invitation wording

adventurefoot · August 2012

Hello all,

my fiance and i are hosting/funding our wedding and are trying to keep the setting intimate. i am hoping to get some help on invite wording to discourage my extended family from +1 overkill. Any suggestions?

DramaGeek · August 2012

You don't put anything on the actual invitation. How you address the invitation tells the invitee who all is invited. If you address it to Mr John Doe, then only Mr Doe is invited. If its Mr and Mrs John Doe, then both John and his wife are invited. If it's Mr John Doe and Guest, then he gets to choose who to bring, whether his guest be male, female, friend or date.

If you want to make it even clearer, you can make your RSVP cards so that they say

___ seats have been reserved in your honor

Or

Mr John Doe ___will attend ___will not attend

Regardless, you're likely to have someone RSVP for more people than were invited. IN that case, you politely call and let them know that unfortunately you can't accomodate the extra people.

crash2729 · August 2012

On the rsvp card:

Mrs. Jane Doe accepts regrets

Mr. John Doe aceepts regrets

___/2 attending

willywally5 · August 2012

There really isn't anything you can put on the invitation itself. You can make sure you address your invitations properly, such as inviting anyone with a SO by their names.

You can also do your RSVP in a way that indicates how many people are invited by adding a line reading:

____ Seats have been reserved in your honor.

Then do the usual lines for accepting or declining and meal choices or whatever.

(then you fill it in before sending)

Note that ANYONE in a relationship (even if it's short-term but they refer to that person as their BF/GF) they are a SO and must be invited.

willywally5 · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invitation-wording-72?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0ad3e949-d6f9-41a4-ba96-fa75cd939463Post:23bee380-cb6f-4b95-9c74-4fdf6409461d">Re: invitation wording</a>:
[QUOTE]You don't put anything on the actual invitation. <strong>How you address the invitation tells the invitee who all is invited. </strong> If you address it to Mr John Doe, then only Mr Doe is invited. If its Mr and Mrs John Doe, then both John and his wife are invited. If it's Mr John Doe and Guest, then he gets to choose who to bring, whether his guest be male, female, friend or date. If you want to make it even clearer, you can make your RSVP cards so that they say ___ seats have been reserved in your honor Or Mr John Doe ___will attend ___will not attend Regardless, you're likely to have someone RSVP for more people than were invited. IN that case, you politely call and let them know that unfortunately you can't accomodate the extra people.
Posted by DramaGeek[/QUOTE]

<div>We are just now getting RSVPs back for DD's wedding and it is AMAZING to me how many people do not understand this basic, basic rule. I wish we'd have done the RSVP cards in one of the ways suggested here to make it more clear. </div>

willywally5 · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invitation-wording-72?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0ad3e949-d6f9-41a4-ba96-fa75cd939463Post:064f2ff8-9547-41f3-afca-b5378224297c">Re:invitation wording</a>:
[QUOTE]The issue with "number of seats" on an RSVP is that you may end up with uninvited guests if someone on the invite cannot attend. I've heard a lot of stories of "my wife couldn't come, so I brought our daughter" or whatever. The safest way to do it is Mr. Smith will attend Will not attend Mrs. Smith Will attend Will not attend
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

<div>Good point. The guest may think,"Hey, there's two seats for me, so I can/could/should fill them." </div><div>
</div><div>Even though it's more work to do them with each individual name, it'd be so much easier than having to make awkward phone calls. </div>

[Deleted User] · August 2012

I didn't put anything on invites & for reply cards I just left name line blank & the they can check will or will not attend. The envelopes should let them know who is invited (kids or dates, etc).

One thing I did to keep my list down some is that if a single friend isn't in a relationship I looked at who will they know at the wedding? If they won't really know anyone, I'm doing them + guest so that they will have someone they know to hang out with. But I have a group of friends who are all single, not dating anyone, and are friends with each other, i am inviting just them. Because I know they will end up spending the night hanging out together.

invitation wording

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