Got to love these "tough" ones... Background, one of my coaches (someone who was with me through an INCREDIBLY dark time in my life and I his) and his wife (a BM in our wedding) silently got divorced at the beginning of summer. Basically, they're both saying they were absolutely incompatible with eachother and it was a long overdue split as they'd apparently been estranged from eachother for quite a while but never let anyone on to this. We're about an hour from eachother so it's not like we get together often other than the kids' birthdays because our lives are just crazy busy.
About two weeks ago, before announcing it to the world, BM FB messages me to say that they got the divorce, she had been dating a gentleman for a year, and invited me to Vegas for her wedding this month but that they're going to have a gathering here when they return (not renewal) because they wanted to do something with the kids and local friends unable to attend... Today she messaged me the info on this and that it's dinner at a restaurant then going to their house (DH & kids also invited). Of course, when I found out, I messaged her now ex to say "Love ya man! I was here for you before and DH & I are here for you again if he needs anything (his previous wife he got home from work one day and she was banging a bodybuilder in their bed... I was there when he met his now ex and pulled himself out of a dark time - they were great for eachother so it's been a bit of a shock)... Apparently, I'm the only person that reached out to him to even check on how he's holding up through all this.
Here's where it gets sticky... They're still living together (he's still paying the mortgage and won't be able to get off of it until around May, hence can't afford an apartment... He's living essentially in the basement and has the kids every other weekend (something tells me he rolled over and played dead in the divorce - again)... I love them both so dearly for their own unique reasons and want to be supportive of both without creating an awkward situation of being there for him while still supporting her (wasn't it a "Friends or "Seinfeld" episode where "In a divorce they have to divide up the friends" LOL)...
So - how do I call him up to say "hey, want to get the kids/hubby together for the day" his ex is getting married (she's not taking their kids to Vegas) to just put his mind on something else, then turn around and shortly there-after attend the celebration of the wedding??? And, what on earth do I give them as a gift (they aren't registering and no way in heck am I giving cash!)... I gave them a wine themed basket as their wedding gift years ago which was the perfect gift knowing her and him, but I just think doing that one again would be awkward beyond belief (even if it's again the perfect gift idea!)... Any ideas???