Not involved soon to be mother in law. Gets gift or no?

justsie · August 2015

Jenn101015 said:

His sister was pretty much the mother roll in his life until 12 then his mom moved him in with them with a bf and her bfs son beat on him as a child. and she just turned her head. So im sorry that she not my fav person its because of how my FI grew up, luckily he has learned from her mistakes and does everything opposite she has down. Yes she is being honored as far as being walked down to her seat, and all the other things that you do at wedding. I do my best myself to call and include her in everything I can.

Maybe you'll get why shes not my fav person now maybe you wont there is more to the reasons why but its none of your business. My age is non of your business and neither is my life. I came on here to see if maybe someone had been in my situation, not to get picked on on my character. If i wasn't a strong person, you woman would probably would have made me consider hurting myself. So please let that marinate next time you decide to be rude and not considerate of someone else's feelings or situations, because every situation is different.

Have a nice life.

I am a counselor, so I take peoples mental health very seriously. If going on an internet forum is enough to make you consider hurting yourself, then I advise that you do not come back and make an appointment with your preferred MH person. Your mental health is more important than getting strangers opinions on your life.

If you are using that statement as a way to attempt to manipulate people then I have no words for you that are appropriate for this forum.

AddieCake · August 2015

YOU don't decide if your fiance's MOTHER "deserves" a parent gift. I don't know why you can't understand that. YOU do not call all the shots at this wedding.

How dare you come on here and suggest the things said to you here might make you consider hurting yourself. With that statement, you belittle every person who has TRULY been bullied and every person who has resorted to hurting themselves as a result. You know goddam well that nothing said to you here even comes close to that level. Not. Even. Close. To throw something like that around is just beyond the pale. I am truly disgusted by you.

TheCheeseWench · August 2015

levioosa said:

Jenn101015 said:

His sister was pretty much the mother roll in his life until 12 then his mom moved him in with them with a bf and her bfs son beat on him as a child. and she just turned her head. So im sorry that she not my fav person its because of how my FI grew up, luckily he has learned from her mistakes and does everything opposite she has down. Yes she is being honored as far as being walked down to her seat, and all the other things that you do at wedding. I do my best myself to call and include her in everything I can.

Maybe you'll get why shes not my fav person now maybe you wont there is more to the reasons why but its none of your business. My age is non of your business and neither is my life. I came on here to see if maybe someone had been in my situation, not to get picked on on my character. If i wasn't a strong person, you woman would probably would have made me consider hurting myself. So please let that marinate next time you decide to be rude and not considerate of someone else's feelings or situations, because every situation is different.

Have a nice life.

Please. This wasn't bullying in the slightest. And none of those details matter. What PPs said still stands. Grow up.

^^^^This. You asked a question. Gift or no? Unanimous answer: GIFT.

kimmiinthemitten · August 2015

Wow, just wow to all of this.

1. Your idle faux-threat is not something to throw around lightly. Again, you forget the world doesn't revolve around you and by writing and posting that you show no consideration to the idea that maybe, here at TK, perhaps there are people really dealing with that either personally or with loved ones, or who truly have lost people to suicide.

2. It is not your job to harbor your FI's grudges. His relationship with his mother is his to mend or end, not yours and it is not your place to judge the situations that preceded your arrival.

Grow up.

CMGragain · August 2015

Jenn101015 said:

His sister was pretty much the mother roll in his life until 12 then his mom moved him in with them with a bf and her bfs son beat on him as a child. and she just turned her head. So im sorry that she not my fav person its because of how my FI grew up, luckily he has learned from her mistakes and does everything opposite she has down. Yes she is being honored as far as being walked down to her seat, and all the other things that you do at wedding. I do my best myself to call and include her in everything I can.

Maybe you'll get why shes not my fav person now maybe you wont there is more to the reasons why but its none of your business. My age is non of your business and neither is my life. I came on here to see if maybe someone had been in my situation, not to get picked on on my character. If i wasn't a strong person, you woman would probably would have made me consider hurting myself. So please let that marinate next time you decide to be rude and not considerate of someone else's feelings or situations, because every situation is different.

Have a nice life.

WTF. You posted your information and asked for advice. You got it. Here is another piece of advice. Get yourself to a therapist and stop blaming other people for your problems.

Maggie0829 · August 2015

AddieCake said:

YOU don't decide if your fiance's MOTHER "deserves" a parent gift. I don't know why you can't understand that. YOU do not call all the shots at this wedding.

How dare you come on here and suggest the things said to you here might make you consider hurting yourself. With that statement, you belittle every person who has TRULY been bullied and every person who has resorted to hurting themselves as a result. You know goddam well that nothing said to you here even comes close to that level. Not. Even. Close. To throw something like that around is just beyond the pale. I am truly disgusted by you.

lyndausvi · August 2015

My MIL has never stepped foot into my home. The woman has NEVER visited DH. Ever. Even when he was on his death bed from pneumonia. DH calls his mom almost everyday. I call her about once a month or so. She only calls on birthdays. We always have to visit her. Even when we are in town it's like pulling teeth to take her out to dinner or lunch with us.

My parents have visited every where we have lived. They clear their calendar for us (some-what annoying, but they are good if we say we have other plans).

When it came to the wedding my parents paid, MIL did not. Which was completely fine.

I get it, our parents are different then our SO's. It's just life. At no time do I bad mouth MIL to DH. I do not say "my parents are awesome and your mom sucks. So my parents get the better gift than your mom". MIL is still DH's mom and I give her the respect she deserved. I think I might go out of my way to make sure I treat her the same as my parents.

Outside of actual abuse (and no, not helping to pay for a wedding is not abuse), no good comes out of making a point of how awesome your parents are over your in-laws. That includes being petty about a parent gift.

blushingbride8888 · August 2015

Fi and I are doing gifts for our parents - we're both giving them out privately as they're sentimental and I didn't want to do it in front of everyone. Do what feels right for you. Our gifts are based on them being our parents...not financial help but I understand why you may think that as I've seen that written places before.

Not involved soon to be mother in law. Gets gift or no?

Re: Not involved soon to be mother in law. Gets gift or no?

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