Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions

Wedding at family's home

Hello! Sorry if this is on the wrong board, wasn't sure where to put it.

My FI and I have decided that instead of getting married in a barn like we originally planned, we're going to be married in my parent's backyard in October.

I plan on renting tables and chairs for the back lawn, and the ceremony will be under an arbor on the patio. We're also going to cater dinner from a local restaurant. There will be around 50 people in attendance.

My family doesn't live in a large home, so looking at "home weddings" on Pinterest is difficult because those people seem to live in mansions.

So, basically, I was wondering if any of you have been to a wedding at someone's home? If so, what was it like and was it pulled off well?

Re: Wedding at family's home

  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    I haven't, but from what I hear about them, they aren't much different from fairly small weddings conducted anywhere else.  You designate a spot for the ceremony, where the officiant stands, and the couple stand in front of him or her while they exchange vows.  There may not be a processional or recessional if space is an issue, but otherwise the ceremony is the same as if it were held elsewhere, Catholic weddings excepted because of church requirements.
  • I've been to two at-home weddings, and in both of them the bridal party processed from the walk-out basement onto a spot on the lawn.  Beyond that, it was the same as any other wedding.  If walking out of the house doesn't work for you, maybe just walking around a corner?
    **The OMH formerly known as jsangel1018**
  • I've been to many. It used to be more common, pre 80s, I think. Six I can think of offhand, probably forgetting a couple. 
    All but one were in average suburban houses. 
    Personally, I love them.  Less running around and worrying about forgetting things, because everything's there, and you don't have to fuss about what time you can get in or what time you have to leave and is there time to get things done. (If you want lights, for example, you can hang strings of lights days before. The booze can be there a week in advance. Things like that. Hurrah.) And just a really more relaxed and intimate atmosphere, over all. 
    I wish more people did this. 

  • Make sure you have sufficient bathroom facilities to handle that number of people. There are bathroom trailers available for rent that are much nicer than a construction site porta-potty.
    image
  • Hello! Sorry if this is on the wrong board, wasn't sure where to put it.

    My FI and I have decided that instead of getting married in a barn like we originally planned, we're going to be married in my parent's backyard in October.

    I plan on renting tables and chairs for the back lawn, and the ceremony will be under an arbor on the patio. We're also going to cater dinner from a local restaurant. There will be around 50 people in attendance.

    My family doesn't live in a large home, so looking at "home weddings" on Pinterest is difficult because those people seem to live in mansions.

    So, basically, I was wondering if any of you have been to a wedding at someone's home? If so, what was it like and was it pulled off well?

    Additional bathroom facilities are a must. At least one bathroom should be handicap-accessible.
  • spglspspglsp member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited May 2015
    In my experience, backyard weddings tend to be much more relaxed for guests. They certainly work better with an intimate guest list. I didn't want one just because I didn't want to manage things like spoon rental but I also have a much larger guest list so it could get out of hand. Things to consider: what kind of music set up would you like? Do you have/need space for parking? Do you need a generator (for caterers, lighting, etc.)? Do you need additional bathrooms (the answer here is most likely yes)? Where could you put those bathrooms? What are your local noise ordinances? What's your rain plan? Once you have all that nailed down, the rest is small stuff and you won't need a manor to make it beautiful
    Just Married!

    image
  • Thank you all for your advice!
    We're going to have about 35-40 guests with two bathrooms in the house. The etiquette websites I looked up say you need one bathroom per 20-25 guests, so I think two bathrooms will be fine? And none of my guests will need a wheelchair accessible bathroom, but one of the bathrooms would work for that case. 
    Our neighborhood has a community pool with lots of parking, so we'll be able to park everyone's cars there. 
    If it rains, we'll have the ceremony in the sun room. 
  • Thank you all for your advice!

    We're going to have about 35-40 guests with two bathrooms in the house. The etiquette websites I looked up say you need one bathroom per 20-25 guests, so I think two bathrooms will be fine? And none of my guests will need a wheelchair accessible bathroom, but one of the bathrooms would work for that case. 
    Our neighborhood has a community pool with lots of parking, so we'll be able to park everyone's cars there. 
    If it rains, we'll have the ceremony in the sun room. 
    With a chair for every butt, right?
  • edited May 2015
    Oh yes! The sun room opens into the living room and entryway, it's not a closed-door room. I'm still planning on renting plenty of chairs, and there are big, comfy couches for our little grandparents as well. 
  • Oh yes! The sun room opens into the living room and entryway, it's not a closed-door room. I'm still planning on renting plenty of chairs, and there are big, comfy couches for our little grandparents as well. 

    Groovy!  Sounds awesome.
  • My sister just had a very similar wedding this past weekend. Everything came out beautifully and the major set up (tents, etc.) had been done days before.

    I will say, there ending up being quite a bit of work for family to do that morning, and I don't think anyone had planned for or expected that. Putting out all the cute decorations and table settings, wiping off the ceremony chairs, various last minute things. I would honestly suggest hiring a DOC just as you would for a regular venue.

  • TND, thank you for that suggestion! When we were planning our wedding at a big venue, we talked to a DOC. I think having one at the house would really help out. :) 
  • I've been to one at home reception. It was a nice casual feel and was enjoyable. They hooked up an computer to speakers and I think ran a station from iheart radio in the style of music they wanted. They rented tables, chairs & tents (in case it rained). They also rented a port a pottie. The homeowner had a septic tank system and was concerned about it being able to handle the sudden increase in bathroom usage. So to avoid the stress have having the truck come in the day before to clean it while they were trying to set up and then having to come the next day, she rented a handicap port a pottie (they are larger and easier to move around in) and there was one of those battery operated push lights in it for in the evening and a wash station. It was actually very nice. She didn't stop people from going inside, but it did help reduce the usage of the indoor bathroom and kept her house cleaner too since fewer people going in the house. There was a firepit for later and corn hole too. The group wasn't into dancing so they didn't plan for a dance floor. Besides the bathroom situation, the other thing you need to think about is parking situation. Can the street your parents live on accomodate the parking of your guests. If so, you may want to give the neightbors a heads up (assuming they aren't invited) to the situation so they are aware of the increase in traffic and possible noise on the street that day. And make sure your guests won't have to walk two miles to get to the house either. Or if they do, that you advise them in advance so they can wear approriate shoes.
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