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Alternative to bridesmaids/additional way to honor friends?

njbride2015njbride2015 member
First Anniversary First Comment Name Dropper
edited March 2015 in Moms and Maids
Not sure how to close a post on here? - got all the feedback I needed - thanks!
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Re: Alternative to bridesmaids/additional way to honor friends?

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    Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
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    Just remember that inviting your friends to your wedding is also an honor.  How many friends are we talking about?  If just one or two then you can ask each of them to do a reading during your ceremony. But other then bridesmaid, groomsman, reader, flower girl and ring bearer there are no other honorary roles.

    But I don't see any issue with inviting them to come and get ready with you the day of if they would like.

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    Lauderdale PinkLauderdale Pink member
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    Sounds like a minefield to me.  Somebody is going to feel slighted for not being mentioned.  A wedding is a time for the bride and groom and is a "thank-you" for those who are attending.  No extra honors are needed. This is not a bar/bat mitzvah where guests are called upon to light candles.  People who are not in the wedding party do not expect or need any honors. Guests are there to share your joy and celebrate your marriage.
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    tcnobletcnoble member
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    I was in a wedding last summer where the bride wanted even sides so for the friends she "couldn't" ask to be bridesmaids she asked them to be her "personal attendants" which was a polite way of saying her personal bitch for the day. They got to come get ready with us and everything, which she could have allowed without giving them ridiculous fake honorary titles.

    People don't need titles or jobs to feel special. They will be happy to be attending and witnessing your marriage. 
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    Jen4948Jen4948 member
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    Just being a guest at a wedding is an "honor."

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    OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom member
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    Looking for help from someone who has actually done this, been part of it,  or witnessed it as a guest:

    Bridal party will be family.  I am looking for another way to honor my close friends (who would have been bridesmaids if we didn't keep it to just family). 



    Has anyone directly experienced a creative way in doing this (called out these women in the program, given them corsages, had them come for hair/makeup, etc) and what was the experience like?  THANKS!

    Ditto Maggie.  Only WP or reader are acceptable honors.  Everything else just looks like a consolation prize.  You can certainly invite them to hair & make up, but don't make them feel like they have to do this.  You could give them corsages, but that might show further favortism between your other friends attending the wedding.

    Do NOT do personal attendants, house party, gift table hostess, program hander outer, or any other crap job.  Allow them the honor of being guests and enjoy you wedding festivities.

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    MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its

    You can go to far with that sort of thing. If you honor some guests more than others, you run the risk of making your other guests feel unimportant.

    You could host lunch or organize a friend's night out.

                       
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    Dreamergirl8812Dreamergirl8812 member
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    OP, those articles are crap. For example, "Bridal Brigades" are stupid. And don't tell you friends who aren't in the wedding party to wear a certain color. That amounts to telling adults how to dress without honoring them in any way. And anklets? Really?

    Being your guest is an honor. I'm sure you have a lot going on and some wedding-related stress, so just drop this idea (one less thing to worry about!).



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    danamwdanamw member
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    Really, if I am not a bridesmaid, I understood it was just family, I just want to be a guest.

    No special mention in a program, no shoutouts, no silly titles. If we are friends, I know how it is, and I just want to eat your superior wedding food, and have a nice day with hub.

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    mikenbergermikenberger member
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    dmnj said:

    Looking for help from someone who has actually done this, been part of it,  or witnessed it as a guest:


    Bridal party will be family.  I am looking for another way to honor my close friends (who would have been bridesmaids if we didn't keep it to just family). 

    Has anyone directly experienced a creative way in doing this (called out these women in the program, given them corsages, had them come for hair/makeup, etc) and what was the experience like?  THANKS!

    POST UPDATE (based on some of the responses, trying to clarify my question) - These are articles I've read - I'm asking if anyone has experienced something along these lines firsthand and had some good feedback:

    http://lover.ly/planning/wedding-planning/alternatives-to-having-a-traditional-bridal-party/15203/




    Ew. No. If your friends don't understand that the bridal party is just family, then they pretty much suck as friends. You don't have to make them a second string bridal party.

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    Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    dmnj said:

    POST UPDATE (based on some of the responses, trying to clarify my question) - These are articles I've read - I'm asking if anyone has experienced something along these lines firsthand and had some good feedback:

    http://lover.ly/planning/wedding-planning/alternatives-to-having-a-traditional-bridal-party/15203/

    No.

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    thespeshulestsnowflakethespeshulestsnowflake member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    dmnj said:

    Not sure how to close a post on here? - got all the feedback I needed - thanks!

    You can't close posts. And DD is considered very rude here.
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    drunkenwitchdrunkenwitch member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited March 2015
    Maggie0829 said:

    dmnj said:

    POST UPDATE (based on some of the responses, trying to clarify my question) - These are articles I've read - I'm asking if anyone has experienced something along these lines firsthand and had some good feedback:

    http://lover.ly/planning/wedding-planning/alternatives-to-having-a-traditional-bridal-party/15203/

    No.

    Mobile messes with boxes.

    MY EYES! Can't unsee!

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