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I need more information before a ruling can be made

Dear Prudence,
As it has come up occasionally over the years, I wondered: What is your take on the “can you complain to your neighbors about hearing them have sex” topic? Generally, advice seems to be no, but I was just wondering if there are any circumstances that make it appropriate (time of day/night, day of week, repeat offenders, etc.)? For what it’s worth, I’m the complaint receiver (rarely happens), not the complainer, and I always have a mental battle over feeling like they just need to deal with it versus needing to make everyone happy and not be objectionable in any way in case they complain to landlord. What’s your take? Do I apologize? Ignore them? Change habits? Thanks!

—Too Loud?

Re: I need more information before a ruling can be made

  • thefanciestbecklerthefanciestbeckler Chattanooga, TN member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    Yeah.... I think this requires more information.

  • Well... if they complain to the landlord it's because of paper thin walls so chances are the landlord is going to blow the "noise" complaint off...  As will most officers unless they're really keeping everyone up at night...
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  • As a landlady, I'm always surprised and think it is so weird that some people's first jump about a neighbor complaint is to complain to the LL.

    Thankfully, I haven't had it happen to me.  Of course, I want my tenants to be happy in their home, but I'm not Dr. Phil or a volunteer parent on the playground.  Unless it's something extreme or illegal, act like adults and work it out yourselves.

    And if it hasn't been so bad that my hypothetical tenant hasn't even called the police yet, then I especially don't give a s**t.

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  • If one has, personally, received multiple complaints about their loud sex maybe they should consider moving somewhere they won't have to share a wall? I can get loud. I've never had anyone complain to me about it, but then currently we live a good 50ft or more from the nearest house. I should hope no one can hear me/us.
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