North Carolina

dress frustration

I visited 4 bridal shops in the CLT area last week.  Found nothing to try on at the first 3.  Tried on 3 Maggie Sottero dresses at New York Bridal.  One was okay, but not exactly what I envisioned. 

Spent the past weekend in Baltimore/DC.  Went to a bridal salon in Baltimore that was highly recommended by MD knotties (Bridals by Elena).  Had a wonderful experience there, but again didn't find the one.  I found one that had potential, but it was expensive and if I'm going to spend over $2k on a dress, I would like it to be exactly what I'm looking for. The bridal store owner told me it was going to be very difficult to find what I want because 99% of brides buy strapless dresses.

I want a mermaid style (fit and flare), halter or v-neck top. I didn't realize how frustrating it was going to be to find what I'm looking for.  I really wanted something a little different than what I've seen all of my brides wear.  I've worked with over 80 brides over the years....trying to find a dress that isn't similar to one of my clients' is definitely a challenge! 

Im going to try one more bridal shop in Charlotte (Dar-Lynns) before figuring out an alternative.  I may shop around in Atlanta when I have to go there next month. 

Did any of you have your dress customized?  The dress I liked in MD would be almost perfect if the train was cut off and the back was a corset back instead of tiny buttons all the way down.  The salon owner said the back of the dress could be altered, but I imagine it would be very expensive.  The designer's website doesn't offer the dress with a corset back as an option.


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Re: dress frustration

  • momofaydenmomofayden member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    You can get anything altered by Olga for much cheaper.

    It took me a year to find my dress.  keep looking....you will find it! :)
  • edited December 2011
    A year-  yikes!! :) I thought the dress would be the easy part, but I'm finding that most stores don't even carry the styles I like.  I'm going to call ahead before visiting other stores.  I wonder if Olga can convert the back of a dress to corset. I thought she just did simple size alterations, but maybe that is worth looking into.
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  • alliegator8alliegator8 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    Finding a dress was by far the most frustrating part of the wedding proces for me.  I finally found a dress in May after looking for 10 months.  I was so frustrted and didn't even want to go into another dress shop.

    I ended up going with a Mori Lee Voyage dress. It's number 6305.  I tried on a dress that was similar to that one at Bridalmart in Burlington. So I knew I had the right size and kinda the same look.  It is a halter (I cannot pull off the strapless look).  It isn't quite a mermaid cut, but it is tight through the hips and butt. I ended up ordering it from Pearls Place. It was $300 and was delivered yesterday (almost a month early) 

    Good luck! I know how frustrating it can be!



  • edited December 2011
    What about Kleinfeld's in NY? 
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  • Beth0882Beth0882 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Have you searched online to see if you can find anything you like?  If you found some online you could just search for a place that carried that dress.
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  • edited December 2011
    Allie- 10 months!?

    I love your dress! that is exactly the style of top that I like...BUT, one of my brides wore the same dress last May.  It looked amazing on her,  but there is my dilemma :) if it's a beautiful dress, chances are one of my bride's has worn it.  I really like the way yours is fitted, instead of A-line. It gives me hope that I can find something a little more affordable than the one I liked in MD too.

    Elizabeth-  We go to NYC sometimes in the fall, but I'm afraid to go to Kleinfeld's.  I've watched say Yes to the Dress and it seems like everyone who goes there has a $5000 and up dress budget. I would like to spend less than $2000.

    Beth- I found designers online that I like.  The shops I've visited so far carry A-line dresses by those designers, but not many fitted silhouettes. 
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  • edited December 2011

    Forgive me Kate, I don't remember your wedding date.

    Olga also makes custom gowns. I remember another knottie saying that Olga made her dream gown at a fraction of the price that she would have paid for it. I would give her a call.

