Wedding Woes

Four men

Dear Prudence,
I’ve been dating a guy I met in law school for about two years. He is the type who wants to work constantly his entire life, be extremely successful, and provide lavishly for his future family. He’d prefer to work 12-hour days and make more money than work 8-hour days and come home for dinner. I strongly disagree with this. In a conversation about our future, He said he would spend as much time as possible with a child when he wasn’t working, but when I asked him if he would take two weeks of paternity leave, he said absolutely not. Once upon a time, he said, men were back at the office 30 minutes after the baby was born. He thinks I don’t appreciate his work ethic and desire to provide the best life possible for his future wife and children. Are we incompatible, or is something that can be worked out? 

—Future Single Parent

Re: Four men

  • This is one of those questions that doesn't really need to be asked.  I think this lady knows they're incompatible and was hoping someone would tell her otherwise.  Nope.
  • At least the guy's being perfectly honest with her!  He needs an independent woman who is great with him there or not even after she gives birth, this gal's just not it...  Let him seek a woman who values his work ethic and probably is working the same amount of hours he is...  Stay friends but not the marrying type of friends..   

    (oh how I remember a time when I had no plans to take maternity leave myself until FIL and DH forced it on me...)

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