I didn't realize when I got engaged to my fiancé how big of an issue my family would be... But the fairly short family drama story goes like this. 12 years ago, My dad cheated on my mom and left her for the other woman. Since then my dad met a different woman who he is common law with, and she dispises my mom and refuses to sit near her or acknowledge her (as proven by other events).
On top of that basic drama, my FMIL met my family at our engagement party a few months ago. It didn't go well, the day of went decently but afterwards we heard from my mom that she can't stand my fiancé's mother because she's so outspoken and obnoxious and my fiance's mom told my fiancé that she thinks my mom is rude and ignorant. Since they won't see each other again until the wedding, I'm a little concerned that someone might say something to stir that issue up. We're hoping if we seat them as far away from each other as possible (we have all 23 guests sitting at one long banquet table), it might resolve that problem.
Lastly, and most recently my 18 year old brother asks me who is being invited to our day, (my fiancé and I have decided that it will be immediate family only in order to try to elimate picking favorites between friends and aunts/uncles/cousins), so I ask him why he wants to know, and he says that my mom has been meaning to talk to me about this. Apparently my Italian grandparents (moms parents) don't agree with me having a small untraditional wedding and are threatening to disown me if I don't invite my uncle and his two (extremely horribly behaved) children. My uncle is a bitter divorcee and has said some extremely inappropriate things to my fiancé and I when he found out we were engaged (basically that we were crazy and that it will never last) and on top of that we don't ever see him or talk to him. Also we have decided that absolutely no extended family can be invited in order not to offend my fiances uncles and aunts.
I want to stand my ground and tell everyone that this is our day and if they don't like it, not to come! But my dad says that I should just invite him to make everyone happy. I completely disagree, especially since my fiancé and I are the only ones paying for it.
We're getting married in 7 months and I would love to hear some other opinions! Please help!