1. 1. Is it a very small wedding? The answer seems to be no.
2. 2. Are we not as close as I thought we were? This could be a possibility, but it would a very confusing one. We have been close for over 10 years and she even threw me my bachelorette party less than 2 years ago. She hosted our friends from all over the country at her place and put a good deal of effort into it (which I expressed my great appreciation for.) Although we live in different countries, we’ve maintained fairly consistent communication since then.
3. 3. Did I do something to offend her? Maybe, but I’m not sure how or when. I tried to show my appreciation for the bachelorette with a thank you gift and letter. Maybe it wasn’t enough? I’ve gone through all of our emails over the past year and there is no indication of awkwardness or any issues.
4. 4. Did my invitation get lost in the mail? I don’t think so. Going through the emails I realized that she never replied to any of my inquiries regarding wedding planning or offers to help. I didn’t think this was a big deal and simply assumed she was busy or that she wasn’t yet in the wedding planning mode. I also think she would have mentioned my lack of RSVP in recent communications had this been the case.
I really want to handle this in a mature, rational and respectful way, but I’m not sure what that looks like. Should I just accept this as a mystery and lost friendship? I am so confused by this situation that it is making my seriously doubt my perception of things. I wrote her an email congratulating her and respectfully asking if I had done anything to hurt her or damage our relationship. As she is someone who often avoids any form of awkward communication, I am not sure I will hear back from her. Is it immature of me to ask our many mutual friends about the situation? Do I sound like a baby expressing my hurt and sadness over this? Thank you in advance for your advice.