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No father rule?

Yankees413Yankees413
First Comment
in Moms and Maids
Sorry, I didn't know where to post this. 

I have not..for nicer terms..been very close to my father. After they divorced, there were a lot of issues, including him trying to rip us off as far as child support and things of that nature. Basically, I don't want to invite him. 

My FI has had possibly worse connections to his father, his father is now back in Peru and we don't have an idea exactly where he is.

We are considering a "no fathers" rule for our wedding. but I am concerned that my family on that side doesn't see that side of him and may barrage me with questions of why he wasn't invited. I don't want to be thinking about that while I am trying to plan a wedding and go through my senior year. How do I stick to my guns? or roll over to make my family happy?
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Re: No father rule?

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    DeannaCWDeannaCW member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    Don't invite him if you really don't want to, but don't tell people he won't be there either. I see no need to announce that fact if it'll cause you undue stress.
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    kmmssgkmmssg mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Your bio says your wedding is 4 years out.  Is this correct?  If so, you don't even need to be worrying about this or discussing it with any relatives right now.  It is way too early to make any kind of plans right now.  Don't let this stress you out right now - it is a non-issue for at least another 2 1/2 years or so.
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    KJeffsKJeffs
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    If your wedding isn't for 4 years..stop thinking about it and finish high school. Then you can start making plans for the rest of your life.
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    OBX2011OBX2011 member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited May 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_no-father-rule?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:a6b4fe12-219c-4436-82e4-3e72efeee432Post:7193a248-78a4-4c10-9be7-ca6bf1204d84">No father rule?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Sorry, I didn't know where to post this.  I have not..for nicer terms..been very close to my father. After they divorced, there were a lot of issues, including him trying to rip us off as far as child support and things of that nature. Basically, I don't want to invite him.  My FI has had possibly worse connections to his father, his father is now back in Peru and we don't have an idea exactly where he is. We are considering a "no fathers" rule for our wedding. but I am concerned that my family on that side doesn't see that side of him and may barrage me with questions of why he wasn't invited. I don't want to be thinking about that while I am trying to plan a wedding and go through my senior year. How do I stick to my guns? or roll over to make my family happy?
    Posted by Yankees413[/QUOTE]

    If in your heart of hearts you really don't want either father there, then you need to make that a final decision and be firm with it.  You do not need to explain yourself to anyone, but don't be surprised though if your family asks why he isn't there.  It's only natural of them to probably wonder why he isn't there, but all you need to say is that you felt it was the best decision and leave it at that.

    Hope this works out for you!

    ETA:  and I agree with PP's about the wedding date thing....

     

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    Yankees413Yankees413
    First Comment
    edited May 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_no-father-rule?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:a6b4fe12-219c-4436-82e4-3e72efeee432Post:98e7478d-9aa7-4dd4-94ba-958c20108979">Re: No father rule?</a>:
    [QUOTE]If your wedding isn't for 4 years..stop thinking about it and finish high school. Then you can start making plans for the rest of your life.
    Posted by KJeffs[/QUOTE]

    <div>I am not in high school. I am in college. When I get married, I will be weeks off from getting my B.S. in biochemistry and hopfeully going to med school the following fall. </div>
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    Yankees413Yankees413
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_no-father-rule?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:a6b4fe12-219c-4436-82e4-3e72efeee432Post:23280d32-e7ee-4766-b751-4f8a043abf7b">Re: No father rule?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Your bio says your wedding is 4 years out.  Is this correct?  If so, you don't even need to be worrying about this or discussing it with any relatives right now.  It is way too early to make any kind of plans right now.  Don't let this stress you out right now - it is a non-issue for at least another 2 1/2 years or so.
    Posted by kmmssg[/QUOTE]

    <div>Thanks. :)</div>
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    Yankees413Yankees413
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_no-father-rule?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:a6b4fe12-219c-4436-82e4-3e72efeee432Post:98075321-5bdf-4279-b440-97afa3beb161">Re:No father rule?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re:No father rule?: If this is your senior year, and you'll be getting married weeks before you receive your degree, does that mean your wedding is In a year? Or is it in 4?
    Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

    <div>I am not in high school! I was in communiity college for two years and I am transfering to a 4  year college this fall. Since many of my credits didn't transfer over properly, i will be a transfer as well as a freshman. I will be 23 at my wedding in 4 years.</div><div>
    </div><div>(Awesome Icon by the way! Umbrella corp)</div>
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