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Should I wear my dress for second reception?

CelarriCelarri member
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in Attire & Accessories Forum
We had a very small wedding with plans to have a second larger reception later. Unfortunately, on the day of my wedding, my grandmother experienced some complications during dinner and passed away. I cannot help but associate the entire day with her passing. I cannot even look at photos without getting very upset.

May 23 we are having our large reception/party. And, don't get me wrong, I love my dress. However, I can't help but worry it's going to really be upsetting to wear all day. I have purchased a fairly inexpensive pretty short dress that I am considering wearing, but I don't know what to do.

Both sets of parents are pressuring me to wear my wedding dress, and to be honest, I don't want to deal with anything that reminds me of my wedding day.

Advice is much appreciated.
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Re: Should I wear my dress for second reception?

  • bethsmilesbethsmiles member
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    I'm so sorry for your loss. You absolutely do not need to wear your wedding dress. In fact wearing it to a second reception/part is frowned upon by some anyway. I would wear the short dress and tell your parents you don't wish to discuss it any further. This isn't any of their business anyway.


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  • CMGragainCMGragain member
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    I am so sorry for your loss.
    You only get one wedding reception, and it must be on the day of your wedding.  Your reception is for you to personally "receive" and thank your guests for coming to your ceremony.  It is not a party for you.  It is for your wedding guests.
    Your second party is a celebration of your marriage.  It is not a part of your wedding.  Do not wear your wedding dress.  It is not your wedding day.  No wedding traditions like bouquet tossing or first dance.  You are a married woman now.
    I hope you have a lovely time at your party.
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  • KatWAGKatWAG member
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    I am so sorry.

    You should wear whatever you feel most comfortable in. FWIW, I think wearing your wedding dress to a AHR is a victimless crime.

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  • CelarriCelarri member
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    @CMGragain I think my situation is a bit different. My immediate family missed all of those traditional wedding things one might do. They went to the hospital with my grandmother. So, we are cutting the cake again and doing the parent dances for my family.
    Also, my question was not really in regards to whatever brand of etiquette you ascribe to. It was more of a dilemma between the negative emotions I associate with the dress and the desire for my mother in particular to see me in it doing the things she missed out on.

    Thanks.
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  • hellohkbhellohkb mod
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    KatWAG said:

    I am so sorry.

    You should wear whatever you feel most comfortable in. FWIW, I think wearing your wedding dress to a AHR is a victimless crime.

    I am sorry for your loss, OP. I also agree with this. Wear what you feel comfortable in. 


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  • erinlin25erinlin25 member
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    wear whatever you feel comfortable in.  I do not side eye wearing your dress again to AHR; hell I'd love to get to wear my dress again!  As long as your guests are hosted well of course.  I can see where you would associate negative feelings with your wedding but in some way maybe the AHR and wearing your dress again will be a way to gain some positive memories with your wedding experience.  But ultimately it should be up to you and what will make you happiest that day.

    I am so sorry for your loss :(
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  • kasasr1024kasasr1024 member
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    Oh no, how awful, I am so sorry for your loss!  I would wear the second dress you have.  Explain to your parents that you're wanting a fresh look/take on the reception since you have such bad memories from anything pertaining to the wedding day.  
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
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    Were you able to get any wedding photos done? If so, what about just wearing the new dress for this event & just having a few framed photos from that day on a table. This way you don't have to wear the dress but people still get to see how beautiful you looked that day.

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  • CMGragainCMGragain member
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    edited May 2015
    Celarri said:

    @CMGragain I think my situation is a bit different. My immediate family missed all of those traditional wedding things one might do. They went to the hospital with my grandmother. So, we are cutting the cake again and doing the parent dances for my family.
    Also, my question was not really in regards to whatever brand of etiquette you ascribe to. It was more of a dilemma between the negative emotions I associate with the dress and the desire for my mother in particular to see me in it doing the things she missed out on.

    Thanks.

    I am never going to give anyone advice that is not etiquette correct.  Many brides do not have their families with them at their weddings.   In my family, elopements are the norm. 
    What happened at your reception was terrible.  I am so sorry.
    There are not different "brands" of etiquette.  You do not get a redo reception because your first one wasn't the one you planned.  Again, my condolences.
    I think having a party to celebrate your marriage is a very good idea if you feel up to it.  You asked if you should wear your wedding dress again, even though it brings you sad memories.  The answer is, no.  Personally, I think you can have a wonderful time with your family wearing a beautiful new dress.  Don't try to recreate your reception - especially considering the sad circumstances.
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