This is going to be pretty vent-y so I'm warning you now.
I am really torn about choosing my maid of honour and could really use some advice There are two main problems. Instinctively, I really, really, want my younger brother to by my maid of honour (or man of honour in this case). Aside, from my fiance, he's my best friend. The first big problem is by my wedding he will not be old enough to be a witness. Now this really shouldn't be a huge problem, but I don't know who else would sign. Choosing him is bound to make some problems for my family.
Which brings us to problem two. I have two sisters I'm going to call them "Monica" and "Rachel" to avoid confusion. Monica has already been telling everyone since I got engaged a over year ago that she's my maid of honour. I have not asked her. I have not even asked anyone to be a bridesmaid. I wanted to wait until closer to the wedding because relationships change. Yes they're my sisters, but I didn't want any of my female friends to think they had not been asked because I had already asked my sisters, then have them tell me and then feel bad and end up asking them. Anyway back to the point. If I do not choose Monica I know she's going to be really hurt. I don't want to do that to her, but I also don't want to choose my honour attendant based on who is going to cry if they don't get it. I want that person to be special to me and I haven't been close to my sister since middle school. My fiance has also begged me not to pick Monica because she can be really controlling and negative. I could make an entire other post about how bossy she has been and already planned my wedding on pintrest, was offended that I picked the colour scheme with my fiance (apparently that's one of her duties), and all of the other crap she's criticized (For the record I don't think I'm being that bossy about bridesmaids issues, they get to pick their own dresses regardless of if they match, they just have to be the right colour, hair and makeup will be completely up to them). Regardless, she will always be my sister so she is going to be a bridesmaid. I just don't know if I want her to be my maid of honour because she's making me miserable and I want to pick my brother. For the record though she is a really good person, she's just watched every episode of Four Weddings multiple times and thinks she knows everything despite only having attended two and left both early. I really think she just wants to help and is going about it the wrong way. Though I am confused why she's been telling people she's my MOH when I have not asked.
This will of course make more waves. Monica will feel shafted and I don't know if I could ask her to be a witness because she would likely feel worse. I mean how would it go? "Hi Sis! I know you really wanted to by my maid of honour, but would you mind fulfilling the duty of signing the witness line because the person I picked can't?" Talk about a punch in the stomach. My mother will be horrified that I want a male bridesmaid much less MOH so she won't witness. I could ask Rachel, but its a well known secret we can't stand each other so that would make Monica feel even worse. Heck, she's bound to feel awful unless I pick her. If I can't have my brother I am picking her even if she is being difficult right now, of my two sister's I'm closer to her. Who to choose my brother or Monica?
How important is the maid of honour these days? Is the position worth the drama? Who would you pick? If I pick my brother how do I handle finding someone to sign as a witness? If I pick my sister, what can I do to give my brother a special role? Its really important to me that he's involved!
If its okay, I'd also like to remove this discussion in a month or two. I would hate for my sister to see this someday. Thanks for reading!