddings if they were NOT INVITED in the first place. It's not "punishing" them to not admit them any more than anyone else. Stop accusing those who don't admit uninvited children of "punishing" them because that's bullshit.
Did you read my first quote? Where in my whole conversation did I say you must admit uninvited children? Please tell me. Since you like showing how self-righteous you are, please highlight my thread where i said you MUST admit the kids?

I'm not even going to repeat myself and suggest you read my first thread.

You're getting way defensive here where you are now making up shit and not reading anyone's thread.
No, YOU are the one who accused me by commenting that I don't like or know kids. You got self-righteous by accusing those who won't admit them uninvited of "punishing" them. I read every fucking word in your post. I didn't make up shit. You did with this "punishing" bullshit.

Are you going to admit uninvited kids to your home all the time because you think it's "punishing" them to refuse to let them in? Of course not. The same principle applies to a wedding. If anyone of any age shows up uninvited, then the hosts or venue staff have every right not to admit them-child, teenager, adult, or whatever. Sometimes they are legally or contractually required not to admit them. But the only reason they need is that the people in question, whatever their age, are uninvited. Hopefully just being turned away will get across that because they weren't invited, this was the consequence of their just showing up. Consequences of actions do the teaching job by themselves. It's not "punishment."

@jen4948 I never even mentioned anything about "punishment" And I never said you should admit uninvited kids.

I think its perfectly fine to turn them away. I just dont think you need to be telling some 6 year old that they were not invited and you need to leave, or you're not wanted here. I think its fine if you tell the parents that they have been very rude to bring their kid even though they clearly knew the kid wasnt invited and the kid cannot be accomodated.

If you feel the need to take it further to tell the kid that, then i guess to each his own.

You can calm down now with all the cursing and the tantrums.

Jen4948 · November 2014

I don't think anyone other than the parents actually need to say it directly to a kid, unless the "kid" is an adult or close to it, in which case they do need to hear it.

But I do think that the kid does have to learn, whether directly or, as will most likely be the case, indirectly as the result of consequences, that sometimes they just aren't welcome where they're not invited and the adults in charge had no right to bring them. Yeah, it's a tough lesson, but the sooner in life they learn it, the better off they'll be.

MyNameIsNot · November 2014

mrsdowster said:

Let me preface this by saying that I am going to agree with everyone here saying that it's very rude and unacceptable to bring kids to a wedding they were clearly not invited to.

However, what i don't agree with is that "kids need to be taught a lesson that they're not going to be accepted/invited everywhere" It takes a massive bitter bitch to want to teach the kid a lesson to make them feel unwelcome and make sure that the 6-year old knows that (s)he is unwelcome. Children do pick up on attitudes, and unless their the devil-child, I'm NOT OK with making a kid feel bad, especially since it's their parents fault. I highly doubt kids REALLY want to attend weddings.

If you want to teach someone a lesson, it has to be the parents. Feel free to call them out on breaking the etiquette rules and making it known that they are not special and have no right to bring uninvited guests, even if it is their children.

