And I'm terrified. Be warned... this is a vent and probably belongs on LiveJournal.
Like, I've been doing a lot of thinking lately and I would like to bring a little one into the world. But I'm horrified of being pregnant. All the things that happen to your body, the changes that happen. They're terrifying.
I'm the first in my circle of friends to be married and think about babies, so when I try to talk to them about it they keep telling me I'm too young. One literally quoted Papa Don't Preach by Madonna. I don't want to talk to my parents because I don't want to get their hopes up for a grandbaby.
My go-to "adult" for advice (adult in quotes because I'm also an adult... she's just an older adult and is like a wise owl) said that I'm only terrified because my generation is the selfish generation and while I may not be part of the selfish side, I'm probably more scared of losing my freedom than anything else.
Yes, I'm scared of the things we're going to sacrifice for the little one. But what I'm really scared of? Being the people responsible for a little person and making sure they survive. What if I feed it someone it's allergic to and it dies? What if I drop it?! What if it hates us? What if H sees baby coming out of me and never wants to touch me again?
So to all you Knot Mamas and Dads, am I over reacting? Is this something ya'll felt too?