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Getting Marriage License..?? ummm

saiiawaysaiiaway member
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in Destination Weddings Discussions
We are getting married in Hawaii THIS WEEKEND and the people/company who we have paid for our wedding have hardly been in contact. We planned for it a year ago and as our wedding was approaching I am the one emailing them asking if there is anything we need to do or prepare? 
I have asked multiple times about the marriage license and they finally responded to me that they are having trouble securing an appointment for us. That the person who is normally there will not be there that day and they are trying to make special arrangements with someone else?? 

Shouldn't this have been taken care of weeks ago? What can I do if they can't find a person? WTF. We will only be in Hawaii 3 days before leaving for our honeymoon.


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Re: Getting Marriage License..?? ummm

  • saiiawaysaiiaway member
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    They say they need to make the appointment FOR US with the person in Hawaii, it's in their own info. 
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
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    edited June 2015
    saiiaway said:
    They say they need to make the appointment FOR US with the person in Hawaii, it's in their own info. 
    No, that is crap.  You can do this yourself.

    Marriage license info for Hawaii...CLICK

    Edited: TK why will links show up sometimes and not others?  It is kind of irritating.

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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
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    edited June 2015
    Good luck! Hope it all worked out
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
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    Laurarose25 said:
    My husband and I got married In the U.S. Virgin Islands. To save money and the hassle, we went down to the local courthouse where we live in California and got married in a civil ceremony two weeks before our wedding date. We had two witnesses and didn't tell anyone else. One less thing we had to worry about when we arrived for our destination wedding.
    OP, please don't listen to this.

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  • Jells2dot0Jells2dot0 mod
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    Maggie0829 said:
    Laurarose25 said:
    My husband and I got married In the U.S. Virgin Islands. To save money and the hassle, we went down to the local courthouse where we live in California and got married in a civil ceremony two weeks before our wedding date. We had two witnesses and didn't tell anyone else. One less thing we had to worry about when we arrived for our destination wedding.
    OP, please don't listen to this.

    Agreed. this is so rude to your guests who spent thousands to attend your actual wedding.

     







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  • lyndausvilyndausvi mod
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    ShesSoCold said:
    Laurarose25 said:
    My husband and I got married played dress-up In the U.S. Virgin Islands. To save money and the hassle, we went down to the local courthouse where we live in California and got married in a civil ceremony two weeks before our wedding date. We had two witnesses and didn't tell anyone else. One less thing we had to worry about when we arrived for our destination wedding.

    FIFY.
    As someone who lived in the US Virgin Islands I have to laugh.    It's not hard to get a license in the USVI at all.   Sure she was in St John and she would have had to go to St Thomas, but it's so not a big deal.      

    Since you have to fly into St Thomas, most couples just stop by the court house on their way to the ferry to get to St John.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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  • mikenbergermikenberger member
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    Laurarose25 said:
    My husband and I got married In the U.S. Virgin Islands. To save money and the hassle, we went down to the local courthouse where we live in California and got married in a civil ceremony two weeks before our wedding date. We had two witnesses and didn't tell anyone else. One less thing we had to worry about when we arrived for our destination wedding.
    Hopefully you celebrate your marriage the two weeks before your "wedding date"... because that's when you were married.

    Don't listen to this advice, OP. This is bullshit. And deceptive to everybody making the trek to Hawaii to see you actually get married.

    image
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  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
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    Laurarose25 said:
    My husband and I got married In the U.S. Virgin Islands. To save money and the hassle, we went down to the local courthouse where we live in California and got married in a civil ceremony two weeks before our wedding date. We had two witnesses and didn't tell anyone else. One less thing we had to worry about when we arrived for our destination wedding.
    Bleh!

    Don't do this, OP.

    Get off this forum, call the Dept of Health for the island where you are having your ceremony, and get this taken care of!

