I first posted this just under "Cultural Wedding Boards" but I'm trying to move it here!
I'm really lost as to what to do here. My fiance is Israeli, and I'm converting under an American Conservative Rabbi who will also be performing our wedding ceremony in the US. We've been having our "pre-marital" meetings with him, and he just told us he expects us to have a Bedeken. My fiance's never heard of it (he's secular), and I really had my heart set on not seeing him before the walk down the aisle (he will be signing the ketubah without me). Additionally, our families don't know anything about it (mine's Catholic, his is secular). The Rabbi seems kind of insistent about it, and said that it's necessary to make the marriage binding, but said he's open to "creative" ways of doing it since he knows how I feel. Also, I understand that this is a beautiful ceremony, but watching videos of it, I think we would find it very awkward since we're kind of private people. The last problem is that a couple of my family members have had a hard time with my conversion, and I think this is so different from ceremonies they're used to that they may really dislike it. I'm embracing all of the other wedding traditions - is there any way to forego this one? Or, alternatively, a way it could be done without him seeing me before the ceremony?
Sorry for the novel, any help would really be appreciated!