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  • edited December 2011
    Really? I had no idea Olga was so talented. I've heard of her for years.  We set our date for May 18, 2011 in Aruba.  :)
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  • edited December 2011
    I'm not sure how many halter/v-neck options they have, but a new Priscilla of Boston salon just opened in Raleigh.  It's in the Cameron Village (very swanky) shopping center.  I drove by the other day and drooled a little bit :) It may be worth checking out.....like a very mini version of Kleinfelds? 
    image Matt & Ashley 5.08.10
  • edited December 2011
    Oh, then you definitely have time... I would give her a call! :o)
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  • meredithl618meredithl618 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I think you shouldn't really worry about what your other brides have worn. There are millions of dresses, just look for what you want.  But, it's almost impossible to be completely different from all of those other dresses, so don't stress too much about that.  Maybe look at more current styles that are just coming out so you can see new stuff.

    Also, if it's A-line, depending on the waist and some other factors, it can usually be tailored into a fit and flare/mermaid style. 

    Just keep looking! I think you should come to the Raleigh area and visit some of our stores...Traditions, Victorian Rose, Priscilla of Boston, Enchanting Moments, and Alexia's. I would be shocked if you couldn't find something from any of those.  OR, Diva's in Greensboro. We went there while looking for a dress for my mom and I loved their selection. I wish I had gone dress shopping there!  

    Also, the more specific you are about what you want and any alterations you want to make, the more the price will go up. So just be prepared. 
  • edited December 2011
    You absolutely deserve to be ecstatic about your dress once you've found it. But honestly I wouldn't think you could find vneck fit and flare and under 2000 that you haven't seen "one of your brides wear." Speaking of... who are your brides? I'm a bit confused about that. I certainly understand not wanting a dress identical to a close friends but otherwise I think you might have to eliminate that qualifier or go way up in your budget as you are looking in the most accessible price point so if you've really come across that many brides and don't want what any of them have ever had... you will have a likely very long road ahead. If you are up for the long road and the hunt, go for it. I would just choose to not care about all the dresses you've seen others wear, just think of all the people out there who have worn the dresses we've worn in our weddings. But I doubt a single person who was at or will likely ever even see my wedding photos will have seen it on another actual bride.
    Good luck.
    imageLilypie First Birthday tickers
  • edited December 2011
    Thanks Meredith and Ashley- I may consider heading to Raleigh if I can't find anything in the Clt area.  :)

    Kristy - I have a studio about 20 min north of clt.  Ive been photographing weddings on and off for 10 years; full-time for 5 years.  When I refer to my brides, I mean my clients.  I'm actually working on a wedding album design today for a bride who had a beautiful mermaid style dress...but, I wouldn't want to wear the same dress. I can't explain it....I become friends with my brides and it would just feel odd to buy the same dress.  When I sit here retouching pics and viewing a bride in her dress hour after hour...in my mind it just becomes her dress, unique to her.  :) 

    I'm flexible on budget, so maybe I should consider raising it. I'm just naturally frugal and can't see spending a lot on a dress.  I never buy name brands or spend $ on anything other than my business.  My fiance tells me the sky is the limit- plan it the way I want, but I can't...! I'm too practical.  I'm negotiating with resorts now and I'll probably end up going with the one that offers the best deal.
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  • edited December 2011
    oh and i should add that my mom and sister are wedding photographers too....out of all of the weddings we've photographed, none of the brides have worn the same dress....which gives me hope!!  For a couple of years there, we did keep seeing the same bridesmaid dress though.  It was long with pick-ups and a colorful sash that tied around the waist.  We have had at least 10-15 weddings between us with that bridesmaid dress over the years.
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  • edited December 2011
    Gotcha--Hey just a heads up. Now that I know what you mean by my brides, you are going to want to erase all comments that outs you as anything having to do with being a potential wedding vendor. Also any comments about your families services as well. I get it is your job, and we can mention ours until we are blue in the face, but you can't out yourself as a potential vendor or you will be immediately banned from the knot, even though you are a bride. So just be a bride... and never mention the my bride/photography thing. Wink
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  • edited December 2011
    Hi Kristy- thanks for the heads up! I emailed Laudanum this thread for her review.
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  • edited December 2011
    Kate, I don't think you would be banned unless a ton of people reported you... and clearly you aren't trying to promote your business, you've posted how many times and never once mentioned you were a photographer who specialized in weddings... you didn't reveal that information until being asked... so I wouldn't stress too much about it and I don't think anyone is going to report you either! :o)
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  • edited December 2011
    Thanks for the vote of confidence :) I did have one person email me for information on my business. I told her I couldn't give out that information because it's against Knot rules.  I really can't take on new clients right now but I can see how some would misinterpret my intentions.