If the kid feels bad it's tragic collateral damage because the parents chose to bring him or her where s/he was not invited. But if the child is old enough to understand that s/he was not included in the invitation but begged or demanded to come anyway and the parents didn't do their job by not making other arrangements for the child's care or not attending themselves, sorry, I'm not sympathetic. That child AND his/her parents all need to learn not to crash someone else's occasion regardless of who the teacher is.
I know adults who dont want to go to weddings that THEY ARE invited to. I'm sure most kids dont beg parents to go to weddings. Either you know tons of kids who just absolutely love weddings or you assume the worst in kids and feel the need to punish them for just being around you.
Where the fuck are you getting that from? For the last fucking time, kids are NOT entitled to attend weddings if they were NOT INVITED in the first place. It's not "punishing" them to not admit them any more than anyone else. Stop accusing those who don't admit uninvited children of "punishing" them because that's bullshit.
Did you read my first quote? Where in my whole conversation did I say you must admit uninvited children? Please tell me. Since you like showing how self-righteous you are, please highlight my thread where i said you MUST admit the kids? I'm not even going to repeat myself and suggest you read my first thread. You're getting way defensive here where you are now making up shit and not reading anyone's thread.
No, YOU are the one who accused me by commenting that I don't like or know kids. You got self-righteous by accusing those who won't admit them uninvited of "punishing" them. I read every fucking word in your post. I didn't make up shit. You did with this "punishing" bullshit. Are you going to admit uninvited kids to your home all the time because you think it's "punishing" them to refuse to let them in? Of course not. The same principle applies to a wedding. If anyone of any age shows up uninvited, then the hosts or venue staff have every right not to admit them-child, teenager, adult, or whatever. Sometimes they are legally or contractually required not to admit them. But the only reason they need is that the people in question, whatever their age, are uninvited. Hopefully just being turned away will get across that because they weren't invited, this was the consequence of their just showing up. Consequences of actions do the teaching job by themselves. It's not "punishment." @jen4948 I never even mentioned anything about "punishment" And I never said you should admit uninvited kids. I think its perfectly fine to turn them away. I just dont think you need to be telling some 6 year old that they were not invited and you need to leave, or you're not wanted here. I think its fine if you tell the parents that they have been very rude to bring their kid even though they clearly knew the kid wasnt invited and the kid cannot be accomodated. If you feel the need to take it further to tell the kid that, then i guess to each his own. You can calm down now with all the cursing and the tantrums.

Where on earth did you get that anyone suggested that the bride should approach the child and tell him he has to leave and that he's not wanted? Obviously, anyone with half a brain knows that the parents would be informed.

Are you on glue or just making up stupid assumptions to start drama?

JeeGooDowster · November 2014

@MyNameIsNot No, i wasn't starting drama. I was simply writing my opinion. is that OK with you?? In addition, my response was to @Jen4948 she specifically said that the child has to learn that (s)he will not always be welcome...so I'm not sure if I was sniffing glue and read her post incorrectly but I was responding to her comment about that.

danamw · November 2014

So it goes: Bride has someone else inform the parents and 6 year old that the child was not invited, and they all must leave.

Then, groom's family hates bride, and bride pretends she doesn't have any idea why this is.

After all, she was within her rights to teach them all a lesson.

Jen4948, you are very young.

wrigleyville · November 2014

The bride and groom should be on the same page about this before it's even an issue. No pretending needed.

Jen is not "very young". Please mind the TOS and keep personal attacks to a minimum (that goes for everyone).

Thanks!

Jen4948 · November 2014

danamw said:
So it goes: Bride has someone else inform the parents and 6 year old that the child was not invited, and they all must leave.
Then, groom's family hates bride, and bride pretends she doesn't have any idea why this is.
After all, she was within her rights to teach them all a lesson.

Jen4948, you are very young.

Fwiw, I'm over 40.

MyNameIsNot · November 2014

mrsdowster said:

@MyNameIsNot No, i wasn't starting drama. I was simply writing my opinion. is that OK with you?? In addition, my response was to @Jen4948 she specifically said that the child has to learn that (s)he will not always be welcome...so I'm not sure if I was sniffing glue and read her post incorrectly but I was responding to her comment about that.

It's perfectly fine for you to say whatever you like.

But when you start coming up with absurd scenarios and beating them to death, you have to expect that someone is going to question your sobriety.

No one is suggesting that the bride tell a six year old child that he is not welcome and has to leave. I don't know where you keep getting that. Maybe if you focus on the situation at hand, you'd make more sense.

plainjane0415 · November 2014

danamw said:

So it goes: Bride has someone else inform the parents and 6 year old that the child was not invited, and they all must leave.
Then, groom's family hates bride, and bride pretends she doesn't have any idea why this is.
After all, she was within her rights to teach them all a lesson.

Jen4948, you are very young.

I thought we already went over (and were quite clear) that the issue at hand is not a lesson to be taught, but rather common respect for your hosts.

Also,

If the groom's family is going to hate the bride after they went behind HER back and invited a child/children that were NOT addressed a proper invite, then that's their problem.

HELP! Mother of the groom is fussing about our "no kids" decision

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