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Newly engaged and freaking out

kimmiinthemittenkimmiinthemitten member
First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
in Just Engaged and Proposals
Please tell me I'm not  the only person who is having a hard time wrapping their head around being a "bride."

Don't get me wrong, I'd marry my FI tomorrow in sweatpants in a Courthouse!  It's the not the marriage, it's the wedding.  There is so much to consider, so much to plan, so many details.  And then there's all the weird attention on you for just being a couple.  I told FI I'd feel better if I could debate someone at the altar before the vows because that's a form of attention I'm used to hahahaha.
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Re: Newly engaged and freaking out

  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold mod
    First Answer First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its
    kimmiandkoley said:
    Please tell me I'm not  the only person who is having a hard time wrapping their head around being a "bride."

    Don't get me wrong, I'd marry my FI tomorrow in sweatpants in a Courthouse!  It's the not the marriage, it's the wedding.  There is so much to consider, so much to plan, so many details.  And then there's all the weird attention on you for just being a couple.  I told FI I'd feel better if I could debate someone at the altar before the vows because that's a form of attention I'm used to hahahaha.
    To the bolded, there doesn't have to be. I got married in a restaurant with 30 guests, no DJ, family friend photographer and used the restaurant's decor. We planned it in 13 days. Your wedding can be as elaborate or as simple as you want it to be (you as in your and your FI and whoever else is paying). Don't get sucked into the craziness that has become weddings. 
    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
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  • MollyandDMollyandD member
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    I got married with around 130 guests, but my venue was a wonderful chapel with a coordinator who handled all the stress for me. I just told her what I wanted. I still had some to plan, but she made it pretty stress-free for the most part.
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited June 2015
    I postponed planning for a whole year b/c I was overwhelmed at the prospect of even dealing with it, but once I got started, it wasn't so bad. You just have to decide the kind of wedding you want, make lists, and take it one step at a time. 

    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Wedding planning can be as easy or as stressful as you make it.  Once all the main vendors are booked you tend to have this long lull of nothing.  But really, you are planning a fun party.  Don't let the word "wedding" make it stressful.

    Oh and all those tiny details that you think are important, like the color ribbon you use on your favors, or the favors themselves, or the exact shade of pink flower to match the pink of your BM dresses will most likely go unnoticed by your guests.  Your guests care about the food, the drinks, good dancing music (if you have dancing) and making sure they have a place to sit.  As long as you make sure that your guests are comfortable then they will be happy which will mean that you will have a kick ass wedding regardless of how simple or elaborate it is.

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  • klk111415klk111415 member
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    It all seems stressfull in the beginning.  Just take everything one step at a time!  I think I was freaking out from July (when we got engaged) to around September.  I haven't felt overly stressed since we booked our vendors and found our venue.  Just sit down together and figure out what you want, and then make a check list each month.  Only put on that checklist what you need to have done within the month.  Don't put everything down on the same checklist because it will seem overwhemling.  Once you start to figure out what kind of wedding you want, eveything will slowly come together.  Don't worry, the attention will subside.  Everyone will want to give you unsolicited advice, so be prepared to say mmmhmmm a lot.  And the less details you share, the better.  That's what I've found.  :)  Take it easy and enjoy being engaged! 
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  • randomsloverandomslove member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    edited June 2015
    Amen, dude.

    I never dreamed about getting married when I was little. I didn't think I wanted children or marriage until about two years ago. And it wasn't until a few months before my FI proposed (after we'd had some serious talks) that I started thinking about what kind of wedding I would want. Even then it was just a kind of general, "Winter would be nice," kinda feel.

    So now I'm burying myself in planning stuff when I feel motivated because I knew less than nothing. I'd be happy having siblings (including two or three besties who are pretty much siblings) and parents get together for a small ceremony without a wedding party. He's a little more traditional, so we're doing a small, subdued wedding with a lot of planning and budgeting time.

    As for the attention... people will forget or will mentally move on (thank God, amirite?). We've already had friends get engaged and married in the time we've been engaged (two months). And I have two people about to announce pregnancies, so yay.

    And yes, unsolicited advice by the droves. One girl told me to buy a dress a size or two bigger because "most women gain weight before their wedding." Ummm. I've worn the same size for fourteen years. Not injuries, nor birth control, nor getting in and out of the military have changed my size significantly.

    But yes, someone will have an opinion on literally everything even if you don't ask. So learn to shrug it off early. And good luck.





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  • kimmiinthemittenkimmiinthemitten member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Congrats and good luck to you too;).

    Our dates seem close from your countdown....we're 12/17/15!
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  • randomsloverandomslove member
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    Thanks. Yeah, we're going for December 27, 2016. Doing a huge joint family Christmas and then our little wedding two days later.





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  • scoettoscoetto member
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    Agreed. They're only as overwhelming as you wish them to be. My first planning process was ridiculous. I had to have this, that, the other, and then some. Went into debt over it (which I totally don't recommend). This time around we're going more low key - either having a private wedding with just the two of us or invite people with a list no bigger than 26 (including ourselves). The only thing I'm stressing out about this time around is whether to have the guests or not. FI opts for not and he'll probably win. Just keep in mind that the details won't matter in the end. Keep it as simple as possible and enjoy.
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  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    I think the most overwhelming part is determining the budget and size that pleases you as a couple and, if it's important also, your families. 

    Once DH and I and his mother came to an agreement on event size, the budget got sorted quickly. Luckily DH and I had the same general "vision" for an event, so the rest of the planning fell into place pretty well. We also had an amazing coordinator at a mostly all-inclusive venue which took the stress of greatly. 
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  • lhill128lhill128 member
    First Comment First Anniversary
    Luckily so far we have agreed on everything,  nothing has been too stressful.  Deciding on the budget first and foremost really helped.  We both wanted a small wedding.. 100 guests.  We booked our venue within a month of getting engaged and now we have a bout a year and 8 months to work out all the details.  I knew if I didn't give myself plenty of time I'd make myself crazy.  Having a date and venue booked has really calmed me down!  Good luck on your planning and remember what a wedding is all about.  Id much rather have a beautiful marriage than a beautiful wedding!!! :)
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