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How long would you date someone if you felt no chemistry?

taralee1983taralee1983 member
10 Comments
edited January 2015 in Not Engaged Yet
Looking back, I only gave it one date. I was wondering if I was being too harsh.

How long would you date someone if you felt no chemistry? 28 votes

One date.
32% 9 votes
Two dates.
35% 10 votes
Three dates.
25% 7 votes
Four or more dates.
3% 1 vote
Chemistry doesn't matter.
3% 1 vote

Re: How long would you date someone if you felt no chemistry?

  • So I couldn't really vote because my option wasn't there but for me if I don't feel chemistry with the person before we date I will not be dating someone. So I normally become friends with someone and if there is something there we address it, simply put.

     

    I think if I was dating per a dating website like match.com or tinder, my perspective might change. If I feel uncomfortable with someone I probably will stop after the first date.

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  • Ollie08Ollie08 Central FL member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Name Dropper
    Like @ChemFanatic25‌ it really depends on the situation. If I went on a date with someone I met online and they just completely turned me off, or were totally creepy, I wouldn't go on another date. If I met someone and just didn't feel a spark, but everything else is great about the guy, I might give it a few more dates to see if the chemistry is there but we were nervous or something.

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  • Ollie08Ollie08 Central FL member
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    Swazzle said:

    Judging from your posting history, you're either doing research or you're a troll. Or both?

    Whyyyyy does mobile not show posting history? I tried to look before responding.

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    Swazzle
  • jenna8984jenna8984 clam bakes & patriots member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    Ollie08 said:
    Judging from your posting history, you're either doing research or you're a troll. Or both?
    Whyyyyy does mobile not show posting history? I tried to look before responding.
    Yup. All kinds of shitshow posts over on Chit Chat.

                                                                     

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  • SwazzleSwazzle New Jersey member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Oh THIS was a fun read.



    speakeasy14
  • lmcooper86lmcooper86 Toronto member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
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    speakeasy14AuroraRose41
  • As long as he's buying my food and gas and paying my bills, I'll date him.  Who cares about the chemistry, I'm just looking for a sugah daddy. 
    audrewuhparkera92
  • lilacck28lilacck28 member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    edited January 2015
    Regardless of troll status... this type of conversation always tends to confuse me. I don't know what most people mean by "spark" or "chemistry." I met FI online. I liked emailing with him. We went on a date, and talked for 3 hours over coffee. It was really easy to talk to him, and we had a LOT in common. He was wearing this brown, too big for him polo shirt though. Made him look WAY skinny. And he was SO obviously nervous. Maybe that had something to do with it, but I wasn't like "OMG I WANT YOU!"

    Is that what people mean when they talk about chemistry? wanting to kiss someone right away? wanting to jump someone? I didn't have that with FI. On the second date I felt a little more comfortable with him, and he felt more comfortable and acted less nervous... and he was wearing his work clothes (button down... rolled up sleeves...work pants... sunglasses since we were outside... ahhhhh! It's a good look on him.)

    Still, I didn't feel the need to pounce him. It was more, I liked him a lot, I liked being around him and talking to him, and I considered him quite attractive (I tend to be more... "you are objectively attractive, your face is symmetrical, you have a nice jaw bone and brow bone, etc" than "ahh! he's so hot!" Maybe that's an artist thing? I never look at guys and think "so hot!")

    ... down the road I always felt like touching him, being near him, etc. Still, that doesn't seem to match my sense of what people mean when they say "chemistry" and "spark." Or is that exactly what people mean? Spark just sounds like... some instant "Its you! My soulmate!" or instant "wow, I want you!" type of thing.
    marylab
  • I generally give guys three dates, since everyone is always super nervous on the first date. I was set up on a blind date with my BF, and we both call our coffee first date our "pre-date". Our mom's set us up, and we wanted to make sure neither of us were BSC. After our first real date (mini golfing, so fun!) I went over to a friends house and I told her that I just went on a first date with my future husband. So I guess that's chemistry? After one date knowing that there is definitely a future with some one? We were super connected and we definitely have a future, and for the first several dates I did have the "wow, he's really attractive I want to jump you" feeling. And I still feel that way about him. Even if the attraction hadn't been THAT strong on that first date, I would've gone out with him at least one more time to make sure it wasn't a nerves/best behavior issue.
  • Doing research I think...similar question up at Weddingbee (yes, I lurk for the entertainment value)... CLICKY
  • SwazzleSwazzle New Jersey member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Those are all the same questions she asked on CC....



  • As someone who is recently single for the first time in a long time, the rule I made for myself was 2 dates, assuming nerves might come into play.  I think if youfind some one reasonably attractive (which is different than being attracted to someone) and they were/ nice/ funny/ smart/ kind they deserve another shot.

    I think though more times than not, chemistry is instant.

  • minskat30 said:
    Doing research I think...similar question up at Weddingbee (yes, I lurk for the entertainment value)... CLICKY
    And the plot thickens... 
    image
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