HELP my future sister-in-law will be in her third trimester at our wedding!

Knottie1428340887 · April 2015

Lo, If you weren't so worked up, you'dve read my post from the beginning and realized the whole friggin thing was asking for gift ideas. So why are you still here?

Or is it just that hard to admit you never read to begin with...

theartistformerlyknownas · April 2015

Knottie1428340887 said:
Lo, If you weren't so worked up, you'dve read my post from the beginning and realized the whole friggin thing was asking for gift ideas. So why are you still here?

Or is it just that hard to admit you never read to begin with...

What you're doing is known as "back pedaling."

Knottie1428340887 · April 2015

How is it back pedaling if IT'S IN ALL OF MY FIRST FIVE POSTS.

What you're doing is trying not to look stupid. Because you didn't read.

[Deleted User] · April 2015

VulgarGirl · April 2015

What about a gay wallet? Buy her a gay wallet.

chibiyui · April 2015

.........

Casadena · April 2015

I've had a little (lots of) wine tonight, but seriously OP? Calm the F down.

P.S. @lolo883 forever!!!! Is that weird? I feel like that should be a thing.

mikenberger · April 2015

Dafuq?

maeday2 · April 2015

I was so distracted each time the OP called @lolo883, "Lo," that all I saw the whole time was this:

Heffalump · April 2015

PPs have covered this ever so well, so I'll just toss this in:

1. Two kids. Worked up until the day before I went into labor with #1 (and could have worked the day of, it just happened to be a Saturday), and to the Friday before #2 (who was born on a Monday morning, after a busy weekend that would have made work seem like a vacation). So the idea that someone in 3rd tri won't be able to function is just kind of...weird.

2. Jesus, lay off the foot massage. If you're so concerned about her, you should know that foot massage has been implicated in kicking off labor, due to pressure points in the foot. I'm no expert, so I don't have any definitive peer-reviewed studies or anything, but of all the things to get her, that one seems particularly bad.

Maggie0829 · April 2015

Wait, are you not allowed to eat fish when you are pregnant?

theartistformerlyknownas · April 2015

Maggie0829 said:
Wait, are you not allowed to eat fish when you are pregnant?

Nope, lots of types of fish are encouraged. Just not the ones that are high in mercury, like shark.

Maggie0829 · April 2015

lolo883 said:

Maggie0829 said:
Wait, are you not allowed to eat fish when you are pregnant?
Nope, lots of types of fish are encouraged. Just not the ones that are high in mercury, like shark.

Okay I figured. So assuming that OP is not serving shark at her wedding, then why the hell did her FI ask his sister if she wanted to change her meal? I mean if his sister eats only fish and veggies and can eat fish (besides shark) while pregnant then I don't get why she was asked if she wanted something else.

But then again, I can't understand 90% of this thread.

plainjane0415 · April 2015

southernbelle0915 said:
I would get her a puppy.

Everyone loves puppies.

MesmrEwe · April 2015

All I want to know is - how close to Bingo did we get????

(and OP - seriously, best gift for a pregnant woman -free babysitting AFTER baby arrives!!!)

southernbelle0915 · April 2015

Knottie1428340887 said:
Lo, If you weren't so worked up, you'dve read my post from the beginning and realized the whole friggin thing was asking for gift ideas. So why are you still here?

Or is it just that hard to admit you never read to begin with...

I feel like you're only paying attention to "Lo" and no one else. I put a lot of thought into my idea.

What about that puppy? Or a wallet for gays, as @MagicInk suggested? When I'm 6-7 months pregnant, a unicycle will be at the top of my list. Also the experience of swimming with dolphins would be right up there.

AddieCake · April 2015

Jashley? Are you back?

[Deleted User] · April 2015

Knottie1428340887 said:
Looking for advice on how to make her the most comfortable. "Ask her what she needs," you may say...but we've already done that and she said absolutely nothing (which every woman since the beginning of time knows is complete bull when you're 6-7 months). To add, her pregnancy is already complicated, as she's been hospitalized multiple times.

