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Wedding Woes

BF's ex + wedding = no date for me

Dear Prudence, 
My boyfriend of six years is refusing to accompany me to a friend’s wedding because an ex who broke up with him ten years ago will be in the bridal party. From what he says, it was an awful relationship and its termination was slow and painful and led to the most miserable year of his life. But it happened a decade ago, and he’s moved on (obviously) and become very successful. He says that even seeing her will make him feel anxious and awful and he will be unable to have a good time. Obviously I’m not going to drag him to an event that he will be miserable at, but am I right to be frustrated?

–Forget the Past

Re: BF's ex + wedding = no date for me

  • Is it really obvious that he moved on?

    I had a horrible breakup but I managed to attend a wedding with my husband where my ex was present.    
  • thefanciestbecklerthefanciestbeckler Chattanooga, TN member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    I'm with Banana. This is too weird to me. I'd have absolutely no problem attending a wedding with DH where an ex was present- regardless of how the relationship ended.

  • levioosalevioosa Southern California member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    I can see the bf's point of view.  I can't stand my ex. He broke my heart in a very painful way.  If possible, I'd avoid an event he was at if I knew for sure he'd be there.  On the other hand, it would be a cold day in hell that I'd miss something big like a wedding, knowing he would think it was because of him.  He doesn't get to have that satisfaction.  


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  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold bend over and I'll show ya mod
    Moderator 5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its
    I once broke up with a boyfriend by never answering the phone or calling him back. I would avoid a social situation if I knew he'd be there.
    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
  • princessleia22princessleia22 Oceanfront Property in Arizona member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Answer
    Yeah, it's not so obvious that he's over it.  I'd go and just ignore the ex. Actually, I have done that.  Several years ago a good friend of mine got married.  I had at one time been engaged to his brother and it didn't exactly have a great ending. DH and I attended my friend's bachelor party and wedding.  We were able to be civil with my ex and just avoided talking to him.  It was a bit awkward, but it really wasn't so bad. 

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