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Tell son we know or let him tell us?

Dear Prudence, 
My husband and I have always speculated that our only child may be gay. In high school, he had a few close male friends that he would be very close to for a few months to a year, and then they would disappear and our son would be visibly heartbroken. My husband and I have had marital issues over the years, which I believe has blinded us in some ways to our son and this burden he must be carrying. I feel horrible. Our son is 24 and finishing graduate school. He recently brought a college friend home and it is very obvious there is something going on between them. They shared a room, and we found an empty condom box after their visit. Additionally, both of them are in a relationship on Facebook, originating on the same date, but it does not say with whom.

We are absolutely supportive of our son no matter what and want him to know that. How do we go about letting him know that we are his No. 1 fans, and are totally accepting of the situation, without making either of them uncomfortable?

—Anxious Cheerleaders

Re: Tell son we know or let him tell us?

  • I'd lead into a conversation where he might be more comfortable with coming out.  The stories online about kids whose parents did that for them are heartbreaking in their joy and relief.  They might be able to seek out help doing this from the local LGBTQ+ support groups too.  Hell, they should just join PFLAG and start casually mentioning it to son.  
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