Is there anything I can do to make her day more comfortable and manageable??? In addition, we really don't get along, not for lack of trying, but she's never really liked me. (For some real perspective, I was the designated dog babysitter at her wedding last year). SO, extra kudos for any tips on handling that particular type of future sister-in-law who constantly pushes herself, will be at the tail end of a complicated pregnancy. Thanks in advance!!

Knottie1428340887 said:
I work with children, I completely understand that you can only control yourself (and fortunately so!), but I'm hoping someone on here has been that pregnant at a wedding and has a suggestion for what would have added relaxation to her day. Even if it ends up just being a gesture, at least I've done something!

I'm not looking to get into the drama of should she stay or come, or can she make her own choices. I simply want to do something for her, even if it's a small thing, to make her more comfortable.

Specifically to Lo, I'm not really sure why it's "bull" to want to make your own wedding more comfortable for someone who, if in attendance and she's adamant that that will be the case, may want it? I get that many women are of the opinion that this is their wedding and everyone else will have to deal with it, but let's be honest, being a guest at that type of wedding SUCKS balls. Kindly knock off the holier than thou attitude, at least I'm trying to do something nice, and you clearly have no useful advice...you simply like to talk. I deal with that all day, (and, sidenote, you seriously would have refused a professional foot massage at 7 months??!!), so please spare me.

Knottie1428340887 said:
Who is forcing anyone???! I'm simply wanting to buy her a massage for the afternoon, or something of the like. For someone who's all, it's her choice, she can CHOOSE whether or not she wants to use it. I'm looking for more ideas of relaxing experiences for her. IN WHAT SENTENCE DID YOU COMPREHEND FORCE???!

Bride-flipping-zilla was a look you never moved on from.

And I'll go even further to say I pray for your husband, particularly when he has to buy you a gift. Holy-cannoli that must be a dish-throwing night in your house.

Thank you to those who are providing more ideas, I'm planning on picking one or two that fit her personality, and she can do with them what she wishes! They are truly helpful, and I do appreciate your productive contribution.

Knottie1428340887 said:
IT IS A GIFT, not special treatment. Reading comprehension, please!!!!

THIS! This right here is the FIRST place you mention a GIFT! This entire post is just me quoting OP on only the first page. (emphasis mine) Never. Not once in your first five messages did you say you wanted to give her a gift. You keep spouting about how you want to do something for her, how you want her to accept a foot massage from you, how you want her to just tell you what she wants, how you can make her more comfortable, how you want her to have a relaxing experience. Fuck! If you just want to give her a gift, maybe use that fucking word so we don't have to read your mind.

Knottie1428340887 said:
I think, I mean maybe I'm a farmer's daughter, who knows...but I do think it's appropriate to go above and beyond for sister- and brother-in-laws on the day of the wedding. If the brother-in-law gets the nice room at the inn on our tab, why is it out of the question to try to think of something for the sister-in-law that also focuses on making her day more relaxing?? It's not as though someone will be following her around on the day of, but for any DW I think it's 100% appropriate to go a bit further for guests' comfort, particularly those who are close. You literally are in-flipping-sane and clearly based on the amount of posts you have on here, see more benefit with sad attempts to tear people down online than spending time with whatever family has the energy to deal with you.

Knottie1428340887 said:
RIght, I'm such a bitch for wanting ideas to add other possibilities to the list of foot massage. I want to get her ONE thing, and I want to know if there are better ideas out there before I gift it to her.

Such

A

Bitch

I should have known people who spend their time on message boards a) probably don't have little ones, nor would they have a clue about a special day-of gift to make the ceremony/reception more comfortable and b) are most likely miserable at any level of posts above 100.

And honestly at the end of the day (I have said this before, but go ahead and jump on in mid-conversation) I could care less if she doesn't use it. At least she knows I'm thankful of the fact that she schlepped over 100 miles to get to my wedding. Speaking of which and since you brought it up, who the fuck are YOU to say that's so awful of someone. Take your anger elsewhere, or just stuff it!

