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Can I ask my friend to be my MOH even if her wedding is in the same year than mine?

knottiefromgermanyknottiefromgermany member
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in Wedding 911
My best friend and I both got engaged last year about a month apart.
My fiancé and I were certain very early that we wanted to have a civil wedding in 2015 followed by a symbolic wedding in 2016. Therefore we made an appointment in town hall to be married on September 5th very early on.
My friend is having her civil wedding end of June and the catholic ceremony end of September.

Can I still ask her to be my Maid of Honor or would that be inappropriate and selfish? I don't expect her to do anything (like planning etc.) I just want her to be there with me on my wedding day.

I'd really appreciate your thoughts on the subject!
where there is love,there is life - Ghandi
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Re: Can I ask my friend to be my MOH even if her wedding is in the same year than mine?

  • larrygagalarrygaga member
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    Read through this!


    Why not just combine your civil and symbolic like everyone else?

    Both of you need to read through the etiquette board. It's okay! Not everyone knows what is polite at a wedding, because most people don't get married more than once or twice. How would you know? 

    Anyway, yes you can ask her. It's not a big deal. You might need to have a very low budget dress for her, make sure you ask her what her dress budget is!
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  • thespeshulestsnowflakethespeshulestsnowflake member
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    Knottie04802116 said:

    My best friend and I both got engaged last year about a month apart.

    My fiancé and I were certain very early that we wanted to have a civil wedding in 2015 followed by a symbolic wedding in 2016. Therefore we made an appointment in town hall to be married on September 5th very early on.
    My friend is having her civil wedding end of June and the catholic ceremony end of September.

    Can I still ask her to be my Maid of Honor or would that be inappropriate and selfish? I don't expect her to do anything (like planning etc.) I just want her to be there with me on my wedding day.

    I'd really appreciate your thoughts on the subject!
    Why 2 ceremonies? Are you in Europe? I know some countries there do actually require a separate civil and religious ceremonies. But I don't get why either are so far apart.
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  • knottiefromgermanyknottiefromgermany member
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    edited March 2015
    We are from Germany and the law requires you to have a civil wedding apart from a religious/symbolic one. That said the civil wedding will be with just MOH/BM, parents and no whtite dresses etc. It's just the formality that has to be done.
    For my fiancé and I the reason the weddings are so far apart is that we are planning to have a destination wedding for our "real" wedding and this just takes a lot more planning than going to the town hall in my hometown.
    where there is love,there is life - Ghandi
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  • theartistformerlyknownastheartistformerlyknownas member
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    Knottie04802116 said:

    We are from Germany and the law requires you to have a civil wedding apart from a religious/symbolic one. That said the civil wedding will be with just MOH/BM, parents and no whtite dresses etc. It's just the formality that has to be done.

    For my fiancé and I the reason the weddings are so far apart is that we are planning to have a destination wedding for our "real" wedding and this just takes a lot more planning than going to the town hall in my hometown.
    Then why don't you also move the civil one closer to that date? It would still rub me the wrong way to know you had been legally married for SO LONG before the symbolic one, even if two ceremonies are required.

    That being said, there's nothing wrong or selfish with asking this of her. The only commitment it will require is being there on the day of; as long as you're not getting married the same day (days?) as her, who cares? Be sure you ask her budget for her dress so you're not overextending her finances when she also has a wedding to plan.
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  • hashtag43016hashtag43016 member
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    You could totally ask! She has a claim on the wedding day, not the entire year. :) Plus, if she's your best friend, she is going to want to be there for you. 
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  • mikenbergermikenberger member
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    edited March 2015
    Knottie74386764 said:

    You could totally ask! She has a claim on the wedding day, not the entire year. :) Plus, if she's your best friend, she is going to want to be there for you. 

    Correction: they each are requiring two days.

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  • southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
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    I don't see any issue with asking her to be in your wedding. 

    I agree with lolo though, I would side eye the civil and symbolic ceremonies being so far apart. It just wouldn't make much sense for me to attend when the B&G had been married for months or even a year... 

    Even in municipalities where civil is required separately, it usually happens very close to the symbolic wedding/party.
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  • bananasplit472001bananasplit472001 member
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    Since you live in Germany and only a handful of people are attending the civil ceremony I think it is ok to have them on the dates you picked.  If you ask you friend to be MOH just understand she may not be able to make it to both.  Let her make that decision. 
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