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Wedding Woes

Graduating, but there's no party

Dear Prudence,
In a few short weeks, I will be graduating from college! I’m terribly excited for this day and it has a particularly strong significance for me. I will be the first person in my family to graduate from college. My family weathered abuse, homelessness, and poverty—and so far, I’m the only one who has broken this cycle. I moved out when I was still in high school and put myself through college (with the help of extraordinary teachers) and have worked so hard for this day. However, as it approaches, I can’t help but feel a little empty. I know it sounds petty, but I was secretly hoping someone would offer to help me throw a little graduation party. I know my mom isn’t planning to celebrate and honestly I’m just grateful that she is even coming to my commencement ceremony. Would it be in terrible taste to do something myself? I don’t want anything big, but I secretly, truly want to celebrate one of the most meaningful achievements of my life. Is that tacky or narcissistic? Or should I say nothing and just be grateful without the need to celebrate? 

—The Almost Graduate

Re: Graduating, but there's no party

  • VarunaTT said:

    This totally deserves a party and if she needs to throw it, throw it.


    I'm over this nonsense about who hosts a party.  Humans are pattern machines, we like recognizing things and rituals.  If you want to recognize something in your life with friends and family with a small party or a big blowout, effin' do it.  
    This.  I mean, it's one thing to throw your own shower so you can get a pile of presents.  But yeah, it sounds like she (he?) worked hard and overcame some huge obstacles, and if that's not worth celebrating, then I don't know what is.
  • Hey, y'all already know I gave myself a party.:)
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    mrsconn23VarunaTTMNNEBridehmonkey
  • I feel bad for her, this is a big deal!  My DD delayed graduation until Aug. because she wants to do the study abroad in London, but this also means that she is missing the Aug. ceremony by 1 day - I am so sad not to see her walk. Four years ago when we were sitting in the parent orient. the Dean said "the next time we all sit here it will be at graduation", its such a big deal and I feel crazy to be sad over it, but I am.  I do plan to have a family party the weekend after she gets back, its a big deal and needs to be celebrated!
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