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wedding worries

Knottie1437698972Knottie1437698972 member
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in Wedding Woes
So my fiancé and I have already picked a date and venue for next year September 10, 2016! We got engaged August 2015. Initially,we wanted August 27th but we had to change for his brother. I have always wanted a wedding in the warmer months because well Chicago weather is very unpredictable so I was worried about having the wedding in any other month (besides summer). We found a venue that we loved but the only date available was September 10. So we had no choice but to choose September 10th (He wanted a Saturday wedding). Well 1 year prior September 2013, his aunt passed away from cancer on that day. He spoke to his mother and his mother said it was ok to have the wedding on that date. However, today he told his other family members and they were not too thrilled about this date. I was not trying to insensitive at all, but we really did not have a choice. Any opinions on the matter? Did anyone experience anything similar? It was not my intention to ever be insensitive to anyone. 
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Re: wedding worries

  • MesmrEweMesmrEwe member
    First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper

    Don't read too much into the date.  The importance is that the date be one that both you and FI want to choose to start your lives together as husband and wife.  Nothing more nothing less.  9-10-16... Easy enough to remember for future Anniversaries.. 

    Just because Great Gravel Gurtie who passed away three decades ago doesn't mean that the week surrounding that date is forever off-limits.  If anything, that aspect should have been left alone instead of making it an issue.  Your choices are change the date (October in Chicago is lovely with the changing of the colors), or leave the date alone.  IMO, leave the date alone and if anyone tries to bring changing it up, go ahead and bean dip it!

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  • Knottie1437698972Knottie1437698972 member
    First Comment
    Thank you so much for your thoughts on the matter. One of my bridesmaids is actually the daughter of the aunt that passed away and she said that no matter what people are going to get pissed at a date, you can't make everyone happy. My fiancé even talked to her father about it before we set the date and everything was fine. The daughter said that if he had an issue, he should have spoke up. The daughter has no issue with it but did say that a lot of people grieve differently. She told me not to worry either and that everything will be fine by next year :) thank you
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  • downtondivadowntondiva member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    I wouldn't change the date just because a few people "weren't thrilled" about it. Keep in mind that your FI's relatives may have just been a bit taken aback; their reaction doesn't necessarily mean they'll still be upset about it a year from now.
    image
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  • snowywintersnowywinter member
    5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    Honestly, if it was me, I'd change the date. There are so many other dates in the summer of 2016. Are they ALL taken? What about June or July? Have you looked at May? Surely there's one other date available. If you'd rather just keep it as is, then that's fine. It's your choice (and your Fi's), but for me, certain dates are off-limits it's the day of a loved one's death. That's just me though. I know people see this differently.
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  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold mod
    First Answer First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its
    snowywinter said:
    Honestly, if it was me, I'd change the date. There are so many other dates in the summer of 2016. Are they ALL taken? What about June or July? Have you looked at May? Surely there's one other date available. If you'd rather just keep it as is, then that's fine. It's your choice (and your Fi's), but for me, certain dates are off-limits it's the day of a loved one's death. That's just me though. I know people see this differently.
    I agree. this isn't some long-dead, distant family member we're talking about, it's the groom's aunt who passed pretty recently. I think it's reasonable to avoid this. If my cousin got married on the anniversary of my mom's death, I'd find it really insensitive. 
    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
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  • Knottie1437698972Knottie1437698972 member
    First Comment
    Trust me, I didn't even want September. I wanted July or August for the summer. We got engaged in middle of August and for the venue that we both liked (and was affordable) that was the only date besides August 27th.
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  • snowywintersnowywinter member
    5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    Knottie1437698972 said:
    Trust me, I didn't even want September. I wanted July or August for the summer. We got engaged in middle of August and for the venue that we both liked (and was affordable) that was the only date besides August 27th.
    So August 27th is the only date available in the entire summer season of 2016? Why can't you do it on the 27th? And what about October or April?
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  • *Barbie**Barbie* member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    Knottie1437698972 said:
    Trust me, I didn't even want September. I wanted July or August for the summer. We got engaged in middle of August and for the venue that we both liked (and was affordable) that was the only date besides August 27th.
    so wait until 2017
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  • MesmrEweMesmrEwe member
    First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    Knottie1437698972 said:
    Trust me, I didn't even want September. I wanted July or August for the summer. We got engaged in middle of August and for the venue that we both liked (and was affordable) that was the only date besides August 27th.

    The weekend before Labor day - while not ideal because that's when families usually take their "Last Harrah Vacation" before the end of summer, it's certainly doable...   That said - a lot depends on your venue if you've already booked, the date might not be available now...

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  • Knottie1437698972Knottie1437698972 member
    First Comment
    Hi everyone! Just want to thank everyone for their advice. I ended up calling all my vendorsand I was actually allowed to change the date. It would bother me a year from now with having the weight on my shoulders and definitely did not want any bad blood. Turns out someone cancelled last minute for August 6 and my venue allowed me to switch. Thanks everyone! You guys were a big help. I was running around like a mad women today to see if I could switch dates. I was a total wreck but glad everything worked out in my favor.
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  • *Barbie**Barbie* member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    Knottie1437698972 said:
    Hi everyone! Just want to thank everyone for their advice. I ended up calling all my vendorsand I was actually allowed to change the date. It would bother me a year from now with having the weight on my shoulders and definitely did not want any bad blood. Turns out someone cancelled last minute for August 6 and my venue allowed me to switch. Thanks everyone! You guys were a big help. I was running around like a mad women today to see if I could switch dates. I was a total wreck but glad everything worked out in my favor.
    10 months in advance isn't exactly a last minute cancellation. 
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