    Hawaii (Big Island): (808) 974-6008
    Kauai: (808) 241-3498
    Maui: (808) 984-8210
    Molokai: (808) 553-7870
    Oahu: (808) 586-4544





    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


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  • lyndausvilyndausvi mod
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    Jells2dot0 said:
    Laurarose25 said:
    My husband and I got married In the U.S. Virgin Islands. To save money and the hassle, we went down to the local courthouse where we live in California and got married in a civil ceremony two weeks before our wedding date. We had two witnesses and didn't tell anyone else. One less thing we had to worry about when we arrived for our destination wedding.

    So, @Laurarose25, I have to ask- why did you keep it secret? Was it because you knew it was rude? That it would hurt people's feelings? Because you didn't want anyone to know you were being cheap?

     

    So many people do this and then keep it a secret. Why? Why not be honest with people? I think it's a pretty standard practice to be an honest person, especially with family and friends.

    I'm actually sitting here thinking, okay, this couple flew all the way from CA to the USVI, then took a ferry over to St John.    St John is not cheap.  They had to have spent some serious cash getting and staying there. They hired a planner, officiant for the ceremony. Then they hosted some people at a reception.   Again, STJ is not cheap.    

    Yet they draw the line at spending an additional $100-150 to get a license in the VI?

    That is so weird to me.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
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    lyndausvi said:
    Jells2dot0 said:
    Laurarose25 said:
    My husband and I got married In the U.S. Virgin Islands. To save money and the hassle, we went down to the local courthouse where we live in California and got married in a civil ceremony two weeks before our wedding date. We had two witnesses and didn't tell anyone else. One less thing we had to worry about when we arrived for our destination wedding.

    So, @Laurarose25, I have to ask- why did you keep it secret? Was it because you knew it was rude? That it would hurt people's feelings? Because you didn't want anyone to know you were being cheap?

     

    So many people do this and then keep it a secret. Why? Why not be honest with people? I think it's a pretty standard practice to be an honest person, especially with family and friends.

    I'm actually sitting here thinking, okay, this couple flew all the way from CA to the USVI, then took a ferry over to St John.    St John is not cheap.  They had to have spent some serious cash getting and staying there. They hired a planner, officiant for the ceremony. Then they hosted some people at a reception.   Again, STJ is not cheap.    

    Yet they draw the line at spending an additional $100-150 to get a license in the VI?

    That is so weird to me.
    Probably taking an hour or so out of their vacation would have just been to much on them.

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  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 member
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    OP, when are you flying out to Hawaii? Here is another link explaining exactly what you need. Luckily for you, Hawaii doesn't have a waiting period. If you are flying into Honolulu, you can get it done yourself, without the agent.

    You are welcome!
    image
    image

    image


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  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold mod
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    Maggie0829 said:
    saiiaway said:
    They say they need to make the appointment FOR US with the person in Hawaii, it's in their own info. 
    No, that is crap.  You can do this yourself.

    Marriage license info for Hawaii...CLICK

    Edited: TK why will links show up sometimes and not others?  It is kind of irritating.

    PrettyGirlLost said:
    Laurarose25 said:
    My husband and I got married In the U.S. Virgin Islands. To save money and the hassle, we went down to the local courthouse where we live in California and got married in a civil ceremony two weeks before our wedding date. We had two witnesses and didn't tell anyone else. One less thing we had to worry about when we arrived for our destination wedding.
    Bleh!

    Don't do this, OP.

    Get off this forum, call the Dept of Health for the island where you are having your ceremony, and get this taken care of!

    Hawaii (Big Island): (808) 974-6008
    Kauai: (808) 241-3498
    Maui: (808) 984-8210
    Molokai: (808) 553-7870
    Oahu: (808) 586-4544





    huskypuppy14 said:
    OP, when are you flying out to Hawaii? Here is another link explaining exactly what you need. Luckily for you, Hawaii doesn't have a waiting period. If you are flying into Honolulu, you can get it done yourself, without the agent.

    You are welcome!
    See how easy this was?!
    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
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  • onefootinthebayouonefootinthebayou member
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    Laurarose25 said:

    My husband and I got married In the U.S. Virgin Islands. To save money and the hassle, we went down to the local courthouse where we live in California and got married in a civil ceremony two weeks before our wedding date. We had two witnesses and didn't tell anyone else. One less thing we had to worry about when we arrived for our destination wedding.