    I had a ton of questions for Laudanum, hopefully she wont mind. :) I have recommended florists, DJs, and photographers unrelated to me on the forums, but maybe that is illegal too. ugh.
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  • edited December 2011
    could someone PM me Olga's contact info? 
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  • pirategal03pirategal03 member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
  • edited December 2011
    I didn't mean to bother, just hoping to keep things clean for you because yes, I have read many posts by you or that you have contributed to and never known... so I was just hoping to help you keep it under wraps since that isn't your intention for being on here. But having been on for a while I gave the recommendation to edit those comments as I've seen it be problematic for some other sincere Brides who have been or turned vendors.
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  • edited December 2011
    Have you looked at any Pronovias dresses?  The have a ton of styles that are fit and flare with straps.  The Lily Rose is a great place to check out.  Go during a trunk show - they bring more styles and there is usually a discount.
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_north-carolina_dress-frustration?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:115Discussion:519b4eb5-4f1c-4795-85e1-67faeed7bb2fPost:0c7145c2-e014-41e5-95b2-81e875490fae">dress frustration</a>:
    [QUOTE]I visited 4 bridal shops in the CLT area last week.  Found nothing to try on at the first 3.  Tried on 3 Maggie Sottero dresses at New York Bridal.  One was okay, but not exactly what I envisioned.  Spent the past weekend in Baltimore/DC.  Went to a bridal salon in Baltimore that was highly recommended by MD knotties (Bridals by Elena).  Had a wonderful experience there, but again didn't find the one.  I found one that had potential, but it was expensive and if I'm going to spend over $2k on a dress, I would like it to be exactly what I'm looking for. The bridal store owner told me it was going to be very difficult to find what I want because 99% of brides buy strapless dresses. I want a mermaid style (fit and flare), halter or v-neck top. I didn't realize how frustrating it was going to be to find what I'm looking for.  I really wanted something a little different than what I've seen all of my brides wear.  I've worked with over 80 brides over the years....trying to find a dress that isn't similar to one of my clients' is definitely a challenge!  Im going to try one more bridal shop in Charlotte (Dar-Lynns) before figuring out an alternative.  I may shop around in Atlanta when I have to go there next month. <strong> Did any of you have your dress customized?</strong>  The dress I liked in MD would be almost perfect if the train was cut off and the back was a corset back instead of tiny buttons all the way down.  The salon owner said the back of the dress could be altered, but I imagine it would be very expensive.  The designer's website doesn't offer the dress with a corset back as an option.
    Posted by CLTKate[/QUOTE]

    i actually bought a dress from David's Bridal that had the shape and lace that i loved but took it to olga to have several customizations done...changed neck line, altered tiers, reset lace, changed drape, changed zipper to corset, etc....i couldn't find any dress that had everything i wanted...i would find one that had a perfect neckline but not the right body, perfect drape but no lace, etc.....olga really can take a dress and make it yours by customizing these changes...if you want to know how much olga charged me for the things i had done, email me at midnite007x at aol dot com
  • edited December 2011
    Vintage Glam- I live near Lily Rose- it didn't even come up when I googled bridal shops so I didn't even know about it. I may stop in there  this week. I do like Pronovias. I always thought I would end up with a Maggie Sottero dress- they are gorgeous, but I haven't found anything that fits what I'm looking for on their site.  I have an old Knot magazine from 2007 that has a Sottero dress I really like, but I can't find dresses from 2007 when I search for them online.  I wouldn't know how to get one.  I like Demetrios and Martina Liana too. 

