Wedding Woes

Ugh: DH + holiday travel

So you know DH's relationship with FIL is kind of complicated.  Last night, he said that his dad has been asking us to come for Thanksgiving or Christmas, and that SIL "might" be there with her kids, Norman Rockwell, etc.  DH is conflicted.  He is cheap, so he hates airfare x 4.  (I priced Thanksgiving flights just for kicks, and it's about $1600 for the four of us.  But I can probably fly on miles, which would reduce that, and Wooz may or may not have enough miles that we could buy her up to a ticket.)  Neither of us want to do 11 hours in the car with the kids.  We talked about splitting it up over two days, but then that's two days going, two days coming back, and we're already at four days and we haven't even seen anyone yet.

So there are no easy, obvious answers here.  But I have seen this before, and I'm afraid that DH will hem and haw for weeks and weeks, and then suddenly airfare will be more like $2000 and all that will be left are 5:00 a.m. and 9:00 p.m. flights.  And then he'll be bitching about that, and his dad will be guilting him about missing Thanksgiving, his sister will post 400 Instagram pics of her with FIL and the kids, and DH will go into a major funk and spend Thanksgiving weekend pouting.

What he really needs to do is make up his mind and commit to whatever that is, but I know from experience that it's not his strength.  He's more of a long-term ruminator.  Which I could live with, if he would STFU about the consequences.  But he doesn't.  Ugh.

As an aside, SIL is fun but also the flakiest person I've ever met, so saying she "might" be there doesn't mean jack, IME.  It would be nice to see her and the kids, but I wouldn't make it a major factor in our decision because you just never know if she'll show up.

If it were up to me, I'd buy the Thanksgiving tickets and call it a day.  But I would not be at all sad if we did Thanksgiving at home with my mom and the kids.  We just need to figure it out before November 12 or something.

Re: Ugh: DH + holiday travel

  • ugh.
    Southwest lets you rebook for free...
  • Ugh.  Sorry.  I'd give him a drop dead date OR price and tell him the decision will be made by that date or pricing.  

    Does SIL get shit on if she doesn't show up or is DH the only lucky one?
  • Ugh.  Sorry.  I'd give him a drop dead date OR price and tell him the decision will be made by that date or pricing.  

    Does SIL get shit on if she doesn't show up or is DH the only lucky one?
    That is an excellent idea.  I already said do it or don't do it, but figure it out ASAP.  I like giving ASAP a date.  :)

    TBH, SIL gets shit on for a lot of things, some justified (saying she's on her way and then going somewhere else instead) and some less so.  So if she blows it off, FIL will complain, but she's sort of immune to it.  Whereas DH will brood on it for days.   
    mrsconn23
  • Gah, DH does this. Last year, he talked about wanting to go with DS to MIL's house so that they could see snow, spend time with his grandpa, etc. I priced out tickets and while they weren't cheap they were reasonable. But DH sat on it until like 4 weeks before. We paid for them and then I had to hear about how we really needed to tighten up our budget because of that expense, and all other sorts of nonsense. But I know if he hadn't gone, I'd still be hearing about it now.


    Heffalump
  • MesmrEweMesmrEwe member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited September 2015

    Book the flights and be done with it!  I'd go as far as booking them earlier and return home slightly later (i.e instead of spending those four days in the car, spend the time there instead) because that may cut some cost slightly on the tickets.

    ETA: DH is one who takes forever to make decisions like this too...  I never rely on him being/going anywhere - until he's physically in the car to leave (it's primarily due to the nature of his job which he has little control over so I've learned to roll with it)...

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • PMeg819 said:
    Gah, DH does this. Last year, he talked about wanting to go with DS to MIL's house so that they could see snow, spend time with his grandpa, etc. I priced out tickets and while they weren't cheap they were reasonable. But DH sat on it until like 4 weeks before. We paid for them and then I had to hear about how we really needed to tighten up our budget because of that expense, and all other sorts of nonsense. But I know if he hadn't gone, I'd still be hearing about it now.


    Right?  You travel, so you know you don't just wake up two weeks beforehand and say "Maybe I'll fly somewhere for Thanksgiving."  Especially not when you need four seats, preferably together.

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    mrsconn23
  • As a rule of thumb, airfare is usually the cheapest 45 days out from travel... try to set your "asap" date to that date and pick a budget.  If you price it out every day, and one day falls under budget, book it and go.  If he still hasn't made a decision by day 45, don't bother going for Thanksgiving.

    Best of luck!
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