DEAR AMY: I am a woman in my 40s who was married twice. Both husbands were abusive.
I have done a lot of work in overcoming these relationships, which included not dating anyone for more than five years. Then I met him.
It was a sexual relationship, and he awakened me in many other ways I had never experienced before.
It was clear from the beginning that he didn't want a commitment, but over time he would act and talk as if we had a commitment.
Then I learned of his other life. This includes an ex-wife and a child he lives with. He told me he is married to another woman to help her acquire citizenship. He spends time with other lovers. I was devastated.
I decided to say goodbye. After some time, he claimed to have missed me. I went back twice and asked him to make a choice. He didn't choose me, but we carried on our affair. I then learned that he gave me herpes despite practicing safe sex. He has decided that we cannot talk anymore. Should I confront him again?
I have tried and have met other men, but I either find them quite boring (i.e., safe) or find myself comparing them to the past.
Lonely in New York