    My jaw just dropped that you would so brazenly ADMIT this, let alone do it. Unless you really didn't know that what you did was incredibly deceptive and manipulative? For months now I've been trying to get a legitimate justification for this behavior out of people who do this and delude themselves into thinking it's ok...and still...*crickets*

    I'd love to hear why you think this is acceptable behavior.

    OP, PPs gave great info. Update us when you called all the #s & get this handled!
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  • 4forluck4forluck member
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    edited June 2015
    OP, I live on Oahu and FI and I just got our marriage license yesterday.  We filled out the application online in advance the day before.  We went to the health dept. building yesterday to pick up the actual license and it only took about 10 minutes total.  We walked in and since we had already filled out the application someone was able to help us right away.  The hardest part of the entire process was trying to find parking in their tiny Hawaiian size parking lot.  Which island are you getting married on?  As long as you will be on the island on a weekday before your wedding, I don't think an appointment will be necessary.  Getting the license should be no problem.

    ETA:  Edited to add that tomorrow is a Hawaiian state holiday, so if you are on the island tomorrow the health dept will most likely be closed.
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  • WinstonsGirlWinstonsGirl member
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    edited June 2015
    saiiaway not sure if you can get one tomorrow, if it's a state holiday, but it's simple to get otherwise.  No appt. needed.  You can fill out the form online or in person at the Dept. of Health.  Pay the fee and go over the form, bring ID.  We went first thing in the morning and there was no line.  Apparently you can end up waiting later in the day as more people show up, but not a big deal.  

    ETA - You don't need your coordinators with you to do this.  Just you and your FI

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  • redoryxredoryx member
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    Yeah, I'm gonna go ahead and guess your coordinator or resort or whomever told you this so they could charge you for it. This is something that can be done on your own. 
    image
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
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    edited June 2015
    Best wishes
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  • redoryxredoryx member
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    Laurarose25 said:
    @lyndausvi Our arriving flight was after the office closed. We had originally planned on getting our marriage license down there, but after speaking with a number of friends who live there, they suggested we do it in the states first. The CA license was simply the legal paperwork, to us our wedding was in St. John. The important part for us was for our friends and family to be together to celebrate our love in a place that is special to us. We didn't tell people about it since to us it wasn't our wedding day. @maggie0829 you are correct, we did not want to spend the day on STT when we could spend time with family who travelled from all over.


    Okay, so, honest question: If all you cared about was the part in St. John, why bother getting the legal paperwork anyway if it's not that important?

    Go on, take your time answering. I'll wait.

    image
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  • CMGragainCMGragain member
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    edited June 2015
    Laurarose25 said:
    @lyndausvi Our arriving flight was after the office closed. We had originally planned on getting our marriage license down there, but after speaking with a number of friends who live there, they suggested we do it in the states first. The CA license was simply the legal paperwork, to us our wedding was in St. John. The important part for us was for our friends and family to be together to celebrate our love in a place that is special to us. We didn't tell people about it since to us it wasn't our wedding day. @maggie0829 you are correct, we did not want to spend the day on STT when we could spend time with family who travelled from all over.
    OH, for heaven's sake!  It doesn't matter what was important to YOU!  It matters what is important to the United States government.  The legal paperwork is what changed your status from being two single people to a married couple.  This is what defines marriage!

    noun mar·riage \ˈmer-ij, ˈma-rij\

    1
    a (1) :  the state of being united to a person of the opposite sex as husband or wife in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law (2) :  the state of being united to a person of the same sex in a relationship like that of a traditional marriage <same-sex marriage>
    b :  the mutual relation of married persons :  wedlock
    c :  the institution whereby individuals are joined in a marriage