    Manda- I would love more information. I could go with the dress I loved in MD, but I assume alterations would be $500-$1000 so that would bump the price up to well over $3k.  If alterations were more affordable, I might consider it.
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  • momofaydenmomofayden member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_north-carolina_dress-frustration?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:115Discussion:519b4eb5-4f1c-4795-85e1-67faeed7bb2fPost:54132921-ec18-4ec9-9cfc-723bdd555cd7">Re: dress frustration</a>:
    [QUOTE]A year-  yikes!! :) I thought the dress would be the easy part, but I'm finding that most stores don't even carry the styles I like.  I'm going to call ahead before visiting other stores.  I wonder if Olga can convert the back of a dress to corset. I thought she just did simple size alterations, but maybe that is worth looking into.
    Posted by CLTKate[/QUOTE]


    Olga had to take my dress in 6 inches, remove lace and beading to alter the length and width and then put it back on.  She can do very complex dresses and she can most definitely take a regualr back and make it into a corset.
  • momofaydenmomofayden member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Also I couldn't find any of the dresses i liked in the stores either.  That's why it took so long.  I finally went to Diamonds bridal and she ordered the dress I had been coveting for almost 7 months and after trying on atleast 200 dresses. I called every salon in NC, VA, WVa, SC, NY, NJ......no one had it or would get it for me.   She ordered it in my size and color and when it came in I would be the first to try on.  If it liked it, it was mine; if not, she would keep it as a sample.  Of course it was finally the one.  The dress was the hardest part!
  • edited December 2011
    you tried on 200 dresses!!!?? Did you not have any idea of what you wanted in the beginning?  I've been to 5 bridal salons so far and tried on 6 dresses.  I made myself try on 3 that I didn't love because I've heard you cant tell how they will look if you judge them on the hanger. I don't have the patience to try on so many.  But then again, I hate shopping and order most of my clothes online.  :)

    I'm so happy to hear the news about Olga. I talked to Chad today about the dress issue and he told me to get the one I like and see if Olga can make changes to it.  I would like to try on a few more before committing to make sure it's the one.  It's a heavy silk dress that is a little more elaborate than i envisioned for a beach wedding.


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  • ecuchikaecuchika member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I am only slightly new to the wedding dress part only been to 3 salons and at one I didn't even try a dress on due to a stupid rule of paying to see the wedding dresses.

    But at one salon all their dresses had a zip up back and I only want corset.  Well they said its really easy to change a zipper to a corset back.  I think the cost would be $45.00  So its not out of the question for being totally expensive. 

    I hope this helps!

    I think you are fine--it must be hard to casually talk about stuff and have to really watch about how you talk about "work".  I don't think you have ever tried promoting yourself as a wedding photog/vendor! You really watch what you say.

    I think that bride that tried contacting you wasn't trying to get you in trouble either...I doubt that there is any bride on here that purposly tries to get another in trouble.Wink


    Also, I think there are thousands of dresses out there for you to try on.  Many of them are very similar to each other too but with differences.  Hopefully you can find one that isn't too similar to the other dresses you have seen. But I wouldn't knock a dress before trying it on.

    Short story: I was prom dress shopping and the consultant pulled this dress..I told my mom I don't like that well the consult talked my mom into talking me into trying it on...I refused to take it off I LOVED IT!!! I had my mom buy it that day and I was so freaking happy!!!! Not to brag but it looked amazing on me the color and everything even though at first glance I was like- not a red dress!

    So I'm taking that with me in the wedding dress world and not going to knock a dress before I actually see it on me!Tongue out
  • edited December 2011
    You have to pay to see the dresses at some places? That doesn't sound very good for business :)

    I had no idea that the back of a dress could be changed so easily. I'm starting to feel better about finding a dress. I didnt realize how much could be altered on the original design.  I'm going to make an appt with a bridal boutique in Davidson that carries the designer I like.  It's only a 5 min drive from me. Darlynns would be about an hour from me and they don't carry the designer so I may just skip going there altogether.

    I'm starting to be okay with spending a little more $ on the perfect dress. I had a conversation with a neighbor last night who said she flew to LA to get a Vera Wang dress.  My jaw almost dropped lol!! I guess my dress budget isn't as extravagant as I thought.  :)

    I ended up with a sequin red prom dress too that I would have never picked out!! Salespeople at those places know what they're doing.  :)


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