My mother and I aren't especially close; she has serious personality issues and lives two hours away. We don't really speak, but lately she's been texting to tell me that she loves me and misses me, so I thought it would be an olive branch gesture to include her in the wedding by asking her to come shop wedding dresses with me as mothers and daughters traditionally do, and she excitedly said yes. Up until now, she has had no involvement with the wedding.
When I sent her a text a week later to ask her when she could come to look at dresses soon, she said that she didn't want to drive up here anytime soon because she didn't want to leave her two dogs alone for the afternoon, had too many house repairs to deal with, was too stressed out, and because 'it might rain' (...?!). To me it just felt like a litany of bad excuses.
She told me that if I wouldn't come to her town to shop she would 'maybe come sometime in the fall'. I explained that the dress I wanted to show her is here in Orlando and that I can't really wait that long, since ordering and alterations can be quite a process and all she wrote back was 'Wow, never had a wedding like that. Sorry can't make it'.
Even though we're not that close, I was really surprised. She had told my aunt how excited she was that I'd asked her - so why would she flippantly say no once a two-hour drive was in the way? My cousin's mom flew to Tennessee to see her dress! Am I being a bridezilla about this? I'm so angry with her, but I don't know if I'm being oversensitive or if it's overly demanding of me to ask her to drive here soon to see the dress. At this point I'm so hurt that even if I could change her mind I don't know if I would even want her to come.
She's been making occasional backhanded remarks about how I'm having an elegant wedding through the whole engagement like, "Oh, how much does THAT cost? It sounds expensive..." and "Good thing you two make so much money!". I think she's kind of jealous or annoyed because she and my father didn't really have a wedding; they just went to the courthouse. But still, I wish she could be excited for me instead of sulking and being surly that I'm getting what she wishes she had.
Thankfully my dad and stepmom and my fiancé's parents have been SO amazing and supportive through the entire process so far.
My financé's mom and sister and my stepmom all live in the same town as my mother, but they all enthusiastically offered to shop with me in her stead when I told them what had happened. Is it tactless of me to go where I want when I want with the people who are lovingly excited to make the effort, or should I hold to tradition and wait for 'maybe sometime in the fall' when she's willing to come?