100 miles is schlepping? 100 miles makes a destination wedding?

I would love to be a close loved one at any of your destination weddings.

I mean, it's totally ok to pay for the lodging so long as the guests make it, right? Ok to pay for a rental car? Hell if you're that rich it's okay to pay for the whole trip.

What's not okay is wanting to get anything to make someone more comfortable. Even though we've done similar things for other guests. Somehow when it's for a pregnant woman that's where we draw the line.

And yet, if I got on here and balked about how pissy I was about having to do anything special for her, I'd be a bitch then too (I'm not, clearly). But you're they type of people who one just can't win against. You're also going to want to get the last word, yadda yadda. Being the happy, supportive women that you are.

Ummm, pretty sure massages are not an indication of any level of ability/disability/whatever. Pretty sure they're just awesome. I never should of assumed anonymity would result in inherent respect, it usually does the opposite as indicated here. But sure, I'm the not-nice-person. Right.
ashley8918 said:
RIght, I'm such a bitch for wanting ideas to add to the list of foot massage.

Such

A

Bitch

I should have known people who spend their time on message boards a) probably don't have little ones, nor would they have a clue about a special day-of gift to make the ceremony/reception more comfortable and b) are most likely miserable at any level of posts above 100.

And honestly at the end of the day (I have said this before, but go ahead and jump on in mid-conversation) I could care less if she doesn't use it. At least she knows I'm thankful of the fact that she schlepped over 100 miles, 30 of them on the ocean, to get to my wedding. Speaking of which and since you brought it up, who the fuck are YOU to say that's so awful of someone. Take your anger elsewhere, or just stuff it!

SHE DOESN'T FUCKING WANT A FOOT MASSAGE, leave her alone. Jesus.

And actually, I do have kids. Two of them. If someone had tried to treat me like I was handicapped during either of my pregancies, I would be incredibly insulted. She already hates you - back off before you completely destroy any chance of a relationship.

"And yet, if I got on here and balked about how pissy I was about having to do anything special for her, I'd be a bitch then too (I'm not, clearly)."

Not saying I'm not a bitch, read, please!!! I said that I'm not jumping on here complaining about having to provide special accommodations for her.

And it's the pregnant women in my life, who when I leave them alone, they bitch about how I'm not doing enough for them that I came here in the first place. It's a rock and a hard place.

MagicInk said:
Who the fuck are you responding to?!? Quote or tag. Fucking hell.

This is your wedding. She's not going to think it's the most glorious thing ever be cause it's not her fucking wedding.

If you want to thank her for coming because she's coming fine. Buy her a nice gift that's got fuck all to do with her being pregnant. But if you're only doing because she's pregnant you're doing it for the wrong reasons.

Also...what the fuck are you talking about all of our destination weddings? A lot of us here didn't have destination weddings.
Further proof that this bullshit is not my arena, and I'm actually pretty proud of that at this point.

Yeah, It definitely wasn't Lolo and the others who had the reading comprehension fail. I think you need to go back and re-read your posts before you hit "post reply" because you're obviously not telling us what you think you're telling us. If she says she doesn't want anything to make her more comfortable than any other guest, just get her what you're getting another guest. If you're paying for one friend's room, pay for hers. If you're taking some of the girls out for manis/pedis invite her to join you. If you're having chocolate covered strawberries sent to your FMIL's room, send the same to her room. The question does not need to be "what do I get for a Pregnant person?" it should be "what do I get for my FSIL (she happens to be pregnant if that helps with ideas)?" You might have actually gotten help if you asked it like that.

plainjane0415 · April 2015

Personally, I don't think you really want to do something nice for her. Just based off of your attitude here, I think you want to make her feel undermined, and you just want to pose it to us like you are getting her a gift.

You kept mentioning how much she didn't like you, and how you were responsible for watching her dog at her wedding, why do you care so much about getting her a gift? It's only your responsibility to host her properly if she is a guest at your wedding. She can decide on her own whether she wants to come or not, and pushing a gift specifically related to pregnancy just because she is pregnant would be pretty insulting. (to me anyway, if I was pregnant)

theartistformerlyknownas · April 2015

@adk19

PrettyGirlLost · April 2015

This thread is just fucking insane.

