So my FH's mother was very uninvolved in his childhood. She was in and out of his life and basically his grandparents raised him until he was about 12 and then he had to move in with his aunt because his mom wasn't taking care of him. His mother lies to anyone that will listen to her about all of it and acts like she was the victim of it all, and really just has a problem with lying about anything in general. Since the time I've met my fiance, he has jumped through hoops doing any and everything he can for his mom even though she doesn't reciprocate any of it. I know he's just trying to get that acceptance and love from her that he never had as a child. She has made up lies and stories about not only me, but his aunt and his grandmother. When I would talk to her she would twist around what I said and make me look crazy, no matter how simple the conversation was. (someone that works with her told me the things she was saying, and told me that the girls at the shop thought I was insane before they had met me because of all the stories) I tried to mention this to my fiance, and how I was very hurt by it because I had been nothing but respectful of her, and he got defensive and threw a plate full of food at the wall. Since my fiance already had a strained relationship with her, I let it go. (This happened a few years ago) Since then, we have moved further away from where we lived before and my fiance doesn't talk to her as much, when they do talk it is always him reaching out. I stopped talking to her because every time I did, more stories were formed about me and I was so tired of it. When we moved, it seemed as if everything in my fiance's life improved, he became way more easy going, got a great job and everything in his life over all got better. We got engaged, and when we started planning the wedding my family made a very large contribution and FH's aunt helped with planning as well. We didn't expect anything at all from his mother, but she offered to do the decorations for the reception. She even came over and looked through pictures on the internet with me! A couple of months later she heard from her mother about FH aunt's contribution to the wedding and then FMIL offered to host the rehearsal dinner but said " I dont want "aunt" involved at all, whatever she was going to do lets not do that" We didn't say anything, and his aunt has always been nothing but nice and respectful to us both so we definitely would have never told her never mind we don't want your help! Since then, his mother has backed out, then said she's going to do it and then backed out again. We are at the point where we are going to host the rehearsal dinner ourselves and combine it with what his aunt is doing for the night before the wedding. I'm wondering if anyone has ever been in a situation like this. Any tips? suggestions? My fiance wants me and his mother to have a relationship, but how do you have a relationship with FMIL when your FH has a very strained one with her and all FMIL does is tell lies about you? I recently brought up the topic of the FMIL lying and story telling again to my FH because our relationship has been so great recently and this time he said he would talk to her about it, but I really don't want to cause more of a rift and she will probably just lie her way out of it until FH is tired of dealing with it. What can I do? The topic of parent gifts for the wedding have come up too. Do we get her parent gift?