So it's slow-ish here, and I leave in 5 min. so I decided it was too late to start something new at work. So I was lurking on Etiquette and saw this:
http://forums.theknot.com/discussion/1052539/how-would-you-handle-thisI used to read these and think "MOBs be crazy, yo" even though my own mom wasn't very crazy at all, thankfully. But now that I have a couple of kids, this behavior is just inexcusable and incomprehensible to me. Especially when the MOBs have some sort of vision that everything else gets sacrificed to. Maybe Wooz trained me early when she started picking out her clothes at 18 mo., but I feel like if she wants to marry a dude or a woman and wants to do it on the beach or in our backyard or even [gulp] in a church*, hey, be happy, here's some $$. You know? Maybe I'm just not wedding-y enough, but I just don't feel personally invested in other people's decisions. I guess if DH and I were footing the bill and she wanted a floral arrangement that spelled out "FUCK YOU MOM & DAD" then we'd have problems. But she wants German food and I don't really care for German food? It's one night of my life, I'll hit the bread basket and get some schnitzel.
Maybe it's easy for me to say when my kids are still little, and maybe we'll have all sorts of baggage by the time they're old enough to marry. But even the MOG posts--"I keep inviting her to wedding things and she says no, do you think she thinks I'm taking her little boy away?" Fuck no, if he's an actual little boy then you can't marry him, and after that it's his call.
Maybe I don't love my kids enough, maybe I'm lazy, but assuming no one is trying to do anything illegal or immoral (e.g. cash bar), if she's happy and he's happy, I don't give two figs about food stations vs. plated meals or whatever.
* I wouldn't try to talk Wooz out of a church wedding if that's what she and her FI wanted, but at the same time, I don't see that happening. Aside from us not raising her religious, that child has a fierce anti-authoritarian streak that seems wildly incompatible with organized religion or military service. But who knows?