If I was the pregnant FSIL, no way in hell I'd travel in my 3rd
trimester to a DW on BFE Island that is miles and miles nad miles away
from actual civilization and advanced, experienced medical care.

Newp.

sophhabobopha · April 2015

Bingo?

levioosa · April 2015

What the hell did I miss?

flantastic · April 2015

I like how "Don't try to make her do a thing she said she doesn't want, and you don't really need to do anything extra for her, especially if she said not to. Respect what she says she wants, which is nothing" made you guys cheap bitches who refuse to do nice things for your loved ones and who think OP is terrible because she wants to give gifts of appreciation (a word she had yet to use).

How dare you all not foist unwanted "relaxation and comfort experiences" (because that is the only gift type possibility I can understand for a pregnant lady!) on your friends and family! Have you no generosity of spirit?

She never looked back.

theartistformerlyknownas · April 2015

Nope, I didn't realize giving unwanted foot rubs at weddings was now the standard for guest hospitality. I thought it was still crab cakes. Do-over?

flantastic · April 2015

lolo883 said:
Nope, I didn't realize giving unwanted foot rubs at weddings was now the standard for guest hospitality. I thought it was still crab cakes. Do-over?

@lolo883, from what I hear of your original wedding, it was a pretty sweet party. If you want to throw a PPD with crab cakes and invite me, I'll support your do-over. I suppose you could substitute an awkward foot rub for me in place of the crab cakes and I promise not to cringe too much, as long as the hosting elsewhere is up to snuff. You are also free to be like the kind OP and pay for my lodging.

theartistformerlyknownas · April 2015

flantastic said:

lolo883 said:
Nope, I didn't realize giving unwanted foot rubs at weddings was now the standard for guest hospitality. I thought it was still crab cakes. Do-over?
@lolo883, from what I hear of your original wedding, it was a pretty sweet party. If you want to throw a PPD with crab cakes and invite me, I'll support your do-over. I suppose you could substitute an awkward foot rub for me in place of the crab cakes and I promise not to cringe too much, as long as the hosting elsewhere is up to snuff. You are also free to be like the kind OP and pay for my lodging.

Well @flantastic the original had crab cakes! And a premium open bar, and baked brie! I didn't realize I was doing my guests such a disservice by not having foot rubs and hoombas. I DID get a special order entree for a pregnant friend since I knew the mushroom sauce on the chicken would make her queasy but dammit, the foot rubs! Such a failure. I feel sorry for my own husband.

At my do-over I'll have one of these at every seat.

lyndausvi · April 2015

I'm completely SHOCKED she doesn't like you. Completely shocked, I tell you.

MesmrEwe · April 2015

PrettyGirlLost said:
This thread is just fucking insane.

If I was the pregnant FSIL, no way in hell I'd travel in my 3rd
trimester to a DW on BFE Island that is miles and miles nad miles away
from actual civilization and advanced, experienced medical care.

Newp.

LOL - A month before my EDD I drove 10 hours round-trip to BFN Iowa!!! Good news, if she's over 23w she won't be able to fly anywhere anyway!

notdoingitbythebook · April 2015

My FSIL is due a week after the wedding. The only thing I've done for her is tell her that we have a quiet room in the venue if she needs to take a break from the festivities (though this is true for anyone at the wedding), that there is a hospital just down the street that is under 10 minutes away in case something happens and my full understanding that if she cannot attend because she's not up to it that's okay, but that we hope she will feel up to it.

I don't feel like I need to treat her as an invalid just because she's pregnant. And I don't feel the need to gift her with comfort just because she's pregnant. She will do what she feels she can do and that's it. I'm not about to force comfort on her just because I want to improve our relationship. I think you need to back off OP and stop trying to win love with gifts.

HELP my future sister-in-law will be in her third trimester at our wedding!

Re: HELP my future sister-in-law will be in her third trimester at our wedding!

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