    As far as your not telling your guests that you are already married - liar, liar!
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
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  • mikenbergermikenberger member
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    Laurarose25 said:
    @lyndausvi Our arriving flight was after the office closed. We had originally planned on getting our marriage license down there, but after speaking with a number of friends who live there, they suggested we do it in the states first. The CA license was simply the legal paperwork, to us our wedding was in St. John. The important part for us was for our friends and family to be together to celebrate our love in a place that is special to us. We didn't tell people about it since to us it wasn't our wedding day. @maggie0829 you are correct, we did not want to spend the day on STT when we could spend time with family who travelled from all over.
    You tell the millions of people fighting for that legal paperwork "It was simply just legal paperwork." How flippant of you.

    image
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  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold mod
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    Laurarose25 said:
    @lyndausvi Our arriving flight was after the office closed. We had originally planned on getting our marriage license down there, but after speaking with a number of friends who live there, they suggested we do it in the states first. The CA license was simply the legal paperwork, to us our wedding was in St. John. The important part for us was for our friends and family to be together to celebrate our love in a place that is special to us. We didn't tell people about it since to us it wasn't our wedding day. @maggie0829 you are correct, we did not want to spend the day on STT when we could spend time with family who travelled from all over.
    image
    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
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  • onefootinthebayouonefootinthebayou member
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    edited June 2015
    Laurarose25 said:
    @lyndausvi Our arriving flight was after the office closed. We had originally planned on getting our marriage license down there, but after speaking with a number of friends who live there, they suggested we do it in the states first. The CA license was simply the legal paperwork, to us our wedding was in St. John. The important part for us was for our friends and family to be together to celebrate our love in a place that is special to us. We didn't tell people about it since to us it wasn't our wedding day. @maggie0829 you are correct, we did not want to spend the day on STT when we could spend time with family who travelled from all over.
    Yikes.  My point is that by not being honest with your guests, you took the choice away from them as to whether they wanted to spend all of that money to witness you having only what YOU think of as your wedding (some call it a "symbolic ceremony").  Honest question, do you really not see how selfish and controlling that is?  As Jells pointed out previously, you haven't answered why you didn't disclose the fact that you are married in the states.  The fact that you covered it up implies you knew it was wrong.  Can you just please own it rather than glossing over it so callously?  

    You will hear from other posters who were duped in a similar way and found out the facts later that it does NOT end well for the friendship or family relationship.  Something you should have thought about before you lied to your guests.  

    If you had just been honest with everyone you invited overseas, you would not be getting so much correction here.  What you did was wrong and no amount of excuses or flawed attempts at rationalization will change that.  
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    redoryx said:
    Laurarose25 said:
    @lyndausvi Our arriving flight was after the office closed. We had originally planned on getting our marriage license down there, but after speaking with a number of friends who live there, they suggested we do it in the states first. The CA license was simply the legal paperwork, to us our wedding was in St. John. The important part for us was for our friends and family to be together to celebrate our love in a place that is special to us. We didn't tell people about it since to us it wasn't our wedding day. @maggie0829 you are correct, we did not want to spend the day on STT when we could spend time with family who travelled from all over.


    @Laurarose25 - You mean all those family members who traveled and used vacation time and spent money to come and witness you get married would have been bothered by you taking time away from them to go and get a license?   Pretty sure they would have been understanding since they came all that way to see you get married, not watch you play dress up.



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  • saiiawaysaiiaway member
    First Comment First Anniversary
    Thank you for your information that you put together for me! Just as an update, we did end up finding someone but it was so very rushed and last minute. Our wedding was very ill-coordinated and thrown together, I do believe they forgot about us until I had contacted them asking if they needed anything more from me.

    As we arrived at the airport the person was texting me different names and numbers of people to call, everyone of them had either left work already (it was 2pm?) or was closed. That includes the department of health, nobody answered. Someone on the list had a voicemail that noted if you wanted a marriage license to text her and by some miracle she texted back and squeezed us in between her appointments at work. Our wedding coordinator insisted that she had contacted this person multiple times trying to get an appointment. The woman who did our license kind of rolled her eyes when we told her our who was our wedding planner so I'm sure that's saying something.
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  • lyndausvilyndausvi mod
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    glad it worked out.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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